Posts Tagged ‘Church’

I wrote most of this as a companion to The Women in Church essay, but a comment on J4M prompted me to include his comment in this essay and thus my response to it as an example of the typical man you would meet in church.

Church Man writes:

I stopped reading alt-right and christian game (an oxymoron) sites last year. The hypocrisy and lunacy was too much to digest. I call myself a church man on purpose, since that crowd is so anti-churcianity as they call it. Supposedly they are the “real Christians” and the rest of us who go to church and actually enjoy it are fakers and dupes or chumps.

I took a gander at Grey’s blog and its the same ol’ crap. A fornicator deigns to lecture men about “church sluts”. And those men lap it up like the dogs they are.

The only people with a right to critique the church are those who are IN IT and trying to make a difference. Not those who have left it to lead wanton lives and yet deign to lecture those of us who have stayed and are living straight.

I am glad Church Man stopped by.  However it seems he read the title of ONE post, got his panties in a knot and stormed off to randomly criticize me on a article that was talking about something else entirely instead of leaving his remarks at the end of my essay.  I think he should have read more of my essays.  He did this in an effort to discredit me personally instead of addressing the issues in the j4G article or my particular comments. This is the classic behavior of the white knights and mangina’s I speak about below.  Many of these men are probably married to the older church women I wrote about in my previous essay on the Types of Women in Church.  When you point out how these mens’s behavior is perpetuating some of these problems they take it as a personal attack and act out emotionally, just like women really.  He ambiguously uses shaming language against me and the entire sphere because he is somehow more moral than any of us, or he thinks of himself as so.  Maybe this is because he chooses to attend church were some of do not.  I personally think that Dalrock and Rollo are quite moral and probably more moral than most of the men who actually go to church including my criticizer.  I will also speculate their marriages are happier and more fulfilling for both spouses than most church men.  I will admit I am a bit more amoral than what I used to be in regards to having sex out of wedlock.  I am also pragmatic, but I digress.

He goes on to state that no one is allowed to criticize the church if they no longer attend.  This smacks of someone who is so entrenched into the feminine-primary mindset that they cannot see past their own misandry.  He must go to the non-typical church were the virgin women are marrying the good virgin and non virgins men regardless of their beta mindsets and none of the church girls have 463 point lists of qualities their perfect man must possess.  His church also takes divorce and female promiscuity so seriously that women are excommunicated for frivolously divorcing their husbands.  The sluts in his church (yes they are there) have forsworn their promiscuous ways and thus many have relegated themselves to a life of celibacy and singleness because they know that they are far to damaged to be a good wife who is able to bond to the beta men who she would meet in church.  These men like Church Man, when (not if) they find themselves victims of hypergamy and the feminine imperative will either resign themselves to a lifetime of loneliness and bitterness or they will be the first ones lurking on Roosh or Heartiste in order to learn the skills and mindset necessary on order to meet and keep his new love interests.

Continuing the original essay, we see from the example above that these men do exist in large numbers and the comments just lends credibility to what follows.   As for the older or married men in church, I have NEVER met a red pill alpha, or any alpha for that matter.  Even the combat vets, who I consider brothers, are still white knights mangina’s when it comes to women and the feminine imperativeEverything they say about marriage and relationships is usually dead wrong.  Many of these men are led by their wives and their children, although they will be the first to tell you how much of a leader they are in their families.  If you criticize or call out the bad advice they commonly give about intergender relations you are thoroughly chastised and shamed.  They will never debate or talk about these issues in an adult and intellectual manner.  Normally they tell you that their interpretations are the only ones that matter, call you immoral and rush off in a huff.  I really cannot totally respect a man for behaving like that.  These same men continuously tell the unmarried and younger men they must marry.  All you have to do is attend any modern church and you will hear the cry from the pulpit and the other male attendees for younger or unmarried men to Man Up (and marry those sluts) and woe unto the man who has sex with one of the precious single princesses who attend church.

Other men you will meet are the young men who were brought up in church and are hoping to find that “one special snowflake” to marry.  They saved themselves, in most cases from lack of opportunity mind you, and are hoping to find the vestal virgin of their dreams.  The problem though is that these men dry up the vajayjay’s of the pretty little church girls who with their lists, only get hot and tingly for the alpha bad boys they would only meet outside of church.  Some do get lucky and their personalities and potential win out, AFBB.   For these men they might end up with a good woman with a healthy (but previously restrained) sex drive that can now be released in all of its naughty fury.  Woe to the man who ends up marrying the 30 year old virgin spinster who had very few choices to begin with or the fake Christian woman who has already worked up a notch count in the double digits.  I hope most of these men at least have enough sense to ask his love interests some very basic questions. It’s unfortunate that for many of these young men who ascribe to contemporary Christian dating advice (bullshit really) the only women who will actually settle for them are themselves settling.  They wouldn’t have to settle so much if they learned game and upped their alpha quotient some.  But these men can rest assured that although she probably wasn’t your first choice, neither were you her first choice.

It’s important to remember that most Christian women have thoroughly adopted the Fireproof world view of how marriage should work and of course if you are not a weeping slub like the (supposed) hero of Courageous, well your just less of a man.  Of course the men who act like this are the ones who end up being cuckolded and possibly forced to raise another man’s child.  Most Christian women also have no problem blowing up their marriages for whatever frivolous reasons, such as her husband looking at porn or he no longer makes her haaapy.  When Christian leaders exalt praise on single motherhood, then you know for sure the church has big big problems.  The older men in church encourage the women to act like this because they refuse to hold women accountable to that higher standard.  They also refuse to teach the unpopular masculine messages in the Bible.  Lastly they deify their wives which of course contradict every teaching of the bible and ends up leading the man to idolatry.  When there is a problem in a couple’s marriage, the following excerpt gives a perfect example of the men=bad, women=good meme.

“When my wife left me for frivolous reasons I approached the head pastor of her church in order to get some help reigning in her rebellion.  All he told me was that it is a woman’s right to divorce and that I am abusive because I told her (my wife) we were going to go to a different church because I did not like the teachings of the one she was attending, which was the church this guy led.  He actually had the gall to tell me that I should be listening to her and coming to his church.  Suffice it to say that we never did reconcile our marriage and are now divorced”.

Too many Christian men and believe that marrying Christian woman will shield them from the reality of divorce.  Unfortunately that is simply not true.  Christian men would be much better of marrying a secular non believer.  If anything the sex will probably be better.  By marrying a secular woman  you can feel confident that at least she will not be having the trad-con version of feminism pumped into her brain twice a week.  It is a sad state of affairs when a non believing woman is preferred to a professing Christian none.

I blame the men in church for not biblically leading their women.  I feel sorry for the young men who grew up in church and have never been exposed to proper thinking about what works with women.

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Christianity has become extremely feminized over the last 20 years or so and I would say that the women a man would meet in church are worse marriage material than the women he would normally meet in the secular world.  Churched women have an unrealistically high sense of entitlement that would be difficult for any man to satisfy, Christian or not.   And of course as a man you will receive a constant barrage of “Man Up” and “men bad- women good” messages, with some twisted scriptures thrown in for an illusion of credibility.  As for me, I have an evangelical protestant background from when I started attending church on my own in my early 20’s but I was not brought up in any church.   The following are mostly from my own personal observations.  I no longer attend Church nor will I ever again.

You have 3 types of women in church:

  1. The actual virgins are looking for the perfect husband and are often so deluded with lists so long that only Christ himself would qualify as good enough to pop her holy cherry. Many of the young women in this group seem to turn their virginity into a type of idolatry.  It seems that God turns out to be the biggest cock block for those men with enough guts to approach these girls.  I say guts because with these young women it will be like traversing a battlefield with the prize of her pure untouched punanni on the other side.  You will just have to hope and pray (and trust her word, lol) that she wasn’t giving up anal sex and blowjobs in an effort to save her pussy for marriage so she could “technically” still be a virgin.  Of course the average churched young man would need to have every qualification on her 463 bullet point list and need to put a ring on her finger before you can get into her panties.  Just remember that these same women have been promised in all of her church groups, in the sermons she heard and from the elders women that their virginity is so valuable and the sex will be so good in marriage that these women on that faithful night will expect nothing less than the planets aligning, the seas parting and little birds singing as they sit on the windowsill.  Unfortunately it is unlikely that she will even reach orgasm that first night and if her new husband is also a virgin they will have quite a bit of a learning curve to deal with.  The worse things these women could do is marry a man who is a virgin himself.  I think it would be best if these young women married men who were considerably older and more experienced than them as was the norm for most of human civilization.  Only an older experienced man has the hand to deal with these entitlement princesses.  Her virginity would only be partial payment for the work he would have to do with her.  However no modern church would ever condone such a thing.  Some of these women will never learn to settle for a real man when compared to the imaginary prince she envisions, and will end up the 30 year old spinster virgin who has lost whatever looks she had and her fertility window.  Many of these women have an unrealistic vision in their heads of what they think they deserve because God said that they are the princess’s to the His Kingdom.  It’s sad to think of all of the good men they ended up disregarding out of hand because of these expectations.  This woman will still need to be gamed hard by her husband because her entitlement monkey will be strong in her.

 

  1. Now we have the born again sluts who rode the carousel hard and are so screwed up biologically, mentally and emotionally that any man who dates (or God forbid, marry) them is in for a world of hurt, torment and self doubt. (Yes, I have seen this many times). I will say this in case you didn’t figure it out from the previous sentence; NO RINGS FOR SLUTS! Period.  The singles ministries are full of them.  They can fake being good girls but an observant man can pick out these women.  You can always go to the Sunday morning nightclub and score with these women where they outnumber the men significantly, but do not marry them.  These women have low impulse control regardless of their new found faith and only the strongest of alpha’s will be able to hold her down (at least temporarily) in what would likely only end up only being a semi monogamous relationship.  For any guy with Game trying to score with these women they are perfect pickings.  Just don’t marry them.  I have even seen men in church have a harem of these types of women in the same church, although this is very rare because most churches will kick such a guy out quickly.  Another thing with these women is that the church will never hold them accountable.

 

  1. Then you have the old housewives who although may stay at home, home school and all of that, you can tell just by meeting them briefly that they are overbearing harpies and all of their husbands are incurable beta chumps who behind the masks of the “yes dears” are utterly miserable. These women will support women’s preferred type of sexual promiscuity, serial monogamy.  They will make sure that men are adequately shamed for such infraction such as dating much younger women and those who do not tow the modern trad-con line.   It is these women that either directly work with church leaders to drive out good alpha Christian men or create the environment where good alpha men will not come to church.  These women will often try to make sure certain rules are followed in order to give other Christian women moral cover for their bad decisions and lack of discretion.  These same women are the ones raising and teaching these younger women in the church how to get what they think they are entitled too.  It is bad that they refuse to follow and heed God’s words in the matter.

 

The modern church will also ruin a good woman.  Yes, those women do exist in very small numbers.  In all good conscience I would never take my daughters or any woman I am in a relationship with to any modern church.  Now good churches do exist, but they are few and far between.  The good ones won’t have rock bands or child ministries or any of that “new” stuff.  The best type of worship services are held in someone’s living room.  But because the pastors of these churches are usually still beta white knights and total mangina’s I am still given pause.  Either way these good women will be negatively influenced by their Christian sisters and that is never a good thing.  In reality Christian women are not looking for a Christian man to marry so they can be a good wife to him and mother to his children, no, they are looking for a man to worship them like she worships herself.

 

See Also:

Reframing Christian marriage

Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.

Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.

Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.

Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

The Typical Christian Woman’s List

Sexless Marriage Series #2

The Spreadsheet Couple who received so much notoriety as of late as shown some very disturbing trends in how a large portion of American men and women think about sex, especially sex in marriage.

One issue as Dalrock recently brought up is the vagina’s power that women often then misuse with most men.  I agree that the nets reactions was based on the sudden loss of the wife’s V-power and all women’s sudden worry that their men would wake up and realize how tenuous their own power plays really were.  Go read Dalrock’s article and come back.

I will however disagree with Dalrock’s observations that women were only half hearted in their support of the wife.  The articles were essentially all the same, essentially telling us that this guy creates a spreadsheet because his wife didn’t want to have sex and that although she should have used better excuses, no man, and especially this lame ass, should ever expect sex from his wife or any women.  What I read was pretty much all female and most male writers supported the wife directly.

Another issue is the very disturbing trend that I have seen reading the comments on the various articles.   This trend is one of male entitlement to sex, specifically as it relates to the sexual dynamics within a marriage.  Feminist have been telling women that their body is theirs to do with as they please regardless of consequences or context.  At first this was directed towards abortion and the feminist’s belief that only women have a right to decide whether to kill their babies or not.  Of course the fathers feeling in the matter are irrelevant.  However, this same attitude spilled over into the sexual arena.  Now we read stories such as this where a wife consistently denies sex to her husband and he is then compelled to document her refusals and reasons in a spreadsheet.  Instead of working on her marriage WITH her husband, she runs off and posts the spreadsheet and her brief story in the net hoping to garner the support of her sisters.  We then see women and their male supporters come out of the woodwork in droves supporting this woman using the same logic that a woman has an absolute right and even an obligation to refuse sex to her husband anytime she does not feel like it.  The modern woman and mangina really do believe that a woman should NEVER put out if she did not immediate desire sex and that sex should ONLY occur if she wants it.  Of course a lot of blame was laid at the husband’s feet because he approached his wife everyday for sex.  Apparently men are not supposed to do that either.

Now we all know, or should know, that you don’t “ask” a woman for sex, you initiate sex with her.  Oh, I can hear those feminists yelling rape already. Speaking of which, the feminists and manginas often state that anytime any man, husbands included, cajoles, pesters or negotiates for sex it is rape when the woman finally gives it up so her man will shut up about it.  Although I find having to pester any woman for sex unacceptable and I would never do that, I do not think such a thing is rape.  I need to write about what rape is and what it is not.  I know that essay will piss a lot of people off.

So what are a woman’s rights and obligations in regards to her husbands or boyfriends sexual desires and needs?  As I stated before, MEN NEED SEX.  I am not talking about duty sex which is lame and is usually less satisfying than looking at porn and jerking off, I am talking about good mutually enthusiastic and satisfying sex.  Without regular quality sex men will normally drift away from his spouse emotionally.  In time he may want nothing to do with her.  This happened to me. My now ex wife always maintained the belief that men are not owed sex and we ended up drifting far apart, so much so that I had zero desire to even try to reconcile with her after she left.  Needless to say our sex life was lame, I looked at porn, she pulled a Jenny Erickson and left.  On the other hand an ex girlfriend of mine not only told me she believed her job was to keep me utterly satisfied, our sex life was such that I had no thoughts of looking at porn and we even adopted the practice that every orgasm we each had would be with the other person.  No more going solo.  She didn’t care if I looked at porn, but we both wanted to share ourselves with each other all of the time.  Simply put, she derived satisfaction by tending to my needs and I derived satisfaction tending to her.  Yes there were times I didn’t want to have sex but because I cared for her I did it willingly and enthusiastically and I’m sure there were times she didn’t want to have sex also.  Ok maybe not, but she still would have had sex anyways.  Another thing to mention is that by cuming inside her pretty much every time I think the bond between us was greatly increased.  Also, regular sex keeps our man parts in good working order and we do feel discomfort and even pain if we have to go too long.  Either way men’s bodies are designed to have sex and ejaculate very regularly.

As Dalrock puts it:

A wife who almost never wants to have sex with her husband is a terrible wife.  As with a slut, only a foolish man would (knowingly) fall in love with a frigid woman.  However, unlike the slut she isn’t even desirable.  A frigid wife is powerless, undesirable, and (romantically) unlovable.  This recognition is what so horrified women around the world when the spreadsheet went viral.

We know that some women will refuse sex often, even when she wants it in order to leverage the power of her pussy.  However this is not the way God or nature intended things to work.  Reading Dalrock’s statement above we see that a frigid wife is a bad wife, a woman not even deserving of our love.  He is right.  Even the ones who “claim” they do cook, clean, etc. unless they are tending to her husband’s sexual needs she is still a bad wife.  You can hire out most of a wife’s other duties, but sex should not be one of them.  Sex is the only bio-chemical bonding a couple will experience.  I have yet to meet or hear about a sexless couple that is happy with two normal adults.  Although no woman seems to understand her own body as well as she should, that is fine because the amateur gynecologist is here.  Reading the comments from Scarymommy’s article it is easy to deduce that sex reinforces the bond between a loving monogamous couple such as a husband and wife.  You will read many of the wives report that they feel so much closer to their husbands with the more sex they have with them.  Without getting into the science, let me say that the science backs this up.  I just made a Walsism, oops.  Anyways, I will save the scientific details for another essay I am working on because it’s that important and it’s interesting.

A wife owes her husband sex.  Even in other committed and monogamous relationship sex is owed to the other partner.  We explored the health benefits and the benefits to the relationship.  Let’s now look at another issue the feminist will certainly scream about.  Us men we work hard for ourselves and our families.  Oftentimes we sacrifice our happiness by not doing things we would rather do or work a job we would enjoy more but the pay would be much less.  Also when we get married we EXPECT that there will be regular and enthusiastic sex with our wives as much as reasonably possible.  For the promise of our commitment, which men honor way more than the modern women does, we want sex, which is also part of the promise and commitment on the part of the woman.  What we do not want is to be the second man eating off of the same plate, which all too often happens.  Married women and women in committed monogamous relations have a responsibility to have a genuine desire, and to actually have sex with their men.  She owes it to him for his commitment to her and in exchange for his work.  If she no longer is sexually attracted to him then she should end the marriage and refuse to take any of his assets when she leaves.  In other words a woman might have to fake it, yes I know, but if she truly loves him her negotiated desire will likely change to the genuine desire which is so important in any couples relationship.  When a woman marries or otherwise commits to a man she loses her right to continually say no.  If she has a medical condition that makes sex difficult she needs to address it immediately.

One thing about control and feminism as it pertains to this instant issue.  Feminism and by extension pretty much all American women desire to control men’s sexuality.  They will use their frigidity, or refusals to have sex, their anti-porn stance, and of course the all too common tactic of using sex as currency.  All of this boils down to not just women attempting to control men’s sexuality but women controlling the whole man.  If you have a woman like this it’s simply better to leave.  It will suck at first but in the end a man will be better off.  I have noticed that many frigid women and women who use sex as power have deep emotional issues and unresolved baggage in their lives.  All you have to do is talk to a feminist pansexual woman for only a few moments to smell the psychosis.  One study pegged over 20% of American women fall into this category.  Unfortunately these same women can behave themselves long enough to snare an unwitting man into a relationship with them.  As I said before the man should just leave her.  If for whatever personal or financial reasons a man decides to stay, he will have to game the shit out of her hard and be at the peak of his own emotional strength.

I found this post on Alpha Game to be a very entertaining and illuminating back and forth between an older Christian man denouncing Game and Deti, Vox and Yohami to name but a few.  The OP was originally about a socially inept liberal manboob’s rant calling Roissy an asshole for his writing about Game, women’s natural hypergamy, and essentially the poor state of things in our morally corrupt society that has gotten rid of all restrictions on bad female behavior while shaming men who exhibit positive masculine traits.   Unfortunately this is a common stance held by the majority of men who throughout their lives, have utterly failed with women and the White Knights who proclaim themselves followers of Christ.  (There are also many secular white knight manboobs.)  Both groups, while sometime differing in their ideology, cause great harm by encouraging women to not only behave badly but they give an air of acceptance to women’s poor behaviors and downplay the consequences of those behaviors.  They are also harmful in respect to misleading men by denying the true nature of women (they think they are all special snowflakes) and denying all levels of Game.

It’s interesting to note a few things found not in the article per se, but in the comment section.  The first issue of import is that all women are in fact sexual beings.  I even read something recently that stated that women are in fact more sexual than men.  I can see some truth in that.  For the sake of staying on topic we can put that aside for now. The important issue is that all men and women, in and out of the Church are members of the SMP.  Whether they are married or not is also irrelevant because even in marriage couple have sex, or at least they should be doing so, exclusively with each other of course.

As Deti stated here, even women in the Church are looking for sex with attractive men.  In fact some of these women may even have husbands.  You can go into any medium or large sized church and see that the women are dressed not for church but for the Sunday Morning Nightclub.  I think the short skirts and panty shots should be proof enough.  However too many men will try so hard to tell us aware men that these women are all good girls when in fact many of them are reformed (born again) sluts.

I encourage you to read the article and the comments for a pretty good debate that shows how Game is not only valid but a necessary component to not only meeting women but maintain a happy marriage.  I will point out that Game itself is not immoral.  Some aspect such as banging many different hot women may infuriate the moralist in some of you, but before you condemn game, lets condemn the behaviors of women and our society at large, like female sexual promiscuity and no fault divorce that gave rise to the necessity of Game in every man’s life and in every mans marriage.

Personally I like having sex with a variety of attractive women, but I prefer the special connection found only in a monogamous relationship with one woman I can love and trust.  However those women are exceedingly rare.  Because of this I am selective about the woman I have sex with by my choice, not social ineptitude.   Game and my naturally attractive persona give me this ability to not only make this choice but to be choosy.  Without Game I am susceptible to not only falling into beta behaviors in a comfortable monogamous relationship with a woman and thus would encourage the premature end to the relationship, I would only have 2nd or 3rd tier women to choose from or be chosen from.

I will mention that I do respect the privacy of the people I talk about.  However if their story has something to offer in the way of an example I am going to use their story while omitting certain identifiable information about them.  Many of my real world friends do read my essays and some of them can figure out who I am talking about, or maybe it’s them.  One friend I mentioned in an essay got a little mad at me because I wrote about him generally.  I think he felt shame for his behaviors more so than anything that I may have alluded to in writing.  However that same friend’s behaviors and attitude were such that they could have been attributed to any beta who consistently fails with women.  It’s not out of disrespect that I use their stories or my own personal observations about people I know.  It is in the spirit of helping others that I do what I do.

So yes if you want my advice about something and there is a bigger lesson to be talked about I am probably going to talk about you, but not you, just your story.

That is my disclaimer.

By :MonkeyWerks

Women hate to watch a man struggle; it makes them sick and their pussy as dry as popcorn farts.  They will make every excuse to run away from you as fast as they can unless of course you are that uber alpha rock band bass player.

When C broke ended our relationship, she did so because I am pretty broke. That night I had to ask her if she had really ever struggled in life, specifically financially.  I knew the real answer, but I had to ask anyways.

Some men have not had to struggle either, but I think most men have had times where they had to struggle financially and sometimes even to the point of being on the brink of losing everything.

Most of us when we go through hard times pick ourselves up and work to fixing the problems.  We scrimp and live frugally.  We change our lifestyle in order to reduce the need for financial resources.  In other words we adopt a simpler lifestyle.  Sometimes this simpler lifestyle gives us a means to a sort of financial independence.  I have seen many men who made large annual incomes yet although they had more “nice stuff” they did not have any independence and their overall happiness with their lives was lower.

As I see it financial independence is such that I could live my life and do what I want when I want.  This may not entail having the resources to become a jetsetter but being able to live comfortably on a minimal annual income stream has always been a goal of mine.  My current lifestyle allows me to work only a few hours per day.  With the income that comes in I can tend my garden and pursue many of my other interests.  Some of these pursuits also make money which offsets the costs of my various hobbies.  As things in my life stabilize, I believe that in the next 24 months I will be living a much more carefree life filling my days with my children’s laughter and the satisfaction of doing the things I most want to do.  That is freedom.  I don’t mind doing the hard work to live naturally and off of my land reloading my own ammo or working on my turbo cars.  Freedom does not necessitate I drive an $80,000 car or live in a 5000 sq/ft house.  A nice home on some land and my current collection of fast cars is plenty for me.  This was a goal I though even my ex-wife was interested in.

However, for many women my ideal would never be enough.  They would always want that big house, a big diamond and the expensive car to drive.  In their gut they will desire to acquire the symbols of social status, including the hot alpha man if they can pull it off, but a beta will do if he makes enough money.  Many women have been raised to expect this either by being brought up in a household with higher than average income or being married to or involved with successful (but beta) men.  Of course they need a man to work his ass of so she can realize her ambitions, which is the common denominator in all of this.  These women will trade whatever they need to and nothing more to secure a mans resources.  This can be her conditional sexual intimacy, children and even a cleverly disguised feigned genuine interest in the man’s goals and ambitions.  I have seen this far too often.  My ex-wife admitted this to me one day in not so many words and C has also admitted to me that they were both very interested and supportive of my ambitions until it became apparent they too would need to work hard and help me if they were to benefit from my labors.  These women acted the same differing only by degrees and detail in the execution of their overall plans to run away as soon as it became necessary that their hands might get dirty.  Upon realizing this I had decided I will never work for a woman ever again.  I will only work for me.  She may follow me and even possibly enjoy SOME of the fruits of my labors if she helps out, but she will never be either the motivation or the sole recipient of these fruits.  I will never buy a woman a house or car.  I will not pay for her hobbies such as her horses.  The only thing she offered me was sex and escorts and young sluts can provide that if necessary and for a much lower overall cost.  Most women will make excuses and run whenever it became necessary for them to help their man out a jam.  This is why it is important to never rely on a woman or her help in order for you to realize your goals.  Of course this was not always the situation, but it now seems the norm with the modern woman.

My ex-wife is living the typical post divorce lifestyle.  I really do feel bad for her, but the choice was all hers and so are the consequences.  She seems to be just getting by but is not doing well by any means.  Many of my influences, such as simple and holistic living, have rubbed off on her and her current lifestyle depicts this, but her execution of my influences is terribly flawed, which is why she will always struggle financially until she either gets remarried or gets a higher paying job thus trading much of her freedom of choice for more financial security. She would also have to stop homeschooling our daughters at this time.  Between her added expenses of paying for her own household without my help and her desire to keep my children away from me, she is running ragged by her situation and it shows.  She is starting to look like shit.  She needs a roommate to help her financially because she is unable to afford live on her income alone.  She eschewed being married to me, a loving and faithful husband who worked hard for his family and a father for our children to living with various other women with their (probable illegitimate) children which only accelerates my daughters being fucked up even more.  She will have no choice, like most divorced women, but to find (settle for) and marry a man who can (put her on a pedestal) provide for her financially.  My mother did this, my brother’s fiancé with her 3 children from 3 different men is doing this with my brother and C had been attempting to groom me to do this for her. Almost every other divorced woman I know or have met aspires to this same end if they have not already succeeded in securing their provider chump after their run on the carousel.  This illuminates several other problems and issues I will address in later essays but suffice it to say although she has tried I won’t be this fucking guy.  However, this essay is not about my ex-wife, it is about my former lover C.

I am going to use her as an example because it is a perfect one in my opinion, to show how the modern woman thinks in these and similar situations.  It also shows why I have no desire to bust my ass for an older slutty woman, a single mother, a reborn again Christian virgin, or a feminist.  In Financial Frame I explained some of the dynamics at play.  One thing I want to mention is that she made a very big deal about how she made more money than me.  I personally did not have a problem with that personally, but she did.  She stated that men feel inferior when their woman earns more. I think that Rollo had it right when he wrote about this dynamic conflicting with her Hypergamic nature,

She was raised in an upper middle class home with a SAHM and had never had to go hungry or worry if there was money to buy shoes.  Her parents have more than $3 million in the bank from what I understand.  In and of itself that’s good.  My family was quite poor growing up and I don’t wish than on anyone.  When she graduated high school at 18 she was engaged to and lived with a guy and apparently she worked but they were pretty broke.  Now to be fair, her parents made her work from a young age and instilled a good work ethic in her.  In this regard she was awesome and at first I thought she would be an asset to my endeavors, but as was shown above, she only expended her energies for things that would benefit her directly and immediately.  The two main drawbacks to her upbringing are that her mother is a narcissist and due to inadequate bonding caused C to have acquired a form of Borderline Personality Disorder as many American women currently have to some degree and she was brought up by her beta father to be a Strong Independent Woman®.  As I incorrectly assumed that my wife would assist me in getting back on track, I also erroneously assumed that C would also assist me in setting up a life that we both could benefit from and enjoy. That was apparently not the case.

Continuing with her story, when she was about 20 she moved in with a 40 year old man she worked for a within a week after they started dating.  This man was also broke from the divorce he JUST went through although he owned the company she worked for.  So because she worked for her future fiancé she was getting a paycheck and he was unable to draw a sufficient one for himself the first year.  She helped pay their bills during this time.  After a year he was apparently back on his feet and all was well in her world.  He bought her some horses and a farm in order to have them at home.  To give you an idea on this man’s wealth he owned a ½ million dollar boat race team.  He died after they were together for about 13 years and she inherited the bulk of his estate, not his children from what I understand.  They never ended up getting married and he committed suicide when she left him, at least that’s her story.  She could have been fucking everyone behind his back for all I know.

She seemed to have been an asset for this man.  Judging by her stories she helped with the boat team and was integral in the operation of his companies.  It is apparent that this man made her an alpha widow.  Allegedly, he was her 3rd sexual partner and the last before she became unable to pair bond to another man.  She told me she had about 6 other sexual partners after him and I was her 10th.  Yeah right.  It became obvious that because this man’s history, situation, including having 2 daughters and our personalities being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  Furthermore, it just grated on me when she made comparisons between he and I. I did call her out on that shit when it occurred and ignored her for a week or so.  Out of her admitted number of past sexual partners there were 3 STR with lesser alphas or greater betas, and the rest were likely pretty beta. I can only surmise by listening to her talk about these men and asking questions. Thankfully, I was wise enough to see from the beginning she had been searching for her first alpha’s replacement by engaging in serial monogamy coupled with a young fuck buddy and a couple of Craigslist hookups with her playing the unicorn.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago and this is where we met.  She could not afford groceries, she never had much if any cash available and she ALWAYS used her credit cards to buy everything.  I think she had like a dozen of them at this time.

Her financial picture is as follows.  She spent about ½ the estate she inherited on her horses to the tune of more than $250k-$300k.  She works as a secretary for a company making over $50k/year.  When we met she was deeply in debt to the tune of $105k for credit cards and about $300k for real-estate for a total debt load of $405k.  With her other assets she is about $200k in the black.  Not good at all, her liabilities really offset her otherwise considerable assets.  And she is only a secretary with no education, which is interesting. At her rate of burning through her finances she would have been broke long before she was able to retire had I not taught her how to fix her situation.  Now she is in a much better financial position and she has been able to retain 90% of her assets while reducing her considerable liabilities.  I was happy to assist her in the off chance I ended up deciding to commit to her for the long term, but as it turned out I would need her help in the future.

She apparently slept with all the right men until she met me. All of the other men made good money at their jobs.  I even saw a past email she wrote to a friend where she boasted that four men she was dating consecutively all made over $100k/yr.  When I read this her real intentions became crystal clear to me.

Between business challenges and my wife leaving me I was both an emotional and financial wreck.  I sold some assets to barely live off of for the first year.  It was hard and things got shut off from time to time but I made it.  I will admit she did help me out in small ways, but never in a way that would have alleviated any of the considerable pressure I was under at the time.  When she ended the relationship, at a time I REALLY needed her help, she stated very clearly that, “if I am with you I would feel obligated to help you, so in order for me to not feel this obligation I have decided to end this relationship between us”.  She also stated afterwards, “I feel guilty about doing this, so can you just tell me it’s ok, (for being a bitch -my thoughts) so I won’t feel so bad about this?”  I cannot even comment on the selfishness of her words and how her hamster must be running at light speed.  She also mumbled something about all the other men wearing her out.  I think I chuckled at that. I know that it was a nuclear shit test in the order of 100 megatons.  This one was even bigger than the ones she gave about me banging younger woman because she is too old and how I blew off her concerns about the woman I fucked a couple of times during our most recent break up.  The only way I could have diffused this one was when I told her that I am fine with her leaving if she was that selfish and really trying to meaning it.  Either way, I failed in defusing that particular bomb.  I am now indifferent to her, which may even make her want to come back to me, unfortunately.  I had to call her last night (about 3 days after breakup) for some information she had that I needed and I was pretty well indifferent to her.  She asked how I was doing, feigning concern, and I flatly told her I was doing well (I am honestly) and I was hustling up more work.  I never asked how she was doing, nor did I particularly care to be honest.  She did however make it clear she was alone on a Saturday night.  I figured she would be out mining for men again, but I think she mentioned something about her going back to online dating in the spring which is mating season after all.

I will be more diligent of assuming a more amused mastery in my future relationships because ALL WOMEN ARE IN FACT JUST LIKE HER and women do not have any empathy for a man’s problems.  She had to make she also told me she always had money to pay for her stuff, and “she liked her nice stuff”.  Maybe that’s how she managed to burn through so much of her money on just bullshit with nothing of any real value to show.  Her shit test was her hamster validating her rationalizations for leaving me because she did not want to loan me $1000.  That was all I needed and she had the money.  I would have paid her back in 60 – 90 days and I offered her sufficient collateral for this loan.  I hated even having to ask her for this loan for my own egotistical reasons, but if she did loan me the money it would have saved me a bunch of grief.

She never had to struggle financially even when her finances were pretty well fucked before I formulated the plan for her to get out of her pretty dire situation which helped save her ass from impending financial doom.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Like her, most women who are currently or were in the past subsidized by a man (or several men) will refuse to help the man in her life when and should he need it either with physical work and her time or financial help, especially if it would require that she went without a comfort item for a short period of time like buying a new piece of equipment for her hobby.  Women seem to have no moral imperative to do what would be considered right or selfless by men’s standards. I have a friend, who if I asked for his help, he would help even possibly to his own detriment, because he is a good friend and he is knows I would do the same for him. I have FINALLY learned to NEVER ask a woman for help.  Even if I have to sell my ass, it is better than asking for a woman’s assistance on anything in life.  Just to be clear I have no intention of selling my ass or becoming a homo, it was only an example.

This essay might sound whiny and yes, I am bitching about her fucked up thinking, but she really illuminated some very important issues and she showed me who she really is as a person and proved to me that modern women are in fact really fucked up. Her actions and words were very clear and convincing evidence that women don’t suffer like men, a woman will not help a man even if she could because just by virtue of the man needing her help reduces or eliminates his attractiveness to her and no woman want to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions.

I realized that I never intended to be with her long term because I was seeing her as more and more undesirable by the day.  I knew I could and would do so much better as soon as I got on my feet again and pulled my head out of my ass.  She was too old, had way too many cocks, was an alpha widow and in the end argumentative and domineering.  Her pussy was fun but in the end that’s about all she brought to the table.  As it turns out the best thing happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates dammit.

Please comment if any of you have seen similar situations happen.  I am interested in hearing your stories.

By: MonkeyWerks

I wish my father explained theses things better to me.  In fact I am going to write a list for a future article on what my father should have taught me but didn’t.  This lesson I never received bit me in the ass hard.  Vox wrote this article that illustrated the importance of this lesson.

Women fall into two different categories for most men, who we will fuck and who we will fuck and then marry.  Most men will fuck any woman who is above a HB5 depending on circumstances, which is most women, so having a “will not fuck” list for a man is immaterial.

My beautiful ex wife was an HB8 to me, tall blonde and blue, just the way I like them.   As it turned out, on the surface she had the looks and the attitude for being a good wife for life, but in reality should have been on the bang list only.  She was a hardcore feminist and dressed in ways that were generally not feminine and were also not slutty like many of the woman I was meeting time.  Very rarely did I see her in dresses or any sexy clothes, and even now she refuses to wear a sun dress in the summer, but that may change as she hunts for a new chump husband.  Unfortunately, I took her manner of dress to mean she was not a slut like so many of the attractive young women I was meeting.  Instead she was all the way opposite and had no idea what it meant to be a real feminine woman, nor was she taught any other traditional values or domestic skills.  I must have thought at the time that she would be more faithful, which in a way she might have been because I don’t think she was sexually unfaithful during our marriage, but I will never know for certain.  She was just not faithful in the other ways that also mattered.

The lesson is that looks matter to us men for the initial attraction but it is how a woman acts in general that will mitigate even her very good looks and lower her MMV.  As my wife looked like she was much less of a slut than her sister feminists, she did give it up on the 3rd date as I expected her to do.  In her defense I did pull out all of the stops in my seductions.  She never had a chance.  However, it was then that I should have downgraded her to the bang list.  Her becoming more feminine never materialized and as our marriage dragged on she became less and less like the good and sexy wife of my youth and more of our typical, yet still reasonably attractive radical feminists Christians. It really started to go downhill for her and us when she added a bunch of her Church™ nonsense into the mix of her identity.

Dalrock’s comment was quite interesting:

I look forward to the series. One thing which strikes me about the topic is the flip side to the fact that women can bang higher SMV men than they can marry, and that is that men can (generally) marry higher SMV women than they can bang. The first is pretty universally recognized in the sphere, but I don’t see the latter discussed. One corroborating data point is how often a man’s mistress is of a lower SMV than his wife, especially if the wife is still young. (I have always heard that your mistress should always be less attractive than your wife.  I would hope Dalrock or someone could elaborate more on this piece of advice and its origins). ROM

I figured my wife had a lower SMV than I when we met, and we were about even when we married.  She was hot, educated and had a low partner count, from what I have been told at least.  I was attractive and was making good money and owned a business when we met, but joined the Marines soon after September 11, and my income and options went to shit for 4 years.

How the women look and act in the very beginning will help you determine which list to put her on.  She may go from the Bride list to the Bang list, but rarely do they get promoted to Bride from Bang.  As I like to say, trust your gut.  It is rarely wrong.  If your initial feeling was Bang list then keep her there.  Remember, you can’t turn a whore into a housewife.  You will tank me and Vox for it later.

Read this article about doing a Gut Check and trusting your instincts.