Posts Tagged ‘financial freedom’

Christianity has become extremely feminized over the last 20 years or so and I would say that the women a man would meet in church are worse marriage material than the women he would normally meet in the secular world.  Churched women have an unrealistically high sense of entitlement that would be difficult for any man to satisfy, Christian or not.   And of course as a man you will receive a constant barrage of “Man Up” and “men bad- women good” messages, with some twisted scriptures thrown in for an illusion of credibility.  As for me, I have an evangelical protestant background from when I started attending church on my own in my early 20’s but I was not brought up in any church.   The following are mostly from my own personal observations.  I no longer attend Church nor will I ever again.

You have 3 types of women in church:

  1. The actual virgins are looking for the perfect husband and are often so deluded with lists so long that only Christ himself would qualify as good enough to pop her holy cherry. Many of the young women in this group seem to turn their virginity into a type of idolatry.  It seems that God turns out to be the biggest cock block for those men with enough guts to approach these girls.  I say guts because with these young women it will be like traversing a battlefield with the prize of her pure untouched punanni on the other side.  You will just have to hope and pray (and trust her word, lol) that she wasn’t giving up anal sex and blowjobs in an effort to save her pussy for marriage so she could “technically” still be a virgin.  Of course the average churched young man would need to have every qualification on her 463 bullet point list and need to put a ring on her finger before you can get into her panties.  Just remember that these same women have been promised in all of her church groups, in the sermons she heard and from the elders women that their virginity is so valuable and the sex will be so good in marriage that these women on that faithful night will expect nothing less than the planets aligning, the seas parting and little birds singing as they sit on the windowsill.  Unfortunately it is unlikely that she will even reach orgasm that first night and if her new husband is also a virgin they will have quite a bit of a learning curve to deal with.  The worse things these women could do is marry a man who is a virgin himself.  I think it would be best if these young women married men who were considerably older and more experienced than them as was the norm for most of human civilization.  Only an older experienced man has the hand to deal with these entitlement princesses.  Her virginity would only be partial payment for the work he would have to do with her.  However no modern church would ever condone such a thing.  Some of these women will never learn to settle for a real man when compared to the imaginary prince she envisions, and will end up the 30 year old spinster virgin who has lost whatever looks she had and her fertility window.  Many of these women have an unrealistic vision in their heads of what they think they deserve because God said that they are the princess’s to the His Kingdom.  It’s sad to think of all of the good men they ended up disregarding out of hand because of these expectations.  This woman will still need to be gamed hard by her husband because her entitlement monkey will be strong in her.

 

  1. Now we have the born again sluts who rode the carousel hard and are so screwed up biologically, mentally and emotionally that any man who dates (or God forbid, marry) them is in for a world of hurt, torment and self doubt. (Yes, I have seen this many times). I will say this in case you didn’t figure it out from the previous sentence; NO RINGS FOR SLUTS! Period.  The singles ministries are full of them.  They can fake being good girls but an observant man can pick out these women.  You can always go to the Sunday morning nightclub and score with these women where they outnumber the men significantly, but do not marry them.  These women have low impulse control regardless of their new found faith and only the strongest of alpha’s will be able to hold her down (at least temporarily) in what would likely only end up only being a semi monogamous relationship.  For any guy with Game trying to score with these women they are perfect pickings.  Just don’t marry them.  I have even seen men in church have a harem of these types of women in the same church, although this is very rare because most churches will kick such a guy out quickly.  Another thing with these women is that the church will never hold them accountable.

 

  1. Then you have the old housewives who although may stay at home, home school and all of that, you can tell just by meeting them briefly that they are overbearing harpies and all of their husbands are incurable beta chumps who behind the masks of the “yes dears” are utterly miserable. These women will support women’s preferred type of sexual promiscuity, serial monogamy.  They will make sure that men are adequately shamed for such infraction such as dating much younger women and those who do not tow the modern trad-con line.   It is these women that either directly work with church leaders to drive out good alpha Christian men or create the environment where good alpha men will not come to church.  These women will often try to make sure certain rules are followed in order to give other Christian women moral cover for their bad decisions and lack of discretion.  These same women are the ones raising and teaching these younger women in the church how to get what they think they are entitled too.  It is bad that they refuse to follow and heed God’s words in the matter.

 

The modern church will also ruin a good woman.  Yes, those women do exist in very small numbers.  In all good conscience I would never take my daughters or any woman I am in a relationship with to any modern church.  Now good churches do exist, but they are few and far between.  The good ones won’t have rock bands or child ministries or any of that “new” stuff.  The best type of worship services are held in someone’s living room.  But because the pastors of these churches are usually still beta white knights and total mangina’s I am still given pause.  Either way these good women will be negatively influenced by their Christian sisters and that is never a good thing.  In reality Christian women are not looking for a Christian man to marry so they can be a good wife to him and mother to his children, no, they are looking for a man to worship them like she worships herself.

 

See Also:

Reframing Christian marriage

Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.

Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.

Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.

Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

The Typical Christian Woman’s List

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How many times have we seen our friends move in with a woman or have their girlfriends move in with them and then later the relationship always fails and your friend is worse off than if he had not lived with his girlfriend?  I see this all of the time.

But it gets worse for men who live with their girlfriends.  Now we have some interesting data that living with a woman is worse for your health than living alone.

Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Figure 1. Percentage of men aged 18–64 with at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Regardless of age, married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Men aged 45–64 (79.6%) were more likely than men aged 18–44 (64.1%) to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months. However, the association of marriage and cohabitation with men’s use of health care was generally consistent regardless of age. Among both age groups, men who were married were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year. Cohabiting men were less likely than other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year (Figure 2).

Figure 2. Percentage of men aged 18–64 who had at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by age and marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have received recommended clinical preventive services in the past 12 months.

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends that, on a regular basis, all adults have their blood pressure checked, men aged 35 and over have their blood cholesterol checked, and adults with hypertension be screened for type 2 diabetes (3). Marriage and cohabitation were both related to men’s receipt of these clinical preventive services. Among men for whom the service was recommended, receipt of each service was more likely for those who were married than for those who were cohabitating or not married. Cholesterol and diabetes screenings were less likely for cohabiting men than for other not-married men (Figure 4).

db154_fig4

Summary

Married men were more likely than not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past 12 months. This association was observed for both younger and older men, but only among men with health insurance. When men have the means to access health care, spouses may play a role in their use of health care by directly encouraging men to seek preventive care and by indirectly evoking in men a sense of economic and social obligation to the family (1,2).

The results suggest that cohabiting partners do not play a similar health-promoting role. Compared with both married men and other not-married men, cohabiting men were less likely to have had a health care visit. They were also less likely to have had selected clinical preventive services in the past 12 months, including blood pressure checks and screenings for elevated cholesterol and diabetes. In fact, cohabiting men are a group particularly at risk of not receiving clinical preventive services recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. Only about one-half of men in this group for whom cholesterol and diabetes screenings are recommended had received these screenings in the past 12 months.

Summary and charts from the CDC:

So what does all of this tell us?  Married men are usually encouraged by their wives to take better care of themselves and go to the doctor for preventative health care services.  Single men living alone are less likely to go to the doctors but still they seek out preventative medicine in substantial numbers.  For men who cohabitate with a woman they are the least likely to go to the doctors for preventative medicine and they take care of themselves the least.  It seems that they are less healthy overall than both married and single men living alone.

Looking at this as a social dynamic, I speculate that the women these men live with care much less about them than a wife would.  Living with a woman is so much different than living with your wife (who you did not live with previous to marriage) for a variety of reason.  There is a subconscious dynamic that although it initially may be hard to see, it is there.  Not only will you be less healthy but you will be less happy overall.  There is never a good reason to live with a girlfriend.  Just ask yourself what are the benefits that you cannot get living alone, with male roommates, or even just marrying her?  Will she appreciate you more?  Will you have more and better sex?  Will your girlfriend whom you agreed to live with love you more?

I think the worst thing a man could do is live with a woman and then marry her.  The dynamics involved will almost certainly assure that not only will the marriage ultimately fail but the marriages that do in fact succeed (in relative terms) the man will be more miserable overall.  In these situations such as this the man becomes preconditioned by the faulty premise of the previous cohabitation dynamic.  Thus the merging of the different dynamics from cohabitation to then marriage is such that most men are powerless to navigate the minefield of a woman’s hypergamy and solipsism.  Maybe she really loves you and wants to always be around you.  That is fine, but remember, the anxiety she may feel when you two are not together is the same emotion that helps keeps her attracted to you.  When you agreeing to live with her you take away that anxiety and you lose your power and most importantly room to maneuver and you might die sooner.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

Empowered Strong Independent Women™ will scream that its just a number.  Well, when your dealing with numbers you have to do the math.  Right?  The video below puts a funny spin on how many miles of cock a woman will take by the time she is ready to settle down with Mr. Right or more correctly Mr. Good Enough.  Let’s all say it out loud “Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks.

One thing Terry failed to address in the video is that the men described in the article are probably Alphas in their own ways and they likely are the ones rejecting (for long term relationships and marriage) the women that follow this mating strategy.

I am working on several essays that deal with the issue of why most men don’t want to marry promiscuous women.

I’m a car guy so I’m going to use a car analogy.  In some cases I will pay top dollar for a newer rare hard to find car with low mileage, such as a SRT-8 Challenger, however I will never pay more than getto-ride price for any generic car with over 120,000 miles.  I see men all of the time paying full sticker price for cars (women) that have over 250,000 miles (or 500 miles of cock) on the clock.  These cars have knocking engines, the tires are bald, the seats are worn and the body is all too often banged up.

Watch the video below.  It explains a part of these issues using some math.  Also, follow this blog because the following essays will explain these issues in detail.

500 MILES OF MR. RIGHT

/\ For whatever reason I can’t embed this video properly so click on the link above. /\

By: MonkeyWerks

I was thinking about the frame the relationship was in.  Because of her stated reasons for ending the relationship were primarily financial, which was only a part of it, I thought I would delve deeper into the financial frame our that was set in our relationship.  To start financially I am in a pretty bad place, one that I have never been in before.  My challenges although seemingly complex can be dealt with but I just needed time, like in the neighborhood of 1-2 years to be back to where I was.

She made more money than me, a lot more actually.  I did not have a problem with and it did not make me feel inadequate by any means.  I felt that I would be where I wanted to be financially in a reasonable amount of time.

Although I was working at making sure I kept the correct frame to our relationship so it may succeed long-term,  I noticed that C was resisting that frame because of my lack of financial resources and her general resistance to any form of headship or leadership by a man.  I thought that what I was doing was correct because it would help to build happiness and contentment in our relationship.  About mid-point to our relationship we talked about being together long-term, living together and me running one of my business’s out of our new house.  She had the money to make it happen and I had the brains.  Neither of us could move forward without the other.  That was the reality of the situation, but it was win/win.  It was not the first thing I would have liked to do because it reduced some of my overall control over our relationship and I would have to Game her much harder and more consistently in order to maintain a high level of attraction and satisfy her hypergamous nature and inclinations.  This would have taken a huge amount of effort and that comfortable place in any relationship would never been experienced.  I do understand her need to feel secure in all respects but everything she did throughout her life and her decisions actually hurt her overall long-term security and happiness.  This was something I was attempting to help her avoid, and I now realize how White Knightish this mindset was.

I was willing to consider this option due to the time saved if I did something similar on my own.  She benefited by my knowledge and my commitment to her.  I would be giving her that last chance at a successful relationship if she did not fuck it up.  I benefited by making an environment where I could immediately start thriving and rebuilding what I had previously lost. I would also have had a good home environment for my two daughters, at least that was what I led myself to believe at the time.

She even brought up the idea of her having a child which I told her she was insane because she is waaaay to old and of course I noted her questionable past.  That might have been when I put the brakes on this plan.  She also wanted me to retire her in 2-3 years and pay over $14k/yr for the maintenance of her 2 horses.  It was the issue with her horses that ultimately caused the plan to fail in her mind.  See the article on women with horses and you will understand this better.

Even when my business was doing well, due to reoccurring expenses my take home pay was just a little over what was needed to live the basic yet good lifestyle my family and I lived at the time.  I took the remaining funds and reinvested them into the company in things such as new equipment and research and development.  I taught my ex-wife to clean like a Marine in the beginning of our marriage because she did not know how because I wasn’t going to clean the fucking house. I led her to set up a cleaning business when the opportunity presented itself.  I also taught her how to run such a business instead of just letting her sit on her ass and get fat.  The money she made from her business went into the household expenses.  This gave her something profitable to do and took some stress off of me.  The problem with this plan was that I did not control the money that was made.  I didn’t even check on her accounts often enough.  So my plans flaws encouraged her in some ways to not only become independent of me but it gave her that little bit of encouragement for her to break up the marriage when she saw fit to do so.

What I should have done was control the money she made and gave her an allowance as needed.  Now this brings up the issue with C.  C makes more money, she repeatedly stated I needed to make much more than her so she could become the dependant one and help me with my businesses.  What she really wanted to do was to quit her job and ride her horses all day.  She would often state that when a woman makes more than the man there are problems because it makes the man feel insecure. This might be true for a STHD or ultra beta maybe, but I did not feel threatened by this situation.  She was seeing my income level as not only a point of qualification for long-term provisioning but possibly as a means to justify to herself that entering my frame was ok.  One of her biggest fears by giving me control was that I would be unwilling to pay for her horses.  She would always tell me she felt that I would consider them “frivolous” expenses, which I did actually.  My thoughts were if the extra money was there and the effort to generate the funds were minimal I MIGHT not give a shit, but working by the hour, no fucking way was I going to waste $14k/yr on animals as a hobby or entertainment.  If she wanted her horses she would have to work and still pay half of the household expenses.  She is not young or hot enough to demand anything else.  I would always discuss with her options and plans but if a decision needed to be made, I would make regardless of how much she bitched about it, and I would never apologize for leading my household.  She did not like this and even if I was to pay for her horses the same problems would still be there and I would end up in her frame.  Much of our disagreements stemmed from her lip service to being a good submissive woman.  I knew deep down I could never Game her into submission because she was permanently fucked up and no amount of Game or alpha would fix that.

The only way things could have worked is if I controlled all the finances in the relationship regardless of who generated the majority of it.  I would also have to pretty much rule the roost in all other areas without question.  Although she made good money at her job, she was still irresponsible with her cash flow.  She paid a lot of taxes in her bracket by being single.  Her horses consumed about 30% of her income on average and although she could have lived quite comfortably on the rest she was still always cash poor, which I never understood.  She did have some non-liquid assets, but those assets were in large part originally generated by her now deceased first husbands (fiancé of 13 years) estate.  She stated that because she cook, clean, and ran the books for this man she helped build the estate, although it was his skills that actually built the companies he owned.  For example she was over $105k in consumer (credit card) debt when we met.  There was no reason for her to have generated this level of debt and although it is very common for single women in this day and age to have such large debt, the amount seemed far more than the norm to me.

I taught her a process to greatly reduce her debt and then eliminate it like a good white knight.  Just because I happened to be broke did not mean my mind was broke or that I did not have the skills to manage finances in a responsible way. Even though, I guess I failed in her eyes to “prove my worth” to her by not rebuilding my company up fast enough and by my desire to live a more simple life with greatly reduced expenses.  It’s all bullshit from her I realize, but I wanted to point this out.  I guess she figured that because she chose a career and animals over a man when she was younger that she would still be able to control every man she was involved with.  If I had money she would have been butter to me, but because I did not desire to chase the almighty dollar I was apparently of little long-term use to her.

If I did not express my thoughts about my desire for a simpler financial life I am fairly confident she would have seen me as someone who could fulfill her Hypergamy and would have chosen to lock me down via marriage or at a minimum cohabitation as she expressed quite plainly soon into our relationship.  But it was her Hypergamous nature that compelled her to end the relationship.  However, I do find it baffling that such a woman (at 45yrs old) is still being that choosy when she has very obviously hit the wall and her prospects for a committed and loving LTR are just about gone, if not totally expired.  I have noticed this in other similarly situated woman, as many other men also have.  She told me several times I was to be her last relationship, which I did not believe for an instant.  I guess its cougarville and a bunch of cats for her next, or she will have to rush to find that beta provider, which she has already has I am afraid.  I know I am the last alpha she will have the opportunity to be in a real LTR with, and I do think she honestly realized that.  I was still in the LTR (beta) mindset after my marriage failure and she took full advantage of that and my heartbreak and worked hard to show me she could be a good replacement for my ex-wife.  I was playing the odds at the time and the older women do seem very enthusiastic to get with a man even if he is only a little alpha.  Now I don’t disagree with being in a loving committed and monogamous relationship if a man’s needs are being met and the woman is pleasant, but such a relationship is becomes dangerous for a man as soon as he is not getting his needs and desires met and who does not set the frame to HIS reality in such a relationship.  When men fail to set the frame we have Oneitis and the relationship is in the woman’s frame which does nothing but to encourage her hypergamous nature and increase the likelihood of the man being left due to the loss of attraction his woman will have for him.

In the end she did me a favor by ending our relationship when she did.  For various reasons, which I will explain in later essays, I wished to remain in the relationship, even though I knew for a fact I could do so much better.  I am now convinced that my mindset was doomed to failure and my unhappiness would almost be guaranteed later as she aged more and started menopause.  I had even tried to unsuccessfully convince myself that she was a better choice for various reasons than chasing young hotties because of her maturity and business skills.  Now I realize the fallacy in the way I was thinking.  The Red Pill has helped me to see this and those principles greatly reduced the shock and negative emotions I would have otherwise felt from her ending our relationship.  At last it is over and this relationship will have to go out like yesterdays garbage.  At least I am not burdened by any desire to reconnect with her again.

I write these essays based on my experiences so other man can see these common issues in their relationships.  Most of these things I write about are issues that are occurring or have occurred in my past and it was not until after the issue, relationship, or the chance to fix something had expired that I realized the dynamics that were involved.  Of course I am learning not to do the things that I found to be detrimental.  By documenting these things, other men can have the information to make changes in the ways that is most profitable for them and their relationships.

This is a working group so we can all learn.  I would like input on this from my readers.  Where did I go wrong?  Where did I go right?

I want to note that she was obviously never bride material and she would never have gotten a ring from me, but I was willing to take a limited calculated risk to commit to her for at least a few years while I got back on my feet.  If we did not work out we would both still realize profits from the venture and that’s how I looked at it.

 

By: MonkeyWerks

Can you guess which position in the following story she took and the one I took?  If you guessed correctly then you would see the problem not just in the last relationship I was in, but you can probably see a version of this story in many failed relationships.

As in my case, she wanted me to restart my business at full capacity incurring the debt and expenses in doing so and forcing me to go back to working 12-16 hours per day 6 days per week.

I preferred to work from home and make the money I needed and a little bit more and homeschool my daughters, tend my garden, raise my bunnies and do whatever else interests me.  I have figured that my business would take about 4-6 hours per day and that I would make more than enough income.  That will leave plenty of time to do all that I wish to do and chase young hotties if I desire.

Oh, and read Code Olive by AFT.  It seems to fit the paradox.

At least I will not have to endure her old nagging ass anymore.

The following was found on the MGTOW forms.

A Simple Life Well Lived

The businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor.”
The businessman scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But señor, how long will this all take?” To which the businessman replied, “15-20 years.” “But what then, señor?” The businessman laughed and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.” “Millions, señor? Then what?” The businessman said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “Isn’t that what I’m doing right now?”

-Author Unknown

Success

We live in a world in which being successful is everything. Success is measured by power, popularity, control, achievement, and winning. Having more and being more is success. The businessman measured success by the accumulation of wealth and by living a plush life. He held a Harvard MBA, millions of dollars, and status as a powerful businessman. “The person with the most toys wins” is a fitting motto.

The businessman encouraged the fisherman to accumulate “toys,” too. “Buy a bigger boat,” then “buy several boats,” and eventually buy a “fleet of fishing boats.” The businessman claimed all this would lead to power and status when “you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery.” As his own boss, the businessman ventured the Mexican would amass “control” and more wealth through an “expanding enterprise.”

Patiently the fisherman listened and then asked an intelligent question, “how long will this all take?” To which the businessman replied, “15-20 years.” There’s danger in waiting to live the life that you really want to live. Like the businessman, we can easily spend forty years climbing to the top of the financial ladder only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall. We didn’t address life issues about faith, contribution, success, suffering, or love.

Possessions and wealth are not enough. While comforting, wealth cannot fulfill. Benjamin Franklin was of the opinion, “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” Wealth may momentarily help us to escape emptiness; it cannot cure it.

The Mexican fisherman lived in a small village, fished in a small boat, and led a simple life. His little way made, for him, a happy life. The Mexican found success in a simple life well lived. The quality of his relationships, the depth of his character, and the sincerity of his commitments to family measured his success.

The fisherman had a specific view of a life well lived. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos.” To be as specific as possible helps to succeed in living a good life. His little way made, for the Mexican fisherman, a “full and busy life.”

The businessman accumulated money to support his retirement. It was wise to plan for the future. Yet, what sort of life was he living in the present? The businessman was so future-oriented he hadn’t taken sufficient time to question what the future looked like. The businessman was living for what the Mexican already enjoyed—a simple life well lived.

I’m not suggesting selling everything and moving to a small coastal Mexican village (although, personally this is an appealing idea). We should aspire to be successful in our careers. My brother received a $40,000 bonus last year, and my sister recently passed her exam to pursue her doctorate. These are perfectly legitimate forms of success. We run into trouble when the only thing we are living for is success that is self-serving.

Rudyard Kipling, giving a commencement address at McGill University in Montreal, said there was one striking thing that deserves to be remembered about people. Warning the students against an over-concern for money, power, or popularity, he said, “Some day you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are.” The businessman discovered how poor he was when he met the Mexican fisherman.