Posts Tagged ‘Wedding’

To me there is a profound difference in meaningless sex, or sex just for the act of ejaculation and passionate sex with a woman who I really love, care about, and trust.

My married sex life lacked the passionate sex I so craved all of the time.  I can count on my appendages the times that the sex was actually very good during my marriage.  It was not like my wife was not hot, she was.  She even tried to do things from time to time.  However we just never had that chemistry, or if we did, something else was screwed up between us.  I do blame a lot of our marriage problems of her feminist beliefs and her neo-Christianity.  I still think that had she not joined a gyno-centric church we would have made it and had had a good marriage.  Also she was very repressed about her own sexuality in general.  I once believed, albeit incorrectly, that this was a problem I needed to correct.

After many years of lame duty sex I thought I sucked at being a lover.  The lame sex in my marriage affected me deeply.  I began to doubt myself.  I felt inadequate.  I was dying inside, slowly over many years. After she left I doubted myself even more.  I felt worse.

I even spoke to a couple of my female clients about it while I was still married and they offered to “grade” me.  I declined their offers, which I regret doing so now.  After she left I noticed that with the variety of women I started banging that I was in fact a very good lover.  They not only told me so, they showed me with their sexual responses and their bodies.  I enjoyed the passion of the entire act from seduction and foreplay to post coitus cuddling.  My lovers enjoyed how I loved the entire act.  One particular woman I met after my wife left me brought out all of those many years of my sexual repression and my wife’s denial of my own sexual pleasure.  She allowed me to explore my sexuality in a safe environment and with her.  The one thing her and I had was a connection.  I always looked forward to our lovemaking.  For days after we made love I felt complete, I felt like a man.  These feelings compelled me to be a better man overall.  These feelings she aroused in me also compelled me to want to please her in every way.  I wanted to spend time with her when I could.  It was with her I no longer doubted my sexual abilities.  It was after her that all of my lovers showed me that I was ranked among their very best.  For that I will always be grateful to her.  Unfortunately, the relationship had to end for other reasons, but our time together will be counted as a fond memory of mine.

After that woman and some others I have had, I no longer desire meaningless sex with just any woman.  It is more than knowing I am the prize and my natural aloofness.  It is that in a loving relationship where we both love and trust each other a connection happens that leaves me feeling full.  It is that connection that I am seeking.  I know there will be meaningless sex along the way, but I will always seek out the “connection” that makes me a better man.

I know couples that have that connection.  I have spoken to both men and women about their sex lives.  The best relationships are those where they both can feel open and honest with each other to not only express their fantasies but explore them with each other.  I think this woman gets it from the female point of view.  Another thing I noticed is that when a woman embraces her own and her man’s sexuality he will normally stop desiring other women and desire to commit to only her.  I think that women who have a problem with their men looking at porn should take heed to this.  If he can equate that full feeling and connection that (he craves with you) to having sex with you, then I don’t see porn being a problem in your relationship.

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A little Christmas Cheer for the STBX.

As for the girls, like you, I also don’t think they need their father.  You mentioned some nonsense to me before about how daughters needing their daddy’s but I am sure you were just trying to manipulate me into doing something for you at the time and you could not have really meant what you said.  Your present actions speak louder than some wayward conversation we may have had in the distant past anyways.  You and I both know that the courts think the same way and that fathers are an unnecessary component to any child upbringing.  Also the courts are never concerned with the wellbeing of men or how they will be able to survive nor should they be.

Maybe you have another man to replace me that you think would be better for them, or maybe he romances you better than I ever did.  Women in their 30’s are easily finding good husbands to marry them, and you are still relatively attractive for your age so you should have no problem meeting that perfect man to marry you.  And you won’ t even have to settle for any man you’re not head over heels in love with like you had to do with me.  Either way, as you expressed to me numerous times you want me out of their lives, so I am out, and I am making this choice willingly.  That means I don’t want to know anything about them and of course I don’t want any of the responsibility.  You cannot have your cake and eat it too you know.

So I decided that because you don’t want me in their lives I should just forget about them and just go back to the life I was living before we met, which was actually quite fun and exciting before meeting you.  I figure I can enjoy being a bachelor like I did before, partying with various young women doing what I want without consequence and I won’t have to worry about kids or anything else but myself.  It’s not like I would ever get the full commitment of any woman in my life.  I have even been thinking again about getting a vasectomy which I seriously wanted to do before I even met you.  That way I won’t have to be concerned with any more sudden and unplanned surprises.  Anyway it’s not like you really wanted to have sex all that much, nor will we ever do so again in the future.  As for remarriage, I see no point as it was a mistake the first time marrying any woman, because this is what always happens to us men or at least 90% of us because you women often are the ones who decide you don’t need us anymore for whatever reason.  Plus it’s just not popular to marry anymore.  We are only good for sperm donations and its time men should realize this and quit complaining.  The Rules have changed after all, plus I am sure you feel regret for not being able to have more fun when you were young.  I knew the risks, as did you.

Divorce is a good thing because your happiness is the most important thing you can ever strive for and Tara, you do deserve happiness irregardless of what you might have to do to get it and regardless of what anyone may think or say about what you are doing.  You have your pride after all.  Some people won’t understand all the crap and abuse you had to go through being married to me and how you say I committed adultery by looking at porn.  They may even try to tell you the kids will be messed up from their parents splitting up.  Don’t listen to them.  They do not know what they are talking about.  I know before you left me you had thought a lot about how much better your life would be without having a husband (like me) to think about.  Now that you left you are living the dream and soon you will be able to cash in.  All the power to live your life as you see fit is yours.  You have seen so many other woman succeed at what you’re doing such as your mother and my mother and things are good for both of them so why won’t they be for you too.  Both of them ended up very well I think.  Their children are no worse for going through the experience and most of their hardships were only temporary.

I thought this would be the best present I could give you and the girls.  As soon as you file for divorce and expedite its review, you can take everything I have left and rape me with child support payments I cannot afford, nor will I ever pay.  Then I will have to leave the area or maybe even the country for somewhere that’s more interesting so I can be free from you and the man.  I know if I sell the rest of my stuff I can live comfortably in Thailand for a few years or more.  I see no reason to stick around here seeing as I won’t have any more contact with you or my progeny as per your desires.

This letter is not a joke or a parody, quite the opposite.  This letter is just my acceptance of the present reality of the situation, our current laws, and your general dislike and disregard for me.  I suppose it’s the last stage of my grief and all of that so I am now good to finally move on.  I am happy I have finally gotten to this point.  Again this is not a joke, I feel much better about my being single again.  Aren’t you relived that I finally accept the inevitable and will give you the girls 100% so I can go off and party and do my own thing and leave you alone?  That is what you told me you wanted after all so as a gift I am giving it to you.  Sorry I didn’t have a bow.

BTW, Merry Christmas.

By :MonkeyWerks

Women hate to watch a man struggle; it makes them sick and their pussy as dry as popcorn farts.  They will make every excuse to run away from you as fast as they can unless of course you are that uber alpha rock band bass player.

When C broke ended our relationship, she did so because I am pretty broke. That night I had to ask her if she had really ever struggled in life, specifically financially.  I knew the real answer, but I had to ask anyways.

Some men have not had to struggle either, but I think most men have had times where they had to struggle financially and sometimes even to the point of being on the brink of losing everything.

Most of us when we go through hard times pick ourselves up and work to fixing the problems.  We scrimp and live frugally.  We change our lifestyle in order to reduce the need for financial resources.  In other words we adopt a simpler lifestyle.  Sometimes this simpler lifestyle gives us a means to a sort of financial independence.  I have seen many men who made large annual incomes yet although they had more “nice stuff” they did not have any independence and their overall happiness with their lives was lower.

As I see it financial independence is such that I could live my life and do what I want when I want.  This may not entail having the resources to become a jetsetter but being able to live comfortably on a minimal annual income stream has always been a goal of mine.  My current lifestyle allows me to work only a few hours per day.  With the income that comes in I can tend my garden and pursue many of my other interests.  Some of these pursuits also make money which offsets the costs of my various hobbies.  As things in my life stabilize, I believe that in the next 24 months I will be living a much more carefree life filling my days with my children’s laughter and the satisfaction of doing the things I most want to do.  That is freedom.  I don’t mind doing the hard work to live naturally and off of my land reloading my own ammo or working on my turbo cars.  Freedom does not necessitate I drive an $80,000 car or live in a 5000 sq/ft house.  A nice home on some land and my current collection of fast cars is plenty for me.  This was a goal I though even my ex-wife was interested in.

However, for many women my ideal would never be enough.  They would always want that big house, a big diamond and the expensive car to drive.  In their gut they will desire to acquire the symbols of social status, including the hot alpha man if they can pull it off, but a beta will do if he makes enough money.  Many women have been raised to expect this either by being brought up in a household with higher than average income or being married to or involved with successful (but beta) men.  Of course they need a man to work his ass of so she can realize her ambitions, which is the common denominator in all of this.  These women will trade whatever they need to and nothing more to secure a mans resources.  This can be her conditional sexual intimacy, children and even a cleverly disguised feigned genuine interest in the man’s goals and ambitions.  I have seen this far too often.  My ex-wife admitted this to me one day in not so many words and C has also admitted to me that they were both very interested and supportive of my ambitions until it became apparent they too would need to work hard and help me if they were to benefit from my labors.  These women acted the same differing only by degrees and detail in the execution of their overall plans to run away as soon as it became necessary that their hands might get dirty.  Upon realizing this I had decided I will never work for a woman ever again.  I will only work for me.  She may follow me and even possibly enjoy SOME of the fruits of my labors if she helps out, but she will never be either the motivation or the sole recipient of these fruits.  I will never buy a woman a house or car.  I will not pay for her hobbies such as her horses.  The only thing she offered me was sex and escorts and young sluts can provide that if necessary and for a much lower overall cost.  Most women will make excuses and run whenever it became necessary for them to help their man out a jam.  This is why it is important to never rely on a woman or her help in order for you to realize your goals.  Of course this was not always the situation, but it now seems the norm with the modern woman.

My ex-wife is living the typical post divorce lifestyle.  I really do feel bad for her, but the choice was all hers and so are the consequences.  She seems to be just getting by but is not doing well by any means.  Many of my influences, such as simple and holistic living, have rubbed off on her and her current lifestyle depicts this, but her execution of my influences is terribly flawed, which is why she will always struggle financially until she either gets remarried or gets a higher paying job thus trading much of her freedom of choice for more financial security. She would also have to stop homeschooling our daughters at this time.  Between her added expenses of paying for her own household without my help and her desire to keep my children away from me, she is running ragged by her situation and it shows.  She is starting to look like shit.  She needs a roommate to help her financially because she is unable to afford live on her income alone.  She eschewed being married to me, a loving and faithful husband who worked hard for his family and a father for our children to living with various other women with their (probable illegitimate) children which only accelerates my daughters being fucked up even more.  She will have no choice, like most divorced women, but to find (settle for) and marry a man who can (put her on a pedestal) provide for her financially.  My mother did this, my brother’s fiancé with her 3 children from 3 different men is doing this with my brother and C had been attempting to groom me to do this for her. Almost every other divorced woman I know or have met aspires to this same end if they have not already succeeded in securing their provider chump after their run on the carousel.  This illuminates several other problems and issues I will address in later essays but suffice it to say although she has tried I won’t be this fucking guy.  However, this essay is not about my ex-wife, it is about my former lover C.

I am going to use her as an example because it is a perfect one in my opinion, to show how the modern woman thinks in these and similar situations.  It also shows why I have no desire to bust my ass for an older slutty woman, a single mother, a reborn again Christian virgin, or a feminist.  In Financial Frame I explained some of the dynamics at play.  One thing I want to mention is that she made a very big deal about how she made more money than me.  I personally did not have a problem with that personally, but she did.  She stated that men feel inferior when their woman earns more. I think that Rollo had it right when he wrote about this dynamic conflicting with her Hypergamic nature,

She was raised in an upper middle class home with a SAHM and had never had to go hungry or worry if there was money to buy shoes.  Her parents have more than $3 million in the bank from what I understand.  In and of itself that’s good.  My family was quite poor growing up and I don’t wish than on anyone.  When she graduated high school at 18 she was engaged to and lived with a guy and apparently she worked but they were pretty broke.  Now to be fair, her parents made her work from a young age and instilled a good work ethic in her.  In this regard she was awesome and at first I thought she would be an asset to my endeavors, but as was shown above, she only expended her energies for things that would benefit her directly and immediately.  The two main drawbacks to her upbringing are that her mother is a narcissist and due to inadequate bonding caused C to have acquired a form of Borderline Personality Disorder as many American women currently have to some degree and she was brought up by her beta father to be a Strong Independent Woman®.  As I incorrectly assumed that my wife would assist me in getting back on track, I also erroneously assumed that C would also assist me in setting up a life that we both could benefit from and enjoy. That was apparently not the case.

Continuing with her story, when she was about 20 she moved in with a 40 year old man she worked for a within a week after they started dating.  This man was also broke from the divorce he JUST went through although he owned the company she worked for.  So because she worked for her future fiancé she was getting a paycheck and he was unable to draw a sufficient one for himself the first year.  She helped pay their bills during this time.  After a year he was apparently back on his feet and all was well in her world.  He bought her some horses and a farm in order to have them at home.  To give you an idea on this man’s wealth he owned a ½ million dollar boat race team.  He died after they were together for about 13 years and she inherited the bulk of his estate, not his children from what I understand.  They never ended up getting married and he committed suicide when she left him, at least that’s her story.  She could have been fucking everyone behind his back for all I know.

She seemed to have been an asset for this man.  Judging by her stories she helped with the boat team and was integral in the operation of his companies.  It is apparent that this man made her an alpha widow.  Allegedly, he was her 3rd sexual partner and the last before she became unable to pair bond to another man.  She told me she had about 6 other sexual partners after him and I was her 10th.  Yeah right.  It became obvious that because this man’s history, situation, including having 2 daughters and our personalities being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  Furthermore, it just grated on me when she made comparisons between he and I. I did call her out on that shit when it occurred and ignored her for a week or so.  Out of her admitted number of past sexual partners there were 3 STR with lesser alphas or greater betas, and the rest were likely pretty beta. I can only surmise by listening to her talk about these men and asking questions. Thankfully, I was wise enough to see from the beginning she had been searching for her first alpha’s replacement by engaging in serial monogamy coupled with a young fuck buddy and a couple of Craigslist hookups with her playing the unicorn.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago and this is where we met.  She could not afford groceries, she never had much if any cash available and she ALWAYS used her credit cards to buy everything.  I think she had like a dozen of them at this time.

Her financial picture is as follows.  She spent about ½ the estate she inherited on her horses to the tune of more than $250k-$300k.  She works as a secretary for a company making over $50k/year.  When we met she was deeply in debt to the tune of $105k for credit cards and about $300k for real-estate for a total debt load of $405k.  With her other assets she is about $200k in the black.  Not good at all, her liabilities really offset her otherwise considerable assets.  And she is only a secretary with no education, which is interesting. At her rate of burning through her finances she would have been broke long before she was able to retire had I not taught her how to fix her situation.  Now she is in a much better financial position and she has been able to retain 90% of her assets while reducing her considerable liabilities.  I was happy to assist her in the off chance I ended up deciding to commit to her for the long term, but as it turned out I would need her help in the future.

She apparently slept with all the right men until she met me. All of the other men made good money at their jobs.  I even saw a past email she wrote to a friend where she boasted that four men she was dating consecutively all made over $100k/yr.  When I read this her real intentions became crystal clear to me.

Between business challenges and my wife leaving me I was both an emotional and financial wreck.  I sold some assets to barely live off of for the first year.  It was hard and things got shut off from time to time but I made it.  I will admit she did help me out in small ways, but never in a way that would have alleviated any of the considerable pressure I was under at the time.  When she ended the relationship, at a time I REALLY needed her help, she stated very clearly that, “if I am with you I would feel obligated to help you, so in order for me to not feel this obligation I have decided to end this relationship between us”.  She also stated afterwards, “I feel guilty about doing this, so can you just tell me it’s ok, (for being a bitch -my thoughts) so I won’t feel so bad about this?”  I cannot even comment on the selfishness of her words and how her hamster must be running at light speed.  She also mumbled something about all the other men wearing her out.  I think I chuckled at that. I know that it was a nuclear shit test in the order of 100 megatons.  This one was even bigger than the ones she gave about me banging younger woman because she is too old and how I blew off her concerns about the woman I fucked a couple of times during our most recent break up.  The only way I could have diffused this one was when I told her that I am fine with her leaving if she was that selfish and really trying to meaning it.  Either way, I failed in defusing that particular bomb.  I am now indifferent to her, which may even make her want to come back to me, unfortunately.  I had to call her last night (about 3 days after breakup) for some information she had that I needed and I was pretty well indifferent to her.  She asked how I was doing, feigning concern, and I flatly told her I was doing well (I am honestly) and I was hustling up more work.  I never asked how she was doing, nor did I particularly care to be honest.  She did however make it clear she was alone on a Saturday night.  I figured she would be out mining for men again, but I think she mentioned something about her going back to online dating in the spring which is mating season after all.

I will be more diligent of assuming a more amused mastery in my future relationships because ALL WOMEN ARE IN FACT JUST LIKE HER and women do not have any empathy for a man’s problems.  She had to make she also told me she always had money to pay for her stuff, and “she liked her nice stuff”.  Maybe that’s how she managed to burn through so much of her money on just bullshit with nothing of any real value to show.  Her shit test was her hamster validating her rationalizations for leaving me because she did not want to loan me $1000.  That was all I needed and she had the money.  I would have paid her back in 60 – 90 days and I offered her sufficient collateral for this loan.  I hated even having to ask her for this loan for my own egotistical reasons, but if she did loan me the money it would have saved me a bunch of grief.

She never had to struggle financially even when her finances were pretty well fucked before I formulated the plan for her to get out of her pretty dire situation which helped save her ass from impending financial doom.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Like her, most women who are currently or were in the past subsidized by a man (or several men) will refuse to help the man in her life when and should he need it either with physical work and her time or financial help, especially if it would require that she went without a comfort item for a short period of time like buying a new piece of equipment for her hobby.  Women seem to have no moral imperative to do what would be considered right or selfless by men’s standards. I have a friend, who if I asked for his help, he would help even possibly to his own detriment, because he is a good friend and he is knows I would do the same for him. I have FINALLY learned to NEVER ask a woman for help.  Even if I have to sell my ass, it is better than asking for a woman’s assistance on anything in life.  Just to be clear I have no intention of selling my ass or becoming a homo, it was only an example.

This essay might sound whiny and yes, I am bitching about her fucked up thinking, but she really illuminated some very important issues and she showed me who she really is as a person and proved to me that modern women are in fact really fucked up. Her actions and words were very clear and convincing evidence that women don’t suffer like men, a woman will not help a man even if she could because just by virtue of the man needing her help reduces or eliminates his attractiveness to her and no woman want to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions.

I realized that I never intended to be with her long term because I was seeing her as more and more undesirable by the day.  I knew I could and would do so much better as soon as I got on my feet again and pulled my head out of my ass.  She was too old, had way too many cocks, was an alpha widow and in the end argumentative and domineering.  Her pussy was fun but in the end that’s about all she brought to the table.  As it turns out the best thing happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates dammit.

Please comment if any of you have seen similar situations happen.  I am interested in hearing your stories.

By: MonkeyWerks

For the most part they do suck for relationships and everything else a woman SHOULD be good for such as companionship, sex, being helpful, etc.  Dealing with my impending divorce and the end of a 1+ year relationship I am mad at myself for not realizing this sooner, but I have finally come to grips with this fact.  It is because of this I will likely not seek any type of committed relationship with one in the future.  I saw this article on my blogroll and it made me think.

Some good points Matt Forney’s article:

AMERICAN WOMAN, STAY AWAY FROM ME

Loyal Confidant

In the past a man’s wife or mistress would buttress him with her powerful and feminine support. He could ask her advice on matters involving decisions where he needed counsel. Today’s American woman thinks she is on a reality sitcom, and anything you tell her will be shared with all of her friends and then filed away for use against you in the future when you have worn out your usefulness. This is a result of her insatiable hunger for attention. Women are natural gossips, but with the rise of feminist laws that make divorce economically in her best interest combined with this relatively new social phenomenon of attention whoring, you can bet that you are not her number one priority.

In the past a woman knew that when her husband rose in stature, she and the family did too, but now she will be regarded as a Strong, Independent Woman™ for divorce-raping you. When a culture celebrates single motherhood as a woman being brave when in reality she’s just dropping her kids off at her parents and partying with her girlfriends on child support wages, you as a man aren’t anything more than an interchangeable provider. Compare that with some of the sweetest, most feminine girls I met in the Philippines, where I would sit and write and girls would rub my shoulders, ask about my life, and make a sincere effort to comfort me. Western women look at these girls as if they’re stupid and misguided, yet few American women have a successful relationship in the course of their lives.

We know that due to the feminine imperative and hypergamy, American women in general are selfish vile creatures.  In the beginning of my marriage I would ask my ex wife her counsel on matters that I thought her perspective might have been useful.  I tried this with another woman I was recently seeing.  In both cases and in both cases either the advice they gave was terribly flawed or they tried to steer me on a path that would provide them with provisioning to the detriment of my happiness and long term goals.  It is interesting that Matt brings up the fact that American woman have such long histories of mostly failed relationships.

Ability to Manage a Household

Today’s “independent” woman doesn’t give a damn about this. She is more interested in her own career, which is understandable on the surface of things until you consider the types of careers women choose. You will not find many female engineers or doctors. If you do they will be “civil” engineers (the ones with the least specialization) or general practitioners (again, the doctors with the least specialization). Of course, when feminist writers talk about the wage gap between men and women, they make no distinction between a mechanical or chemical engineer (who is much more rigorously trained) or an orthopedic surgeon (ditto), but that is off-topic.

The bottom line is that women think they have no reason to support their husbands, because you are viewed as a companion that serves her, not someone she’s supposed to help aspire to greatness.

It’s funny and yet sad that I still have yet to meet a woman who can cook as well as me.  I had to teach my ex wife to cook, clean and, and well she never did learn how to fuck.  They think that somehow hamburger helper is cooking.  This seems to be the same with most other women I have met.  Tell an American woman that her cooking sucks and watch the steam rise from their ears as they try to convince you that meal from a box was good and nutritious.

Charm and Grace

In days past, a man would have his friends and colleagues over for coffee, dinner, or perhaps poker. His wife would be the consummate host: looking pretty for him was her priority; she would accept compliments on her dress or dinner with a grace that complimented her husband; she would deflect comments that were too forward with a politeness that would leave the speaker feeling ashamed for stepping out of place. The girls I dated in Vietnam were all like this. One girl, Chau, would even insist on viewing every bill after dinner to make sure I didn’t pay too much. She would go get beers for THC and me. It was so refreshing. She only wanted to spend as much of the short time I had there with me.

Today’s American woman is as crass and crude as any man. Regularly speaking in vulgarities that would make sailors of an earlier era blush, today’s Western females can’t even be bothered to put on makeup before going out during the day. A recent conversation with a girl really drove home the point. I was talking to a girl whose parents were Russian, but she herself had been raised in America. She had just recently returned from her first visit to the country and was telling me about how “awful” it was there. Her narrative was so laced with the word “like” that I had to force myself to listen. Her biggest complaint was that one morning when her cousins were going to take her to do some sightseeing, they all woke up relatively early, and she donned her sandals, put her hair in a ponytail and adorned herself with a baseball cap. With self-righteous indignation, she described how her female cousin came to her, took off her baseball cap and said “You are not a man, go change and look like a woman.”

Women in less Westernized countries take pride in their appearance. They want to look pretty for their men and they want them to be pleased with how they look. They’re usually much more fit and they take care of themselves. When I was at the beach in Boracay, I was looking at the local girls so thin and gorgeous, and then right next to them were these land whales from Australia (comparable to the US in terms of fattitude). It turned my stomach.

Feminine Beauty

American women today dress like prostitutes of the past. They regularly go out without any money with the sole purpose of soliciting free drinks. They go in groups with their friends and hang around men who have paid for tables in hopes of being invited over, drink as much for free as they can, and the go to the next table.

American women have gotten to the point of insanity with their sense of entitlement. They expect doors to be held open and dinner to be paid for, ridicule men for not being gentlemen and complain about inequality, all while demanding more and more; yet they don’t offer the slightest hint of ladylike grace or value.

Only a fool that would marry one of these creatures. There is almost no way to combat this beast. American women, manginas and white knights will talk about how my views are from the Stone Age and how women deserve equal rights. And I agree, they do deserve equality, I never said they didn’t, but that means divorce is equal.

I think women should willingly do what I’ve said.

Not because they are forced to.

Consider this: more and more men are being clinically treated for mental disorders and depression than ever before. Over half of American women are prescribed antidepressants.

I guess it is no surprise when my ex wife admitted to me that she agreed to our first date because she wanted a free meal.  Too bad I had already married her.  Add that to her overall and extreme entitlement attitude of “GOD SAID I DESERVE HAPPINESS” she learned in her church and it’s no wonder she left when my income was reduced.  The woman I was recently seeing is the same way except she is 45 years old, has hit the wall and hard, never married without any children.  Her hamster runs a light speed rationalizing how she never wanted kids in the first place and how she was just sooo busy with worthless activities that she has had nothing but failed relationship s in her life and few friends.

I feel like shit most days.  Everything from the pain from my wife leaving me and how I don’t see my kids enough to meeting and kind of falling for another woman soon after that turned out to be worse than my ex wife in many ways.  Add to that the serious financial challenges I am enduring and I see my life as shit.  I find it hard not to just want to lay down and not wake up, but I will wake up and get up and thrive.  It just sucks going through the process.  As most men dealing with these same common issues, we have to go through the healing in order to become the better man on the other side.  And like me bad, ill behaves and rebellious feminist woman were the catalyst for many of our problems.  I have been abandoned in my only two greatest time of need by the two women who wanted my all but were unwilling to give anything of themselves to a man.  Some people may see me blaming these women for all my problems I take full responsibility for my own screw ups, but when a man and woman are SUPPOSEDLY in a committed and loving relationship the couple is supposed to help each other. So for my detractors I will tell you to fuck off.  I am just giving credit where credit is due.

Carpe Diem

If you believe as I do—that men and women are different in more ways than just “their parts”—it’s pretty obvious to me that the feminist myth that men and women are the same has caused women to reject their natural femininity and become masculine. This has led men to become more feminine to try and ingratiate themselves in some attempt at equilibrium in this now socially synthetic environment.

There is no way to stop this social development; you’re better off getting your things and leaving for greener pastures. Men, I’m telling you from personal experience that there are still many many wonderful women out there that were raised in traditional gender roles that will be some of the best people you ever meet.

The only thing you have to do is break free of the Matrix, stop pedestalizing these monsters, and go see the rest of the non-Western world. But that’s an article for another time.

Carpe diem!

There are good woman overseas.  I have met many of them and had sex with them when I was in the Marines.  Their families are cool and it is these women who are the last bastion of proper femininity.  American women are truly monsters as Matt states.  Most men have experienced this, unfortunately only a few of us have the balls to talk about it.

And of course from Roosh

http://www.rooshv.com/10-reasons-why-heterosexual-men-should-leave-america
 

 

By: MonkeyWerks

It is because they can’t, although they want to.  That’s why.  Even the married Christian men are not getting pussy from their wives.  That was the bill of goods sold me in church.  I was promised a lot of sexy times in my sanctified marriage.  I have learned that that was total BS.  Don’t believe me, then why is porn supposedly so rampant with Churched™ men and why do married men need porn so much?  It is because their wives simply refuse to have sex to them.  These men are also not doing what is necessary to make their wives sexually attracted to them, I will admit.  The Church™ ironically teaches these men to do the exact opposite of what would make their wives positively sexually aroused by them.

I have a good friend that when we talk about banging women, or more accurately the woman I am banging,  he always tells me his morals don’t allow him to pump and dump sluts, or engage with multiple woman at a time.  He rationalizes that his morals will not allow him to engage in such behavior.  He is MGTOW not by choice, but by circumstances. I try to tell him red pill truths but he will argue with me and rationalize these truths away using the very shaming language the feminists do, but the real reason is that he cannot meet women to bang because he lacks self confidence and Game and refuses to understand the principals involved.

He is one of the nice guys that’s has gotten fucked over by every woman he was involved with.  He has told me several times that no woman would want a 50 year old fat and balding man who is broke, and he is probably right, to some extent, but how to the similarly situated alphas bang the woman they do? He has owns his own business, but as like many small business owners he has been through some tough times.  I know hypergamy is a cruel master of all women.  It just sucks that he is in this position.  Will he find happiness and peace without a woman?  I hope he does, but I don’t think he will.  I say this because he wants a woman.  Most men honestly do.  He just is unwilling to do the work to reinvent himself to be in the position to attract the women we wants.

Recently he argued with me about the SMV of men and woman.  He thinks an older woman has the same value as a similar aged man in the SMP and the MMP.  I tried to explain the difference in SMV in the SMP, but he wouldn’t listen.   In fact he tongue lashed me with sever anger, which I stoically let him vent before continuing undeterred.  He is also was very firm on his belief that dating should lead to marriage.  I will mention more on that issue below.  He denigrated me when I told him I would never marry an older woman or a woman who has had more than 1 other sexual partner; if I was even to remarry.  He brought up the forgiveness factor for (reformed sluts), which when I explained the science behind sluts being unable to pair bond and the statistics showing how a woman’s number of sexual partners negatively affect her ability to remain married for life became quite angry telling me stats are meaningless, and went on to explain if you make a decision to not be a statistic you won’t be one, which of course is absurd when considering such important issues as marriage.  I patiently reminded him that statistics are cold hard facts that don’t lie.  This is a problem I see all of the time debating with TradCon’s.  They are so invested in their ideologies they are unable to look past them and then they use these same ideologies as excuses for their failures.

On the issue of marriage Dalrock’s post on boyfriends and Donal Graeme’s post on courting explain the current state of affairs (dating) even with traditional and Christian women.  The behaviors accompanying these social conventions preclude many of these women from even being marriage material.  When considering that all woman use the same program to find husbands, their families uselessness, the issue of female hypergamy and the feminine imperative that has become a cancer in the Church™ it is not hard to conclude that unless a young Christian man marries a young Christian woman who is a virgin about the age of 18-21, he is screwed or not screwed, depending how you see things.  Furthermore, if you are not willing to be the man in your marriage, you don’t deserve a good one and deserve the ass raping you will get in divorce court.  Don’t be this type of man.

Sex is a need and it is up to the man to put himself in the best situation to fill that need as morally and as in line with God’s word as possible.  I will leave it up to you to decide if premarital sex is a necessity in this present day due to the general and unfavorable marriage market that is presented to men.  Personally, I came to the realization that there is no shame in having premarital sex under the current system.  The article Why Christian men don’t deserve virgins says it crudely. The message Christian women are receiving is the same nevertheless?  They are learning in Church™ that there is no shame for being a slut and that Christian men are obligated to marry them once they ask for forgiveness for their lifetime of whorish behaviors.  Here are two more article here and here that you should read.  You don’t want to be the only virgin in the room when all the women have had enough cock to outfit a football team.  That fact will defiantly not get you laid or a wife.  As for saving yourself for marriage, I don’t think men should worry about their virginity as much.  It is far more important for a woman to be a virgin than a man for many reasons.  It seems that most of the sexual dysfunction comes from the actual teachings about sex than the fact the woman is a virgin.  See here also.  I have not guilt for my extensive sexual dalliances pre marriage.

I see a very common, but yet extremely dangerous mindset prevalent with Christian men I speak too.  All devout Christian men I have spoken to about sex, marriage, dating and women in general all say the essentially same things.  They tell me that I should “sacrifice” myself for my wife regardless of her behavior towards me.  They tell me if I do this my wife will then respect me.  They of course conveniently never mention the other issue of biblical submission. Of course I bring up that the bible states that the wife should submit to and respect her husband first, as the bible clearly states that is the order for this dynamic to operate.  To further explain this, a young woman growing up should be respectful and generally submissive to all of the men in her family, such as her father and brothers.  This is evidenced when exploring gender dynamics in scripture, from Sara to Mary.  I also tell these same men that nowhere in scripture does God command men to sacrifice themselves for women.  We are commanded to love our wife like Christ loved the church and take care of them like we would ourselves.  Dying to self for the sole benefit of our wife or any woman for that matter is unbiblical and silly. Therefore, this mindset creates the favorable conditions for a wife to control and lead her husband contrary to scripture.  This is the common problem we see in the feminized Church™ of today.  Most Christian men are simply submissive and controlled by their domineering wives.  Even my ex tried that shit with me far too often, twisting the scriptures as she was taught to do for her own gain and to further her feminine imperative.  It did not work of course, but her feminist beliefs compelled her to nuke our marriage anyways.  It goes against common sense and biblical dictum for the Church™ to actually promote to Christian men to marry these LINE THROUGH sluts reformed virgins, such as this one who is just like my brothers fiancé.  I know there is a very small minority of Christian men who are awesome alphas that run their families with love and firmness, but let’s face it, most Christian men are pussies and they are utterly supplicating to their domineering and controlling wives.  They will defend their ego driven ideology by saying that they are emulating Christ, but Jesus was not weak, nor was he ever powerless.  My ex told me once that she heard in Church™ “The man is the head of the family, but the woman is the neck that turns the head”.  That was an entirely circular statement negating the man’s real headship of his family and giving the power to the wife.  That is just an example of the stealthy indoctrination that is occurring and no Christian man I ever met would ever speak up against such crap, let alone even notice such bullshit spewing forth from no other than a female preacher’s ass (mouth).  The truth is if the typical Christian man did in fact grow some balls and spoke up against this crap to his wife she would stop giving him those patronizing back circles in Church™ and his bi-monthly allowance of sex would be cut off.

Women all want to portray the Strong Independent Woman persona.  My ex wife made a point to make clear to me she was this way when we met up until she left me.  Her leaving was just the end result of her mindset and indoctrination.  She became angry at me for demanding we change Churches for how I say that their teachings were not only unbiblical but how those teachings were destructive to our marriage.  During our discussion I was filled with righteous anger about the garbage spewing from her mouth and told her so, but her anger at my questioning her consistent desire to control our family and lead it to ruin was quite baffling at the time.  But instead of her being able to communicate about this issue in a calm mature way, she decided nuking our family was the best course of action, for her.  What was likely also churning in her mind was her revulsion for a recent business failure I had to endure.  As I was taking the corrective actions and dealing with the particular challenges that were presented to me, it was very apparent the whole episode thoroughly disgusted her.  This was one of the rare times I really needed her to understand and just love and help me help our family get through these hard yet temporary challenges.  This was a test of our marriage and our abilities to work as a team and she failed miserably.  With her help we would have made it through this time fairly well, without our problems were multiplied, especially mine.  However all I received from her was contempt.  The lesson learned was Hypergamy is a cruel task master.  It was during this time I started to doubt my entire marriage experience and my entire belief system..

It is time to fully boycott the Church™ and refuse to finance this direct attack against our masculinity and our marriages.  I wish I could recommend targeting these men for some serious red pill wisdom, but their indoctrination with the fem-centric church and the fear of their wives is strong, likely too strong I am afraid.

All women say they want nice guys, but they don’t really want them because nice guys do not dampen their panties like the alphas do.  Women will treat the nice guys like shit, they always have and they always will.  Women are actually easy to understand.  These rules apply to Christian and secular women alike.  All women respond to the same cues God inserted into their firmware.  It’s the men who are too lazy or who just plain refuse to learn how women think who seem to do the most complaining.  Also, if you look close at them these same men lack any real power in their lives over many aspects of their lives.  Meeting and having sex with any woman that you want is only a part of a successful and enriched life.  God wanted us to live to our full potential for His glory.  He gave us our individual gifts, why do men squander them and live life only half way?

Women who are worth a commitment will usually get one from a decent man.  The problem is that the Church™ and other Christian woman will get in the way of any marriage by teaching women everything they need to know to screw their marriage up.  The only logical conclusion to have is to avoid Christian women in general for anything more than a fuck toy.  It is like they are virgins anyways.

In the end my extensive experience with various Churches™ and Christians in general, specifically my devout ex wife has left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth and has affected my own Christian walk in ways that have left my faith shattered if not completely broken.  Maybe it was my own fathers absence that cause me too often stumble in my walk with God, and like me, my daughters are likely to suffer the same fate.  When my daughters become more self aware and are able to reason such things out, they will come to learn that their mother’s Church™ and her core religious and feminist beliefs were a major contributor to the failure of their parent’s marriage and the subsequent breakup of our family.  I no longer have the spiritual or emotional energy to spiritually lead my children.  Frankly I just no longer care if my children believe in the bible or believe in a more relativistic ideology, and based upon the constant twisting of the scriptures, the feminization of the Church™, and the Churches™ total unwillingness to hold Christian women accountable for their actions, I cannot in good conscience promote Christianity as a valid and positive belief system.  Also the Church™ refuses to temper and correct Christian women’s feral nature and unrealistic expectations.  Therefore, I see no future benefit with either myself or my children’s continued affiliation with either a Church™ organization or individuals specifically because of their belief in Christ.  My story is very common.  Maybe my attitudes will change and maybe they will persist.  Only time and Gods will tell.

Edit: Further Reading:

Reframing Christian marriage
Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.
Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.
Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.
Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

 

By: MonkeyWrench

The reason why this is simply because when I met her and then married her I thought we would be together forever.  As inexplicable as it sounds I loved her from the beginning even though I was spinning plates, a term I learned in sales and reinforced in the manosphere.  Through thick or thin I thought she and I would always be a team.  I guess I should have though the whole marriage thing through a bit more and realized our marriage was bound to fail.  She was a hot (HB 8) 19 year old when we met.  I married her a couple of years later and for the 13 years we were together I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me.  I thought I would always feel like this about her and for the most part I have, even today I see her in this light, although I try hard not to.  Maybe this was because of my love for her combined with her general attractiveness and our time together.  However, one mindset I had to change when we married was my habit of looking at flaws in my previous girlfriends.  Although I did not have a term for it then, it was my anti-pedestalization of my former girlfriends.  I knew this was one thing I had to change from my previous behaviors in order to enable a more lifetime monogamous mindset.  I put on my wife goggles; nonetheless I refused to put her on a pedestal, even though I did not concentrate on her flaws.  Unfortunately she did the complete opposite, as women seem to do more than they do not.  She concentrated on my flaws, and when she left she had such a list I am sure she was writing them down somewhere throughout our entire marriage.  I just needed her to want me, so I could want her in the way I needed to.  She wanted to control me and she used sex and my attraction to her to do this.  It was like I had a hot wife who would never let me touch her.

I was 7 years older than her and that was a benefit I thoroughly enjoyed.  I would even speculate we were both at our peak physical attractiveness at the time, but do to my business and higher than average income my SMV was higher but averaged to be the same as her SMV after I joined the marines and my income went to almost nothing.

Dalrock explains that he, like me finds his wife just as beautiful as when they married.  As men, like many others, our love for our wives grew over the years, even while our wives objective beauty lessened, just not to us.  This is how it should be with husbands concerning their wives, as long as our wives makes some effort to stay fit and healthy, as mine did.  We do not see the effects on our wives bodies by having our babies.  We see it as the love they have for us and our children.  I think of my wife’s youth and her formerly tight body as her gift to me so we could have our family.  I always tried to honor her with this mindset.  I was blind to any of her physical imperfections and even today I have a hard time seeing them, although I know objectively they are there.  What I saw every time I looked at her, is the pretty young face I fell in love with originally.  Unfortunately, she threw this all away when she decided to throw away our marriage.

I tried to give my wife the best of me, and my best was in fact good enough.  Even though I screwed up a bunch in our marriage, as did she, I made a commitment to her in front of God that I would never leave her, and I would not have unless she was banging another man.  That is one indiscretion I will not forgive with any woman.

I will always have her youth and her peak fertility.  That is something no other man will ever get from her, she does not have another youth after all.  My replacement will only get stretch marks, saggy tits, and her now flat ass.  And we cannot forget the attitude and the extra emotional baggage along with her diminished sexual responses.  I must honestly admit though that she will stay attractive for her age group for several more years, at least when considering the attractiveness of her mother for her age.  I figure within her age group she will maintain a (6-7) rating until at least 40 if she keeps the weight off, which for her does require some working out a few days a week.

It is so important that woman marry when they are young.  I cannot stress enough that any self respecting man should not marry an older woman after she hits The Wall.  Those few years at her peak hotness is so vitally important for us men to look back to with happiness when the results of the children she bore can be seen and our wives age, at times not so well.  As men we generally will remain faithful and committed for life to the wives of our youth.  This can be seen in current divorce statistics where men are much less likely to initiate divorce or the destruction of the marriage.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

EDIT: Even after more than 18 months I still find myself comparing every attractive blond to my her.  I hope I will stop doing this soon.

 

By: MonkeyWerks

I wish my father explained theses things better to me.  In fact I am going to write a list for a future article on what my father should have taught me but didn’t.  This lesson I never received bit me in the ass hard.  Vox wrote this article that illustrated the importance of this lesson.

Women fall into two different categories for most men, who we will fuck and who we will fuck and then marry.  Most men will fuck any woman who is above a HB5 depending on circumstances, which is most women, so having a “will not fuck” list for a man is immaterial.

My beautiful ex wife was an HB8 to me, tall blonde and blue, just the way I like them.   As it turned out, on the surface she had the looks and the attitude for being a good wife for life, but in reality should have been on the bang list only.  She was a hardcore feminist and dressed in ways that were generally not feminine and were also not slutty like many of the woman I was meeting time.  Very rarely did I see her in dresses or any sexy clothes, and even now she refuses to wear a sun dress in the summer, but that may change as she hunts for a new chump husband.  Unfortunately, I took her manner of dress to mean she was not a slut like so many of the attractive young women I was meeting.  Instead she was all the way opposite and had no idea what it meant to be a real feminine woman, nor was she taught any other traditional values or domestic skills.  I must have thought at the time that she would be more faithful, which in a way she might have been because I don’t think she was sexually unfaithful during our marriage, but I will never know for certain.  She was just not faithful in the other ways that also mattered.

The lesson is that looks matter to us men for the initial attraction but it is how a woman acts in general that will mitigate even her very good looks and lower her MMV.  As my wife looked like she was much less of a slut than her sister feminists, she did give it up on the 3rd date as I expected her to do.  In her defense I did pull out all of the stops in my seductions.  She never had a chance.  However, it was then that I should have downgraded her to the bang list.  Her becoming more feminine never materialized and as our marriage dragged on she became less and less like the good and sexy wife of my youth and more of our typical, yet still reasonably attractive radical feminists Christians. It really started to go downhill for her and us when she added a bunch of her Church™ nonsense into the mix of her identity.

Dalrock’s comment was quite interesting:

I look forward to the series. One thing which strikes me about the topic is the flip side to the fact that women can bang higher SMV men than they can marry, and that is that men can (generally) marry higher SMV women than they can bang. The first is pretty universally recognized in the sphere, but I don’t see the latter discussed. One corroborating data point is how often a man’s mistress is of a lower SMV than his wife, especially if the wife is still young. (I have always heard that your mistress should always be less attractive than your wife.  I would hope Dalrock or someone could elaborate more on this piece of advice and its origins). ROM

I figured my wife had a lower SMV than I when we met, and we were about even when we married.  She was hot, educated and had a low partner count, from what I have been told at least.  I was attractive and was making good money and owned a business when we met, but joined the Marines soon after September 11, and my income and options went to shit for 4 years.

How the women look and act in the very beginning will help you determine which list to put her on.  She may go from the Bride list to the Bang list, but rarely do they get promoted to Bride from Bang.  As I like to say, trust your gut.  It is rarely wrong.  If your initial feeling was Bang list then keep her there.  Remember, you can’t turn a whore into a housewife.  You will tank me and Vox for it later.

Read this article about doing a Gut Check and trusting your instincts.