Posts Tagged ‘Finance’

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The most fascinating thing about writing is not only the research involved in composing many of my essays and articles, but it’s the emails and the comments I receive.  I have to say that between commenting forthrightly on other articles from other writers and then writing my own articles, I do oftentimes stir up some strong emotions and opinions in others when I debate them.  I suppose because I am in fact very passionate in real life I am just as passionate in my writing.  My essay on spanking your woman apparently riled up one commenter to such a degree that he shared my work with several women, who must be his friends, in order to get their “opinion” about what I wrote and in turn wrote an interesting comment whereas this essay is my response.

To begin with I think he was seeking the approval of these women more so than anything.  I say this because he received what I believe to be disingenuous responses from them based on the context and what he didn’t say in his comment.  A woman will always respond to a question in a way as to benefit them the most.  The truthfulness of their answer is contextual and is therefore oftentimes subjective.  It could be he was trying to gain their approval in an effort to test the waters because he thinks spanking might be a good idea (unlikely), or he was entering into their frame as a white knight so that he could show these women how great and special he is because he not like that sadistic monkey over at The Reinvention of Man who like to spank his lovers asses red and then have wild sex with them (likely).  The following excerpt from his comment really illuminates the frame the commentator is coming from:

“And I know for a bloody fact that many of them would rather chew off their own arm than be stuck in a relationship that you have described in your blog. I know because I asked them.”

It would have been more useful for the class if he had tried spanking one or two of these women first and then wrote about how his experience was either positive or negative rather than trying to protect the illusion that most women are virtuous.  I suspect he had never spanked or tied a woman up during erotic play.  It’s a pity too.  I also suspect he has many other inaccurate preconceived notions about human sexuality in general.

The questions he should have asked himself is what would happen if I just spanked her when my woman did something I felt was disagreeable?  This goes to the issue of initiating sex versus asking for it.  Asking a woman, “can I spank you” completely misses the point of the exercise and many women will probably flatly respond with a “no”.  They are not saying no because they don’t want to be spanked, they are saying “no” because they do not want a spanking from, you a weak supplicating man in their eyes.  I know this is harsh but the truth is often that way.  This comes full circle back to having the proper frame in order to not only spank a woman, but having her want you to do it, enjoy you doing it and of course having the activity (spanking in this case) bring about positive behavior and reactions such as real respect for her man and of course more intense sexual stimulation.  The key lesson here is that a woman who respects you and admires you will more often than not, want to have sex with you, and she will WANT to please you.

Most plugged in and beta’s are quick to criticize unplugged men’s behaviors and what we write about without first really considering the real issues or the evolutionary biology behind our various essays.  I’m not criticizing anyone because I also had a hard time digesting these ideas when I first began reading the articles and essays I found in the manosphere.  For men who truly want to learn I suggest doing just that.  The links I include in my essays will lead readers to far more detailed information than what is contained in this work.  Continuing, these men will think like this for any number of reasons, two most common of which I will note here.  The first reason is based on a sense of white knightery and of course a skewed sense of chivalry which in our modern society is quite outdated.  The second reason these men criticize works such as this are playing beta game in their attempt to garner a positive response in women they either want to bang or in an attempt to gain a favorable reaction from their wives or girlfriends so they can get that atta-boy and recognition and maybe a little tepid sexy time.

Before we continue let us look at the subject of premises.  I wanted to bring this up because of the 2nd sentence of L’s comment which stated that he has never met a woman who enjoyed being patronized.  I can only surmise by the rest of his comment that he equates spanking and male leadership to patronization of a woman.  He is wrong on that issue as we will see throughout this essay, but the key issue to address is his premise, faulty as it may be.  The truth is that he likely never initiated spanking a woman as it related to his woman’s disagreeable behavior.  I believe that had he at least tried to spank a woman he would have mentioned it and described whether her reaction was positive or negative.  The issue of premise addresses a large portion of his comment and how he tried to create a straw man argument against the idea stating that out of billions of women only a few would like spanking.  The important thing he needs to realize is that he is wrong thinking women are all that different from one another.  Women may like different kinds of food, but all of them like to eat.  Women will also act a certain way most of the time and react to certain stimuli on a primal level also most of the time, given the right circumstances and conditions.  Most men do not understand or appreciate this and refuse to open their minds up enough to learn about it.  I see this when men get angry at their girlfriends who fool around.  They cannot grasp the innate desires a woman often exhibits. A good start would be reading Rollo’s essay that I linked to at the beginning of this section and all of his other essays.  Rollo is probably one of my favorite writers because he addresses many of the foundational truths of evo-psycology and gender dynamics.  That is probably why I link to his essays quite a bit.

I have noticed that when plugged in men are confronted by something they either have no experience with or understand as it pertains to human sexuality or gender dynamics, they immediately seem to ask women what their opinion is about this or that.  We see this with dating advice from woman for men. They fail to realize that women will say one thing and mean something else entirely.  Another such example is as it pertains to spanking directly. This is when a woman says she wants a nice guy.  Any unplugged man knows for a fact that the overwhelming majority of women deplore “nice guys”.  Plugged in men still think maybe his love object will love him if he is nice enough to her and does enough things for her but he soon finds himself with blue balls and dealing with a LJBF rejection while she is getting fucked every which way by the alpha bad boy rockstardrummer asshole.  I want to clarify before we continue that I don’t think women want to be abused with daily beatings, nor am I encouraging that sort of behavior.  I also do not think that a woman would like her man calling her a worthless dirty slut every day either (outside of the bedroom at least).  However most women will certainly not respect and definitely not give the best of herself to the typical nice guy or AFC.  Many women who have already hit or who are approaching The Wall do in fact seek out and find beta victims nice guys to marry them, but those men are considered 2nd or even 3rd tier after she has had all of her fun during her younger most fertile years with all of the hot alphas.

He mentions the woman who was amused by the spanking essay.  She was probably being the most honest of them all.  The fact that these women know the particular name of the protagonist in 50 Shades of Grey suggests they have read the book, which is nothing more than the female preferred form of porn.  I would think that many women who enjoyed that book would also enjoy some spankings from the right man.  He mentions BDSM and its kinkery and how it does not relate to somehow patronizing a woman by spanking her.  I am not sure what his point was, however for many of the individuals who do enjoy a BDSM lifestyle, that is a big part of their life.  Some may live a DDlg lifestyle while some are more into other facets such as the woman being collared and owned, and some others like the dungeon work like in 50SoG.  However many couples do play rope games and engage in soft BDSM, but even all of that is beside the point.  The point is only a white knight or beta chump would consider a man being the head of his household and exercising his headship however necessary to ensure the members of his family are happy and that the household in general is content and peaceful would call disciplining someone, even an adult, “patronizing”.  Nor are spankings considered kinky or BDSM as used in the context I suggested.  When I was in the Marine’s I was disciplined plenty and it was done to ensure the efficient operation of our combat unit.  Because I cannot make my woman dig fighting holes in the yard, a quick spanking is a good alternative that yields many more positive results such as not having a hole in my yard that at some point will need to be refilled.

Society used to have controls on women’s Hypergamic natures, such as slut shaming, marriage 1.0 and teaching male headship.  This was when society, and especially families and marriages were not only gentler in many respects but overall happier and more content.  In our modern society sometimes we need to reintroduce old concepts that once worked so very well.  Amazingly enough as many eventually find out, these concepts really did work as shown in the video in the previous essay, where John Wayne verbally chastises a woman but then spanks her over his knee to reinforce what he said.  The scene ended with him kissing her.  She initially half heartedly resisted but then kissed him back with passion.

Now, I hope this guy read through and thinks about this essay and reads all of the accompanying links.  I hope he does not get to something he does not agree with and stops reading, which is very common.  The men who do that normally end up responding in the typical blue pill fashion by calling aware red pill men misogynists and claim that we have some all sorts of psychological issues, such as he stated that I did in his first comment to my essay.  We in the sphere and unplugged men alike are often called names, shamed and told we are immoral for the mere act of observing and writing about our observations and life experiences and how certain modern day social ideologies affect us in our day to day lives and the lives of other men.  For some reason anyone who does not ascribe to pro-feminine beliefs is somehow labeled a misogynists who hates women.  The real reason these men get upset is that these foundational truths and observations conflict with their feminine conditioning.

My practical advice for living a full eventful life is, “It is better to ask for forgiveness than it is permission”.  This pertains to relationships, sex, and business.  I realized long ago that most men don’t have the guts and instead of doing, they criticize those of us who “do” and try to pull us back in the barrel.  As for the woman who was allegedly disgusted, maybe she was, but I can almost guarantee that not only was she also intrigued by the idea of being spanked by the right man, once she thought about it a little their panties were gooey as a result of the tingles she felt.

I do want to quickly address a few other issues you brought up.  In my marriage my ex wife never abused me.  Her trying to hit me twice does not necessarily constitute abuse on her part or severe psychological issues.  Alternatively, I never abused her either.  Me defending myself and disciplining her also does not constitute abuse.  I will agree with L that she does have anger issues, but most of that could likely be tracked back to her feminist upbringing and her unrealistic expectations of marriageWhen I didn’t respond to her threats in the manner of how she was taught I would, she was became confused and angry because her upbringing and current belief system didn’t equip her with the tools on how to be a good wife in a successful marriage.  My personal toolbox was also lacking.  Other than during sex once in a while I never spanked her although I should have many times.  That is my failing for catering to her feminine imperative and my acting as an AFC.  Had I lead her properly we would still be together, because contrary to what people like the commentator says, women can be taught, as men can be taught.  They are taught every day, what matters is who is leading and teaching them.  Spanking is nothing but a tool to use when teaching a woman to behave in a positive way.  Lastly my ex wife’s beliefs, attitudes and actions were all atypical of virtually every American woman.  You statement in your closing sentence that the hypothesis that women are attracted to assholes has been thoroughly debunked is wholly incorrect when the exact opposite has been not only proven by several studies but also by the man on street who meets quality women and yet rejects the notion of being the nice guy.  Asking some women what their opinion is does not disprove a hypothesis.  Next time please link sources and research materials when forwarding a theory.

Recommended additional reading:

Nice Guys – The Rational Male (multi)

People are People – The Rational Male

Nice Guys – Heartiste (multi)

Chicks Despise Niceguys – Heartiste

Niceguys Lose… Again – Heartiste

Girl Admits She Loathes Niceguy “Boyfriend” – Heartiste

Defining White Knights and Mangina’s – Society of Phineas

White Knighting Explained – Heartiste

 

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How many times have we seen our friends move in with a woman or have their girlfriends move in with them and then later the relationship always fails and your friend is worse off than if he had not lived with his girlfriend?  I see this all of the time.

But it gets worse for men who live with their girlfriends.  Now we have some interesting data that living with a woman is worse for your health than living alone.

Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Figure 1. Percentage of men aged 18–64 with at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Regardless of age, married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Men aged 45–64 (79.6%) were more likely than men aged 18–44 (64.1%) to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months. However, the association of marriage and cohabitation with men’s use of health care was generally consistent regardless of age. Among both age groups, men who were married were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year. Cohabiting men were less likely than other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year (Figure 2).

Figure 2. Percentage of men aged 18–64 who had at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by age and marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have received recommended clinical preventive services in the past 12 months.

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends that, on a regular basis, all adults have their blood pressure checked, men aged 35 and over have their blood cholesterol checked, and adults with hypertension be screened for type 2 diabetes (3). Marriage and cohabitation were both related to men’s receipt of these clinical preventive services. Among men for whom the service was recommended, receipt of each service was more likely for those who were married than for those who were cohabitating or not married. Cholesterol and diabetes screenings were less likely for cohabiting men than for other not-married men (Figure 4).

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Summary

Married men were more likely than not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past 12 months. This association was observed for both younger and older men, but only among men with health insurance. When men have the means to access health care, spouses may play a role in their use of health care by directly encouraging men to seek preventive care and by indirectly evoking in men a sense of economic and social obligation to the family (1,2).

The results suggest that cohabiting partners do not play a similar health-promoting role. Compared with both married men and other not-married men, cohabiting men were less likely to have had a health care visit. They were also less likely to have had selected clinical preventive services in the past 12 months, including blood pressure checks and screenings for elevated cholesterol and diabetes. In fact, cohabiting men are a group particularly at risk of not receiving clinical preventive services recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. Only about one-half of men in this group for whom cholesterol and diabetes screenings are recommended had received these screenings in the past 12 months.

Summary and charts from the CDC:

So what does all of this tell us?  Married men are usually encouraged by their wives to take better care of themselves and go to the doctor for preventative health care services.  Single men living alone are less likely to go to the doctors but still they seek out preventative medicine in substantial numbers.  For men who cohabitate with a woman they are the least likely to go to the doctors for preventative medicine and they take care of themselves the least.  It seems that they are less healthy overall than both married and single men living alone.

Looking at this as a social dynamic, I speculate that the women these men live with care much less about them than a wife would.  Living with a woman is so much different than living with your wife (who you did not live with previous to marriage) for a variety of reason.  There is a subconscious dynamic that although it initially may be hard to see, it is there.  Not only will you be less healthy but you will be less happy overall.  There is never a good reason to live with a girlfriend.  Just ask yourself what are the benefits that you cannot get living alone, with male roommates, or even just marrying her?  Will she appreciate you more?  Will you have more and better sex?  Will your girlfriend whom you agreed to live with love you more?

I think the worst thing a man could do is live with a woman and then marry her.  The dynamics involved will almost certainly assure that not only will the marriage ultimately fail but the marriages that do in fact succeed (in relative terms) the man will be more miserable overall.  In these situations such as this the man becomes preconditioned by the faulty premise of the previous cohabitation dynamic.  Thus the merging of the different dynamics from cohabitation to then marriage is such that most men are powerless to navigate the minefield of a woman’s hypergamy and solipsism.  Maybe she really loves you and wants to always be around you.  That is fine, but remember, the anxiety she may feel when you two are not together is the same emotion that helps keeps her attracted to you.  When you agreeing to live with her you take away that anxiety and you lose your power and most importantly room to maneuver and you might die sooner.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

By :MonkeyWerks

Women hate to watch a man struggle; it makes them sick and their pussy as dry as popcorn farts.  They will make every excuse to run away from you as fast as they can unless of course you are that uber alpha rock band bass player.

When C broke ended our relationship, she did so because I am pretty broke. That night I had to ask her if she had really ever struggled in life, specifically financially.  I knew the real answer, but I had to ask anyways.

Some men have not had to struggle either, but I think most men have had times where they had to struggle financially and sometimes even to the point of being on the brink of losing everything.

Most of us when we go through hard times pick ourselves up and work to fixing the problems.  We scrimp and live frugally.  We change our lifestyle in order to reduce the need for financial resources.  In other words we adopt a simpler lifestyle.  Sometimes this simpler lifestyle gives us a means to a sort of financial independence.  I have seen many men who made large annual incomes yet although they had more “nice stuff” they did not have any independence and their overall happiness with their lives was lower.

As I see it financial independence is such that I could live my life and do what I want when I want.  This may not entail having the resources to become a jetsetter but being able to live comfortably on a minimal annual income stream has always been a goal of mine.  My current lifestyle allows me to work only a few hours per day.  With the income that comes in I can tend my garden and pursue many of my other interests.  Some of these pursuits also make money which offsets the costs of my various hobbies.  As things in my life stabilize, I believe that in the next 24 months I will be living a much more carefree life filling my days with my children’s laughter and the satisfaction of doing the things I most want to do.  That is freedom.  I don’t mind doing the hard work to live naturally and off of my land reloading my own ammo or working on my turbo cars.  Freedom does not necessitate I drive an $80,000 car or live in a 5000 sq/ft house.  A nice home on some land and my current collection of fast cars is plenty for me.  This was a goal I though even my ex-wife was interested in.

However, for many women my ideal would never be enough.  They would always want that big house, a big diamond and the expensive car to drive.  In their gut they will desire to acquire the symbols of social status, including the hot alpha man if they can pull it off, but a beta will do if he makes enough money.  Many women have been raised to expect this either by being brought up in a household with higher than average income or being married to or involved with successful (but beta) men.  Of course they need a man to work his ass of so she can realize her ambitions, which is the common denominator in all of this.  These women will trade whatever they need to and nothing more to secure a mans resources.  This can be her conditional sexual intimacy, children and even a cleverly disguised feigned genuine interest in the man’s goals and ambitions.  I have seen this far too often.  My ex-wife admitted this to me one day in not so many words and C has also admitted to me that they were both very interested and supportive of my ambitions until it became apparent they too would need to work hard and help me if they were to benefit from my labors.  These women acted the same differing only by degrees and detail in the execution of their overall plans to run away as soon as it became necessary that their hands might get dirty.  Upon realizing this I had decided I will never work for a woman ever again.  I will only work for me.  She may follow me and even possibly enjoy SOME of the fruits of my labors if she helps out, but she will never be either the motivation or the sole recipient of these fruits.  I will never buy a woman a house or car.  I will not pay for her hobbies such as her horses.  The only thing she offered me was sex and escorts and young sluts can provide that if necessary and for a much lower overall cost.  Most women will make excuses and run whenever it became necessary for them to help their man out a jam.  This is why it is important to never rely on a woman or her help in order for you to realize your goals.  Of course this was not always the situation, but it now seems the norm with the modern woman.

My ex-wife is living the typical post divorce lifestyle.  I really do feel bad for her, but the choice was all hers and so are the consequences.  She seems to be just getting by but is not doing well by any means.  Many of my influences, such as simple and holistic living, have rubbed off on her and her current lifestyle depicts this, but her execution of my influences is terribly flawed, which is why she will always struggle financially until she either gets remarried or gets a higher paying job thus trading much of her freedom of choice for more financial security. She would also have to stop homeschooling our daughters at this time.  Between her added expenses of paying for her own household without my help and her desire to keep my children away from me, she is running ragged by her situation and it shows.  She is starting to look like shit.  She needs a roommate to help her financially because she is unable to afford live on her income alone.  She eschewed being married to me, a loving and faithful husband who worked hard for his family and a father for our children to living with various other women with their (probable illegitimate) children which only accelerates my daughters being fucked up even more.  She will have no choice, like most divorced women, but to find (settle for) and marry a man who can (put her on a pedestal) provide for her financially.  My mother did this, my brother’s fiancé with her 3 children from 3 different men is doing this with my brother and C had been attempting to groom me to do this for her. Almost every other divorced woman I know or have met aspires to this same end if they have not already succeeded in securing their provider chump after their run on the carousel.  This illuminates several other problems and issues I will address in later essays but suffice it to say although she has tried I won’t be this fucking guy.  However, this essay is not about my ex-wife, it is about my former lover C.

I am going to use her as an example because it is a perfect one in my opinion, to show how the modern woman thinks in these and similar situations.  It also shows why I have no desire to bust my ass for an older slutty woman, a single mother, a reborn again Christian virgin, or a feminist.  In Financial Frame I explained some of the dynamics at play.  One thing I want to mention is that she made a very big deal about how she made more money than me.  I personally did not have a problem with that personally, but she did.  She stated that men feel inferior when their woman earns more. I think that Rollo had it right when he wrote about this dynamic conflicting with her Hypergamic nature,

She was raised in an upper middle class home with a SAHM and had never had to go hungry or worry if there was money to buy shoes.  Her parents have more than $3 million in the bank from what I understand.  In and of itself that’s good.  My family was quite poor growing up and I don’t wish than on anyone.  When she graduated high school at 18 she was engaged to and lived with a guy and apparently she worked but they were pretty broke.  Now to be fair, her parents made her work from a young age and instilled a good work ethic in her.  In this regard she was awesome and at first I thought she would be an asset to my endeavors, but as was shown above, she only expended her energies for things that would benefit her directly and immediately.  The two main drawbacks to her upbringing are that her mother is a narcissist and due to inadequate bonding caused C to have acquired a form of Borderline Personality Disorder as many American women currently have to some degree and she was brought up by her beta father to be a Strong Independent Woman®.  As I incorrectly assumed that my wife would assist me in getting back on track, I also erroneously assumed that C would also assist me in setting up a life that we both could benefit from and enjoy. That was apparently not the case.

Continuing with her story, when she was about 20 she moved in with a 40 year old man she worked for a within a week after they started dating.  This man was also broke from the divorce he JUST went through although he owned the company she worked for.  So because she worked for her future fiancé she was getting a paycheck and he was unable to draw a sufficient one for himself the first year.  She helped pay their bills during this time.  After a year he was apparently back on his feet and all was well in her world.  He bought her some horses and a farm in order to have them at home.  To give you an idea on this man’s wealth he owned a ½ million dollar boat race team.  He died after they were together for about 13 years and she inherited the bulk of his estate, not his children from what I understand.  They never ended up getting married and he committed suicide when she left him, at least that’s her story.  She could have been fucking everyone behind his back for all I know.

She seemed to have been an asset for this man.  Judging by her stories she helped with the boat team and was integral in the operation of his companies.  It is apparent that this man made her an alpha widow.  Allegedly, he was her 3rd sexual partner and the last before she became unable to pair bond to another man.  She told me she had about 6 other sexual partners after him and I was her 10th.  Yeah right.  It became obvious that because this man’s history, situation, including having 2 daughters and our personalities being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  Furthermore, it just grated on me when she made comparisons between he and I. I did call her out on that shit when it occurred and ignored her for a week or so.  Out of her admitted number of past sexual partners there were 3 STR with lesser alphas or greater betas, and the rest were likely pretty beta. I can only surmise by listening to her talk about these men and asking questions. Thankfully, I was wise enough to see from the beginning she had been searching for her first alpha’s replacement by engaging in serial monogamy coupled with a young fuck buddy and a couple of Craigslist hookups with her playing the unicorn.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago and this is where we met.  She could not afford groceries, she never had much if any cash available and she ALWAYS used her credit cards to buy everything.  I think she had like a dozen of them at this time.

Her financial picture is as follows.  She spent about ½ the estate she inherited on her horses to the tune of more than $250k-$300k.  She works as a secretary for a company making over $50k/year.  When we met she was deeply in debt to the tune of $105k for credit cards and about $300k for real-estate for a total debt load of $405k.  With her other assets she is about $200k in the black.  Not good at all, her liabilities really offset her otherwise considerable assets.  And she is only a secretary with no education, which is interesting. At her rate of burning through her finances she would have been broke long before she was able to retire had I not taught her how to fix her situation.  Now she is in a much better financial position and she has been able to retain 90% of her assets while reducing her considerable liabilities.  I was happy to assist her in the off chance I ended up deciding to commit to her for the long term, but as it turned out I would need her help in the future.

She apparently slept with all the right men until she met me. All of the other men made good money at their jobs.  I even saw a past email she wrote to a friend where she boasted that four men she was dating consecutively all made over $100k/yr.  When I read this her real intentions became crystal clear to me.

Between business challenges and my wife leaving me I was both an emotional and financial wreck.  I sold some assets to barely live off of for the first year.  It was hard and things got shut off from time to time but I made it.  I will admit she did help me out in small ways, but never in a way that would have alleviated any of the considerable pressure I was under at the time.  When she ended the relationship, at a time I REALLY needed her help, she stated very clearly that, “if I am with you I would feel obligated to help you, so in order for me to not feel this obligation I have decided to end this relationship between us”.  She also stated afterwards, “I feel guilty about doing this, so can you just tell me it’s ok, (for being a bitch -my thoughts) so I won’t feel so bad about this?”  I cannot even comment on the selfishness of her words and how her hamster must be running at light speed.  She also mumbled something about all the other men wearing her out.  I think I chuckled at that. I know that it was a nuclear shit test in the order of 100 megatons.  This one was even bigger than the ones she gave about me banging younger woman because she is too old and how I blew off her concerns about the woman I fucked a couple of times during our most recent break up.  The only way I could have diffused this one was when I told her that I am fine with her leaving if she was that selfish and really trying to meaning it.  Either way, I failed in defusing that particular bomb.  I am now indifferent to her, which may even make her want to come back to me, unfortunately.  I had to call her last night (about 3 days after breakup) for some information she had that I needed and I was pretty well indifferent to her.  She asked how I was doing, feigning concern, and I flatly told her I was doing well (I am honestly) and I was hustling up more work.  I never asked how she was doing, nor did I particularly care to be honest.  She did however make it clear she was alone on a Saturday night.  I figured she would be out mining for men again, but I think she mentioned something about her going back to online dating in the spring which is mating season after all.

I will be more diligent of assuming a more amused mastery in my future relationships because ALL WOMEN ARE IN FACT JUST LIKE HER and women do not have any empathy for a man’s problems.  She had to make she also told me she always had money to pay for her stuff, and “she liked her nice stuff”.  Maybe that’s how she managed to burn through so much of her money on just bullshit with nothing of any real value to show.  Her shit test was her hamster validating her rationalizations for leaving me because she did not want to loan me $1000.  That was all I needed and she had the money.  I would have paid her back in 60 – 90 days and I offered her sufficient collateral for this loan.  I hated even having to ask her for this loan for my own egotistical reasons, but if she did loan me the money it would have saved me a bunch of grief.

She never had to struggle financially even when her finances were pretty well fucked before I formulated the plan for her to get out of her pretty dire situation which helped save her ass from impending financial doom.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Like her, most women who are currently or were in the past subsidized by a man (or several men) will refuse to help the man in her life when and should he need it either with physical work and her time or financial help, especially if it would require that she went without a comfort item for a short period of time like buying a new piece of equipment for her hobby.  Women seem to have no moral imperative to do what would be considered right or selfless by men’s standards. I have a friend, who if I asked for his help, he would help even possibly to his own detriment, because he is a good friend and he is knows I would do the same for him. I have FINALLY learned to NEVER ask a woman for help.  Even if I have to sell my ass, it is better than asking for a woman’s assistance on anything in life.  Just to be clear I have no intention of selling my ass or becoming a homo, it was only an example.

This essay might sound whiny and yes, I am bitching about her fucked up thinking, but she really illuminated some very important issues and she showed me who she really is as a person and proved to me that modern women are in fact really fucked up. Her actions and words were very clear and convincing evidence that women don’t suffer like men, a woman will not help a man even if she could because just by virtue of the man needing her help reduces or eliminates his attractiveness to her and no woman want to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions.

I realized that I never intended to be with her long term because I was seeing her as more and more undesirable by the day.  I knew I could and would do so much better as soon as I got on my feet again and pulled my head out of my ass.  She was too old, had way too many cocks, was an alpha widow and in the end argumentative and domineering.  Her pussy was fun but in the end that’s about all she brought to the table.  As it turns out the best thing happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates dammit.

Please comment if any of you have seen similar situations happen.  I am interested in hearing your stories.

By: MonkeyWerks

I was thinking about the frame the relationship was in.  Because of her stated reasons for ending the relationship were primarily financial, which was only a part of it, I thought I would delve deeper into the financial frame our that was set in our relationship.  To start financially I am in a pretty bad place, one that I have never been in before.  My challenges although seemingly complex can be dealt with but I just needed time, like in the neighborhood of 1-2 years to be back to where I was.

She made more money than me, a lot more actually.  I did not have a problem with and it did not make me feel inadequate by any means.  I felt that I would be where I wanted to be financially in a reasonable amount of time.

Although I was working at making sure I kept the correct frame to our relationship so it may succeed long-term,  I noticed that C was resisting that frame because of my lack of financial resources and her general resistance to any form of headship or leadership by a man.  I thought that what I was doing was correct because it would help to build happiness and contentment in our relationship.  About mid-point to our relationship we talked about being together long-term, living together and me running one of my business’s out of our new house.  She had the money to make it happen and I had the brains.  Neither of us could move forward without the other.  That was the reality of the situation, but it was win/win.  It was not the first thing I would have liked to do because it reduced some of my overall control over our relationship and I would have to Game her much harder and more consistently in order to maintain a high level of attraction and satisfy her hypergamous nature and inclinations.  This would have taken a huge amount of effort and that comfortable place in any relationship would never been experienced.  I do understand her need to feel secure in all respects but everything she did throughout her life and her decisions actually hurt her overall long-term security and happiness.  This was something I was attempting to help her avoid, and I now realize how White Knightish this mindset was.

I was willing to consider this option due to the time saved if I did something similar on my own.  She benefited by my knowledge and my commitment to her.  I would be giving her that last chance at a successful relationship if she did not fuck it up.  I benefited by making an environment where I could immediately start thriving and rebuilding what I had previously lost. I would also have had a good home environment for my two daughters, at least that was what I led myself to believe at the time.

She even brought up the idea of her having a child which I told her she was insane because she is waaaay to old and of course I noted her questionable past.  That might have been when I put the brakes on this plan.  She also wanted me to retire her in 2-3 years and pay over $14k/yr for the maintenance of her 2 horses.  It was the issue with her horses that ultimately caused the plan to fail in her mind.  See the article on women with horses and you will understand this better.

Even when my business was doing well, due to reoccurring expenses my take home pay was just a little over what was needed to live the basic yet good lifestyle my family and I lived at the time.  I took the remaining funds and reinvested them into the company in things such as new equipment and research and development.  I taught my ex-wife to clean like a Marine in the beginning of our marriage because she did not know how because I wasn’t going to clean the fucking house. I led her to set up a cleaning business when the opportunity presented itself.  I also taught her how to run such a business instead of just letting her sit on her ass and get fat.  The money she made from her business went into the household expenses.  This gave her something profitable to do and took some stress off of me.  The problem with this plan was that I did not control the money that was made.  I didn’t even check on her accounts often enough.  So my plans flaws encouraged her in some ways to not only become independent of me but it gave her that little bit of encouragement for her to break up the marriage when she saw fit to do so.

What I should have done was control the money she made and gave her an allowance as needed.  Now this brings up the issue with C.  C makes more money, she repeatedly stated I needed to make much more than her so she could become the dependant one and help me with my businesses.  What she really wanted to do was to quit her job and ride her horses all day.  She would often state that when a woman makes more than the man there are problems because it makes the man feel insecure. This might be true for a STHD or ultra beta maybe, but I did not feel threatened by this situation.  She was seeing my income level as not only a point of qualification for long-term provisioning but possibly as a means to justify to herself that entering my frame was ok.  One of her biggest fears by giving me control was that I would be unwilling to pay for her horses.  She would always tell me she felt that I would consider them “frivolous” expenses, which I did actually.  My thoughts were if the extra money was there and the effort to generate the funds were minimal I MIGHT not give a shit, but working by the hour, no fucking way was I going to waste $14k/yr on animals as a hobby or entertainment.  If she wanted her horses she would have to work and still pay half of the household expenses.  She is not young or hot enough to demand anything else.  I would always discuss with her options and plans but if a decision needed to be made, I would make regardless of how much she bitched about it, and I would never apologize for leading my household.  She did not like this and even if I was to pay for her horses the same problems would still be there and I would end up in her frame.  Much of our disagreements stemmed from her lip service to being a good submissive woman.  I knew deep down I could never Game her into submission because she was permanently fucked up and no amount of Game or alpha would fix that.

The only way things could have worked is if I controlled all the finances in the relationship regardless of who generated the majority of it.  I would also have to pretty much rule the roost in all other areas without question.  Although she made good money at her job, she was still irresponsible with her cash flow.  She paid a lot of taxes in her bracket by being single.  Her horses consumed about 30% of her income on average and although she could have lived quite comfortably on the rest she was still always cash poor, which I never understood.  She did have some non-liquid assets, but those assets were in large part originally generated by her now deceased first husbands (fiancé of 13 years) estate.  She stated that because she cook, clean, and ran the books for this man she helped build the estate, although it was his skills that actually built the companies he owned.  For example she was over $105k in consumer (credit card) debt when we met.  There was no reason for her to have generated this level of debt and although it is very common for single women in this day and age to have such large debt, the amount seemed far more than the norm to me.

I taught her a process to greatly reduce her debt and then eliminate it like a good white knight.  Just because I happened to be broke did not mean my mind was broke or that I did not have the skills to manage finances in a responsible way. Even though, I guess I failed in her eyes to “prove my worth” to her by not rebuilding my company up fast enough and by my desire to live a more simple life with greatly reduced expenses.  It’s all bullshit from her I realize, but I wanted to point this out.  I guess she figured that because she chose a career and animals over a man when she was younger that she would still be able to control every man she was involved with.  If I had money she would have been butter to me, but because I did not desire to chase the almighty dollar I was apparently of little long-term use to her.

If I did not express my thoughts about my desire for a simpler financial life I am fairly confident she would have seen me as someone who could fulfill her Hypergamy and would have chosen to lock me down via marriage or at a minimum cohabitation as she expressed quite plainly soon into our relationship.  But it was her Hypergamous nature that compelled her to end the relationship.  However, I do find it baffling that such a woman (at 45yrs old) is still being that choosy when she has very obviously hit the wall and her prospects for a committed and loving LTR are just about gone, if not totally expired.  I have noticed this in other similarly situated woman, as many other men also have.  She told me several times I was to be her last relationship, which I did not believe for an instant.  I guess its cougarville and a bunch of cats for her next, or she will have to rush to find that beta provider, which she has already has I am afraid.  I know I am the last alpha she will have the opportunity to be in a real LTR with, and I do think she honestly realized that.  I was still in the LTR (beta) mindset after my marriage failure and she took full advantage of that and my heartbreak and worked hard to show me she could be a good replacement for my ex-wife.  I was playing the odds at the time and the older women do seem very enthusiastic to get with a man even if he is only a little alpha.  Now I don’t disagree with being in a loving committed and monogamous relationship if a man’s needs are being met and the woman is pleasant, but such a relationship is becomes dangerous for a man as soon as he is not getting his needs and desires met and who does not set the frame to HIS reality in such a relationship.  When men fail to set the frame we have Oneitis and the relationship is in the woman’s frame which does nothing but to encourage her hypergamous nature and increase the likelihood of the man being left due to the loss of attraction his woman will have for him.

In the end she did me a favor by ending our relationship when she did.  For various reasons, which I will explain in later essays, I wished to remain in the relationship, even though I knew for a fact I could do so much better.  I am now convinced that my mindset was doomed to failure and my unhappiness would almost be guaranteed later as she aged more and started menopause.  I had even tried to unsuccessfully convince myself that she was a better choice for various reasons than chasing young hotties because of her maturity and business skills.  Now I realize the fallacy in the way I was thinking.  The Red Pill has helped me to see this and those principles greatly reduced the shock and negative emotions I would have otherwise felt from her ending our relationship.  At last it is over and this relationship will have to go out like yesterdays garbage.  At least I am not burdened by any desire to reconnect with her again.

I write these essays based on my experiences so other man can see these common issues in their relationships.  Most of these things I write about are issues that are occurring or have occurred in my past and it was not until after the issue, relationship, or the chance to fix something had expired that I realized the dynamics that were involved.  Of course I am learning not to do the things that I found to be detrimental.  By documenting these things, other men can have the information to make changes in the ways that is most profitable for them and their relationships.

This is a working group so we can all learn.  I would like input on this from my readers.  Where did I go wrong?  Where did I go right?

I want to note that she was obviously never bride material and she would never have gotten a ring from me, but I was willing to take a limited calculated risk to commit to her for at least a few years while I got back on my feet.  If we did not work out we would both still realize profits from the venture and that’s how I looked at it.