Posts Tagged ‘Child custody’

Both of my parents were brought up in two parent families and both sets of my grandparents remained married until death.  When one of them died they remained unmarried and as far as I know didn’t have any special “friends”.

My parents divorced when I was 12.

Things are better now and it will be ok.

I wonder how moms and dads can say that to their children with a straight face when they tell them that the family is splitting up.

Men and women who do not come from a broken family have no frame of reference of the pain that children feel.  Furthermore the attitude that a child will be ok is just plain arrogant.  I will say that the pain for a child is 1000 times worse than it is for the parents, who can replace their spouse with another.  Kids cannot replace their moms and dads that way.

For the parents that come from broken homes, they should just know better.

Things were not ok.

 

Additional Reading:

Denying that marriage has moral meaning is the new virtue. – Dalrock

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fSYtDJD

I found this article through Empathologism’s site and found it to be quite interesting in that it is consistent to what I have pointed out in some of my recent essays.  Before we get into the overall theme, I want to point how this article and this site in general seems to encourage beta behaviors as it also caters to a primarily female audience under the auspice of helping men in their marriages.  It is important to point out directly that if a man does indeed follow the advice given, it is likely it would negatively affect the happiness of both partners and probably lead to the premature ending of the relationship.

As Anonymous commented on Empath’s article:

The article is deeply flawed as relationship advice because the problem is stated in such broad and fuzzy terms as to be almost without meaning. Empath hit it : what problem is to be solved, here? By lumping in all sorts of visual behavior into one, catch-all category “looking at other women” the author conflates many different male actions with “bad”.

Whatever the intent of the author (and I am not so kind as Empath) the effect is to give a blank cheque to women’s demands. No matter how strictly a man may control his eye muscles, from time to time in the Western world he will see a pretty woman, and by declaring the simple act of “looking” to be a crime or a sin, men are set up in the “Nothing you can ever do will be good enough for me” pedestalization trap.

There is a not very subtle dominance issue in the original article – men are to be accountable to women, period. Oh, and apparently to God as well, but women first. So the standard Churchian hierarchy is reinforced: God > women > men > children.

Although as always, there is more than a whiff of: women > God > men > children, even though it would be stoutly denied by the original author and the various female commenters. But frankly, “God says you have to do what I say!” does bleed over from the first hierarchy into the second without much effort. […]

[‘’’] Even if the author is well meaning, he’s just fanning fears. I’m sure that there are women who will find the article and who were sorta content with their husband / LTR, but who after reading it will find themselves compulsively watching his eyes in order to see what he’s looking at, then taking notes for future reference. So as with so many other “advice” articles, the author is creating trouble in other people’s lives by playing on the fears of women.

In the end, it’s just another example of how the notion that women must control men, and men must submit to women, has become shot through all aspects of at least US society.

(emphasis mine)

Most of the aforementioned article represents two separate but related issues that need clarifying.  The first is that women will often act hypocritically.  In this article and other on the site, they are flavored with men bad>women good either overtly or implicitly.  However when men understand women’s behaviors and motivations it will help us navigate through the various minefields and shit tests that will inevitably come our way.   This is part of the feminine primary social conditioning that the ‘sphere has illuminated over the last decade or so.

topless11n-5-web

Men should never notice this.

 

It is worth noting that the comment section represents the various shit tests these women gave their partners and the results of their partners failing and them.  At first, I thought that the women who get upset at their men looking at other women were possibly mate guarding behaviors, but mate guarding would entail that woman actively try to please her husband all of the time and thus keep him interested and invested in their marriage.  However, that attitude was not shown in any of the comments, nor was it presented in the article.  In fact Smith put the entire onus on the man to somehow suppress his natural urge to look at beautiful women.  When considering preselection and women’s attraction triggers, a man who looks at another woman and especially other women showing interests in him normally trigger behaviors in the woman that would reinforce her attraction to her husband.  This would manifest as behaviors such as the woman being more sexually available to the man and a likely increase in a woman’s general submissiveness to her husband.  This is the proper context of mate guarding behaviors and as such should have been mentioned by Smith.  Instead he promoted the general fem-centric view that woman should control men via a man’s sexuality by essentially encouraging the tactic of the women throwing a temper tantrum until a she gets her way.

A brief reading of the comments, which were mostly a repeating of the same mantra, show us that women have no understanding of men and our sexual impulses, nor does it seem that most women are in fact really interested in learning how to improve their relationships.  One such natural and normal impulse is when a man glances and even starts at a beautiful woman.  The feminine imperative tries to shame men and tell them that we are wrong and we should “bow our heads” and divert our eyes” in a perverted display of submission and supplication to the feminine goddess.  As I stated in my comment to his article:

Women have no right to castrate men’s natural urges to appreciate other women.  As one respected writer (Empath) indicated “women generally feel a strong inclination towards letting their morals be guided by their emotions”.  That is probably the underlying cause of a majority of frivolous divorces, only to be spurned on by shit article like this that give women the moral cover they desperately seek.  These same women would set aside their high morals when it comes time to divorce their husbands, proving the above statement.  It’s all about you honey, aint it?

I suspect that the majority of the women who take issue with this are at, or have already hit the wall.  All the comments showed was that overwhelmingly these women are very insecure and not content in their relationships.  I suspect that their men simply look at women who are much hotter than themselves.  I wonder if these women honestly assessed themselves and made themselves more attractive to their men by growing out their hair, losing weight, and being sexually more available and exciting how much less this would be a problem in their relationships.  Of course that would mean they would have to stop being delusional and maybe appreciate their husbands more, but I digress.  The women who got their panties all twisted up seem to constantly need the affirmations and reassurances of their beta husbands that they are the most beautiful women in the world to them, blah, blah, blah.  I pointed out in my comment that no, that with a lot of men their wives are in fact NOT the most beautiful women in his eyes.   It is not hard to notice that with the typical married woman, they gain weight, cut their hair short and it seems deliberately make themselves unattractive.  Even in cases where a man’s wife is still a hottie, men should use caution in telling her this all of the time.  In many cases (with the typical woman) this just adds to her already excessively large ego.  Nothing good comes out of pussy worship.  I will add that in a healthy relationship a man shows his wife his attraction for her on a daily basis through his actions, and a woman with a healthy attitude accepts this as his affirmation of love and attraction.  What we commonly see is that too many women have unhealthy attitudes and expectations.

Fat_chicks_1   Many mens wives.

If I can point at one important thing I learned is that women are responsible for their own feeling, good or bad.  It’s not something men are responsible for in this age of female fickleness and general flakey behavior. Smith adds to this by encouraging the delusions of these women.  He has several articles about how husbands are not attracted to and do not want to have sex with their wives.  The comment sections were hamsterbation in the first degree.  Reading many of the comments on some of his articles it is apparent that many of these women are seeking validation for their behaviors which simply turn their partners off.

My comment was met with the typical white knight shaming language from the author and of course he preemptively dismissed the entire context and premise of what I said;

Michael, You’re correct that insecurities can drive some of the conflict between partners on this subject. However, so can how many men look at other women in such a disrespectful way. Many of your points can apply to both men and women. I wish you had chosen to present them in a more balanced manner, because unfortunately your one-sided, angry approach is going to cause your points to get dismissed. –Kurt

(emphasis mine)

There are two quiz’s on his site, one for men to see how shitty of a husband he is, and another is for wives so they can validate their feelings that their husbands are in fact shitty.  Below is the pitch.

Guys

  • Are you a good husband? Learn more about yourself, take the quiz and see how you rate
  • Learn what women really want from their husbands
  • Discover ways to be a better husband

Ladies

  • Want to know what kind of husband you have? Take the quiz and see how your husband rates
  • Learn how to get the husband you’ve always dreamed of

The questions were typical and I received the grade I expected.

new york street style high heels short dress almost showing off ass and legs fashion by he

How can you not look?

Maddy 078

A fun and yet informative article on why sex everyday is very good indeed for marriages.  I would suspect this same attitude would benefit any LTR as well.  It comes on the heels of The Spreadsheet Couples troubles which would not have occurred if the woman followed Meg Conley’s advice. I have to agree with much of what this writer said and would think that her marriage, like others where the wife has a healthy attitude about sex, are likely very happy not only in their marriages but in life as well.  Of course I am a man and when my lovers approach sex like this it does make the relationship oh so much better.

The most important thing I noticed is that in the comment section you can see the truth about our society’s general attitude about sex and specifically sex in marriage.  Our society’s women by an overwhelming majority had devolved its notions of human sexuality.  I expected to read that no man should ever expect sex and how being a mother is somehow so degrading and unempowering.  Well what the fuck is modern marriage for then?  I was of course not disappointed.  No wonder our birth rates are so low and our divorce rates are so high.  Why would a man want to reproduce with such a creature that is the modern empowered woman?  Unfortunately the plugged men in often do.  The comment section essentially became a tirade by these feminists and the dutiful white knights supporting them.  It’s fun to look at these men’s profiles and see that they are fat bastards with peculiar hobbies.  I will briefly mention that if white knights would stop reproducing already or just take the red pill it would go a long way to finally killing off feminism.  However it is only when we put controls back on women’s hypergamy will we see improvements.  Unfortunately it will require the help of the AFC’s and white knights to accomplish this.

The feminists completely freaked out over one statement the author made that being a mother is “one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood”.  That statement is actually highly accurate and I would think that being a mother IS the ultimate expression of womanhood.  The feminists and the white knights, who outnumber the rational folks by a very uncomfortable margin as they always seem to do, go on and on about how it is not right and somehow immoral to see women as having children and God forbid, want to have sex and desire to please their husbands, as the normal beautiful thing it is. When you see a woman who has a positive and healthy attitude about sex, you see her man as also happy and wanting to give her happiness and pleasure.  It’s a self feeding circle of marital bliss.  Several of these women also criticized the author’s over simplification of men’s basic needs, where she said that if we are well fed and well fucked, men are usually pretty happy.  I think many of these types of comments were made by women who simply didn’t want to have sex with their husbands.  I don’t think I can disagree with that statement because nothing says I love you to a man like an awesome sammich before or after some really good sex.

What is ironic is that the women who could not have children for whatever reason really fly off the handle.  Many comments open discuss this.  These women have finally realized that that they cannot have it all as they face the wall and spinsterhood.  Some will snag their beta, but as the words used in the comments, many remain unmarried.  I sense a lot of guilt and regret in those comments, but solipsism and the feminine imperative keeps them from acknowledging their own responsibility for their very own failures.  Many of these commentators then make claims that defy nature and biology.  What these women fail to realize is that their attitudes are hurting their own happiness.  When there is relational equality, there is bad sex and unhappy partners.  You can almost see the bitter tears through the comments.  What the comments from the women boiled down to was that they had all sorts of insecurities about not being attracted to, and attractive to their husbands, being infertile, not being able to orgasm and of course the whole working mother thing and all of its related stresses.  The ideology that these women so believe in is the very same belief system that is the source of all of their unhappiness.

Another issue I want to take to task is that you have many women’s comments speak of how hard it is to work and be a mother and wife.  It is easy to see that all of the working mothers really hate on the SAHM.  Maybe if they reduced their expenditures and did things more traditionally like, oh the woman stays at home and raises the children and takes care of her husband.  It is really out there to think like that, I know.  Modern women will have nothing to do with this notion because raising a family and keeping your man happy is degrading and goes against the branding of the Strong and Independent Woman™.

It has been shown over and over again, and this article just proves it yet again, that the typical modern woman hates everything about masculine sexuality.  That is the medium of the message that you will read in every article from the one above to this one where essentially the same things are discussed.

poss-sella

Ironically I found the above picture from a magazine article from the 1960’s on the same feminist’s blog.  These women there also criticize the wisdom of the advice given and even go so far as to claim that those values never really existed.  It when I read women talk about these issues I again am reminded that Feminism really is a mental disorder.

The commentators overwhelmingly bash on the one red pill guy who just happens to agree with me, yet he and his ardent supporters of rational thinkers were greatly outnumbered.  As I stated yesterday to a white knight defending feminine imperative:

It could be he was trying to gain their approval in an effort to test the waters because he thinks spanking might be a good idea (unlikely), or he was entering into their frame as a white knight so that he could show these women how great and special he is because he not like that sadistic monkey over at The Reinvention of Man who like to spank his lovers asses red and then have wild sex with them (likely)

Or as Rollo puts it:

“What interested me most about this ‘discussion’ wasn’t just the intensity of the responses, but also how quickly and comfortably the Plugins were in their need to set the “troglodytes” straight. You see, in our disconnected lives it’s much more difficult to express our ideology without real-time social repercussions. We can get fired from a job, kicked out of our social circle, excommunicated from church or not be asked back to the lady’s bridge club when we venture a disenting perspective on a great many topics.”

Essentially the majority of the comments by women call childbearing unnatural, degrading, and unnecessary.  I wonder what how they would react if their mothers though of them as disgusting little parasites, as some of these women called little babies.  Apparently these women failed their biology and sex-ed classes.

One woman tried to enter some logic into the exchange and actually gets close to seeing it.

Cameron Mcmahan , I feel sorry for you…Advice for future…When you are a guy, you cannot make any comment which can in the farthest sense be considered anti-feminist…No matter how valid it is….

I think that the point Mr. Cameron Mcmahan is trying to make is that every species has the main target to survive. There have been many scientific researches about it and have been extrapolated to human species…Why are peacocks beautiful?? Why does lion have a mane?? Why in every species the male is given the extra plumes to impress females?? That is nature’s law…. If you believe that human species is different then that is your opinion and it is equally valid whether me or Mr. Cameron Mcmahan agree with it or not.

Fertile or Infertile, the pleasure of holding , developing and if possible creating a life and a baby IS unbeatable…I have never felt as invincible as on the day the doctor held those tiny feet and told me that you are a mom now…I have friends who have adopted children and they felt the same way when they held their baby for the first time…

I don’t believe that both genders should be treated equal … because they are not “comparable”… I do not believe that creating a good marriage and having children is anyway demeaning…I, for one, am proud to have that role… And yeah, I have been a working woman for a pretty long time and DID give it up entirely by choice and to all the feminists, there is nothing bad about it…

If you do not wish to have children or cannot have children, its ok…you dont have to defend it…you do not need to prove anything to anyone…The fact that you are defending it just goes to show that you have some doubts about your decisions…

So this begs two questions. Is childbearing one of the ultimate expressions of womanhood, or is it THE ultimate expression?  And, would marriages be better if the wife was more giving in sex as an expression of her commitment, love and respect for her husband?

A good video from a friend of mine about the monies that are transferred from producers (men) to parasites (many women).  Watch the video and check out Terrence Popp’s other videos on You Tube.

 

I will mention that I do respect the privacy of the people I talk about.  However if their story has something to offer in the way of an example I am going to use their story while omitting certain identifiable information about them.  Many of my real world friends do read my essays and some of them can figure out who I am talking about, or maybe it’s them.  One friend I mentioned in an essay got a little mad at me because I wrote about him generally.  I think he felt shame for his behaviors more so than anything that I may have alluded to in writing.  However that same friend’s behaviors and attitude were such that they could have been attributed to any beta who consistently fails with women.  It’s not out of disrespect that I use their stories or my own personal observations about people I know.  It is in the spirit of helping others that I do what I do.

So yes if you want my advice about something and there is a bigger lesson to be talked about I am probably going to talk about you, but not you, just your story.

That is my disclaimer.

A little Christmas Cheer for the STBX.

As for the girls, like you, I also don’t think they need their father.  You mentioned some nonsense to me before about how daughters needing their daddy’s but I am sure you were just trying to manipulate me into doing something for you at the time and you could not have really meant what you said.  Your present actions speak louder than some wayward conversation we may have had in the distant past anyways.  You and I both know that the courts think the same way and that fathers are an unnecessary component to any child upbringing.  Also the courts are never concerned with the wellbeing of men or how they will be able to survive nor should they be.

Maybe you have another man to replace me that you think would be better for them, or maybe he romances you better than I ever did.  Women in their 30’s are easily finding good husbands to marry them, and you are still relatively attractive for your age so you should have no problem meeting that perfect man to marry you.  And you won’ t even have to settle for any man you’re not head over heels in love with like you had to do with me.  Either way, as you expressed to me numerous times you want me out of their lives, so I am out, and I am making this choice willingly.  That means I don’t want to know anything about them and of course I don’t want any of the responsibility.  You cannot have your cake and eat it too you know.

So I decided that because you don’t want me in their lives I should just forget about them and just go back to the life I was living before we met, which was actually quite fun and exciting before meeting you.  I figure I can enjoy being a bachelor like I did before, partying with various young women doing what I want without consequence and I won’t have to worry about kids or anything else but myself.  It’s not like I would ever get the full commitment of any woman in my life.  I have even been thinking again about getting a vasectomy which I seriously wanted to do before I even met you.  That way I won’t have to be concerned with any more sudden and unplanned surprises.  Anyway it’s not like you really wanted to have sex all that much, nor will we ever do so again in the future.  As for remarriage, I see no point as it was a mistake the first time marrying any woman, because this is what always happens to us men or at least 90% of us because you women often are the ones who decide you don’t need us anymore for whatever reason.  Plus it’s just not popular to marry anymore.  We are only good for sperm donations and its time men should realize this and quit complaining.  The Rules have changed after all, plus I am sure you feel regret for not being able to have more fun when you were young.  I knew the risks, as did you.

Divorce is a good thing because your happiness is the most important thing you can ever strive for and Tara, you do deserve happiness irregardless of what you might have to do to get it and regardless of what anyone may think or say about what you are doing.  You have your pride after all.  Some people won’t understand all the crap and abuse you had to go through being married to me and how you say I committed adultery by looking at porn.  They may even try to tell you the kids will be messed up from their parents splitting up.  Don’t listen to them.  They do not know what they are talking about.  I know before you left me you had thought a lot about how much better your life would be without having a husband (like me) to think about.  Now that you left you are living the dream and soon you will be able to cash in.  All the power to live your life as you see fit is yours.  You have seen so many other woman succeed at what you’re doing such as your mother and my mother and things are good for both of them so why won’t they be for you too.  Both of them ended up very well I think.  Their children are no worse for going through the experience and most of their hardships were only temporary.

I thought this would be the best present I could give you and the girls.  As soon as you file for divorce and expedite its review, you can take everything I have left and rape me with child support payments I cannot afford, nor will I ever pay.  Then I will have to leave the area or maybe even the country for somewhere that’s more interesting so I can be free from you and the man.  I know if I sell the rest of my stuff I can live comfortably in Thailand for a few years or more.  I see no reason to stick around here seeing as I won’t have any more contact with you or my progeny as per your desires.

This letter is not a joke or a parody, quite the opposite.  This letter is just my acceptance of the present reality of the situation, our current laws, and your general dislike and disregard for me.  I suppose it’s the last stage of my grief and all of that so I am now good to finally move on.  I am happy I have finally gotten to this point.  Again this is not a joke, I feel much better about my being single again.  Aren’t you relived that I finally accept the inevitable and will give you the girls 100% so I can go off and party and do my own thing and leave you alone?  That is what you told me you wanted after all so as a gift I am giving it to you.  Sorry I didn’t have a bow.

BTW, Merry Christmas.

By :MonkeyWerks

Women hate to watch a man struggle; it makes them sick and their pussy as dry as popcorn farts.  They will make every excuse to run away from you as fast as they can unless of course you are that uber alpha rock band bass player.

When C broke ended our relationship, she did so because I am pretty broke. That night I had to ask her if she had really ever struggled in life, specifically financially.  I knew the real answer, but I had to ask anyways.

Some men have not had to struggle either, but I think most men have had times where they had to struggle financially and sometimes even to the point of being on the brink of losing everything.

Most of us when we go through hard times pick ourselves up and work to fixing the problems.  We scrimp and live frugally.  We change our lifestyle in order to reduce the need for financial resources.  In other words we adopt a simpler lifestyle.  Sometimes this simpler lifestyle gives us a means to a sort of financial independence.  I have seen many men who made large annual incomes yet although they had more “nice stuff” they did not have any independence and their overall happiness with their lives was lower.

As I see it financial independence is such that I could live my life and do what I want when I want.  This may not entail having the resources to become a jetsetter but being able to live comfortably on a minimal annual income stream has always been a goal of mine.  My current lifestyle allows me to work only a few hours per day.  With the income that comes in I can tend my garden and pursue many of my other interests.  Some of these pursuits also make money which offsets the costs of my various hobbies.  As things in my life stabilize, I believe that in the next 24 months I will be living a much more carefree life filling my days with my children’s laughter and the satisfaction of doing the things I most want to do.  That is freedom.  I don’t mind doing the hard work to live naturally and off of my land reloading my own ammo or working on my turbo cars.  Freedom does not necessitate I drive an $80,000 car or live in a 5000 sq/ft house.  A nice home on some land and my current collection of fast cars is plenty for me.  This was a goal I though even my ex-wife was interested in.

However, for many women my ideal would never be enough.  They would always want that big house, a big diamond and the expensive car to drive.  In their gut they will desire to acquire the symbols of social status, including the hot alpha man if they can pull it off, but a beta will do if he makes enough money.  Many women have been raised to expect this either by being brought up in a household with higher than average income or being married to or involved with successful (but beta) men.  Of course they need a man to work his ass of so she can realize her ambitions, which is the common denominator in all of this.  These women will trade whatever they need to and nothing more to secure a mans resources.  This can be her conditional sexual intimacy, children and even a cleverly disguised feigned genuine interest in the man’s goals and ambitions.  I have seen this far too often.  My ex-wife admitted this to me one day in not so many words and C has also admitted to me that they were both very interested and supportive of my ambitions until it became apparent they too would need to work hard and help me if they were to benefit from my labors.  These women acted the same differing only by degrees and detail in the execution of their overall plans to run away as soon as it became necessary that their hands might get dirty.  Upon realizing this I had decided I will never work for a woman ever again.  I will only work for me.  She may follow me and even possibly enjoy SOME of the fruits of my labors if she helps out, but she will never be either the motivation or the sole recipient of these fruits.  I will never buy a woman a house or car.  I will not pay for her hobbies such as her horses.  The only thing she offered me was sex and escorts and young sluts can provide that if necessary and for a much lower overall cost.  Most women will make excuses and run whenever it became necessary for them to help their man out a jam.  This is why it is important to never rely on a woman or her help in order for you to realize your goals.  Of course this was not always the situation, but it now seems the norm with the modern woman.

My ex-wife is living the typical post divorce lifestyle.  I really do feel bad for her, but the choice was all hers and so are the consequences.  She seems to be just getting by but is not doing well by any means.  Many of my influences, such as simple and holistic living, have rubbed off on her and her current lifestyle depicts this, but her execution of my influences is terribly flawed, which is why she will always struggle financially until she either gets remarried or gets a higher paying job thus trading much of her freedom of choice for more financial security. She would also have to stop homeschooling our daughters at this time.  Between her added expenses of paying for her own household without my help and her desire to keep my children away from me, she is running ragged by her situation and it shows.  She is starting to look like shit.  She needs a roommate to help her financially because she is unable to afford live on her income alone.  She eschewed being married to me, a loving and faithful husband who worked hard for his family and a father for our children to living with various other women with their (probable illegitimate) children which only accelerates my daughters being fucked up even more.  She will have no choice, like most divorced women, but to find (settle for) and marry a man who can (put her on a pedestal) provide for her financially.  My mother did this, my brother’s fiancé with her 3 children from 3 different men is doing this with my brother and C had been attempting to groom me to do this for her. Almost every other divorced woman I know or have met aspires to this same end if they have not already succeeded in securing their provider chump after their run on the carousel.  This illuminates several other problems and issues I will address in later essays but suffice it to say although she has tried I won’t be this fucking guy.  However, this essay is not about my ex-wife, it is about my former lover C.

I am going to use her as an example because it is a perfect one in my opinion, to show how the modern woman thinks in these and similar situations.  It also shows why I have no desire to bust my ass for an older slutty woman, a single mother, a reborn again Christian virgin, or a feminist.  In Financial Frame I explained some of the dynamics at play.  One thing I want to mention is that she made a very big deal about how she made more money than me.  I personally did not have a problem with that personally, but she did.  She stated that men feel inferior when their woman earns more. I think that Rollo had it right when he wrote about this dynamic conflicting with her Hypergamic nature,

She was raised in an upper middle class home with a SAHM and had never had to go hungry or worry if there was money to buy shoes.  Her parents have more than $3 million in the bank from what I understand.  In and of itself that’s good.  My family was quite poor growing up and I don’t wish than on anyone.  When she graduated high school at 18 she was engaged to and lived with a guy and apparently she worked but they were pretty broke.  Now to be fair, her parents made her work from a young age and instilled a good work ethic in her.  In this regard she was awesome and at first I thought she would be an asset to my endeavors, but as was shown above, she only expended her energies for things that would benefit her directly and immediately.  The two main drawbacks to her upbringing are that her mother is a narcissist and due to inadequate bonding caused C to have acquired a form of Borderline Personality Disorder as many American women currently have to some degree and she was brought up by her beta father to be a Strong Independent Woman®.  As I incorrectly assumed that my wife would assist me in getting back on track, I also erroneously assumed that C would also assist me in setting up a life that we both could benefit from and enjoy. That was apparently not the case.

Continuing with her story, when she was about 20 she moved in with a 40 year old man she worked for a within a week after they started dating.  This man was also broke from the divorce he JUST went through although he owned the company she worked for.  So because she worked for her future fiancé she was getting a paycheck and he was unable to draw a sufficient one for himself the first year.  She helped pay their bills during this time.  After a year he was apparently back on his feet and all was well in her world.  He bought her some horses and a farm in order to have them at home.  To give you an idea on this man’s wealth he owned a ½ million dollar boat race team.  He died after they were together for about 13 years and she inherited the bulk of his estate, not his children from what I understand.  They never ended up getting married and he committed suicide when she left him, at least that’s her story.  She could have been fucking everyone behind his back for all I know.

She seemed to have been an asset for this man.  Judging by her stories she helped with the boat team and was integral in the operation of his companies.  It is apparent that this man made her an alpha widow.  Allegedly, he was her 3rd sexual partner and the last before she became unable to pair bond to another man.  She told me she had about 6 other sexual partners after him and I was her 10th.  Yeah right.  It became obvious that because this man’s history, situation, including having 2 daughters and our personalities being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  Furthermore, it just grated on me when she made comparisons between he and I. I did call her out on that shit when it occurred and ignored her for a week or so.  Out of her admitted number of past sexual partners there were 3 STR with lesser alphas or greater betas, and the rest were likely pretty beta. I can only surmise by listening to her talk about these men and asking questions. Thankfully, I was wise enough to see from the beginning she had been searching for her first alpha’s replacement by engaging in serial monogamy coupled with a young fuck buddy and a couple of Craigslist hookups with her playing the unicorn.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago and this is where we met.  She could not afford groceries, she never had much if any cash available and she ALWAYS used her credit cards to buy everything.  I think she had like a dozen of them at this time.

Her financial picture is as follows.  She spent about ½ the estate she inherited on her horses to the tune of more than $250k-$300k.  She works as a secretary for a company making over $50k/year.  When we met she was deeply in debt to the tune of $105k for credit cards and about $300k for real-estate for a total debt load of $405k.  With her other assets she is about $200k in the black.  Not good at all, her liabilities really offset her otherwise considerable assets.  And she is only a secretary with no education, which is interesting. At her rate of burning through her finances she would have been broke long before she was able to retire had I not taught her how to fix her situation.  Now she is in a much better financial position and she has been able to retain 90% of her assets while reducing her considerable liabilities.  I was happy to assist her in the off chance I ended up deciding to commit to her for the long term, but as it turned out I would need her help in the future.

She apparently slept with all the right men until she met me. All of the other men made good money at their jobs.  I even saw a past email she wrote to a friend where she boasted that four men she was dating consecutively all made over $100k/yr.  When I read this her real intentions became crystal clear to me.

Between business challenges and my wife leaving me I was both an emotional and financial wreck.  I sold some assets to barely live off of for the first year.  It was hard and things got shut off from time to time but I made it.  I will admit she did help me out in small ways, but never in a way that would have alleviated any of the considerable pressure I was under at the time.  When she ended the relationship, at a time I REALLY needed her help, she stated very clearly that, “if I am with you I would feel obligated to help you, so in order for me to not feel this obligation I have decided to end this relationship between us”.  She also stated afterwards, “I feel guilty about doing this, so can you just tell me it’s ok, (for being a bitch -my thoughts) so I won’t feel so bad about this?”  I cannot even comment on the selfishness of her words and how her hamster must be running at light speed.  She also mumbled something about all the other men wearing her out.  I think I chuckled at that. I know that it was a nuclear shit test in the order of 100 megatons.  This one was even bigger than the ones she gave about me banging younger woman because she is too old and how I blew off her concerns about the woman I fucked a couple of times during our most recent break up.  The only way I could have diffused this one was when I told her that I am fine with her leaving if she was that selfish and really trying to meaning it.  Either way, I failed in defusing that particular bomb.  I am now indifferent to her, which may even make her want to come back to me, unfortunately.  I had to call her last night (about 3 days after breakup) for some information she had that I needed and I was pretty well indifferent to her.  She asked how I was doing, feigning concern, and I flatly told her I was doing well (I am honestly) and I was hustling up more work.  I never asked how she was doing, nor did I particularly care to be honest.  She did however make it clear she was alone on a Saturday night.  I figured she would be out mining for men again, but I think she mentioned something about her going back to online dating in the spring which is mating season after all.

I will be more diligent of assuming a more amused mastery in my future relationships because ALL WOMEN ARE IN FACT JUST LIKE HER and women do not have any empathy for a man’s problems.  She had to make she also told me she always had money to pay for her stuff, and “she liked her nice stuff”.  Maybe that’s how she managed to burn through so much of her money on just bullshit with nothing of any real value to show.  Her shit test was her hamster validating her rationalizations for leaving me because she did not want to loan me $1000.  That was all I needed and she had the money.  I would have paid her back in 60 – 90 days and I offered her sufficient collateral for this loan.  I hated even having to ask her for this loan for my own egotistical reasons, but if she did loan me the money it would have saved me a bunch of grief.

She never had to struggle financially even when her finances were pretty well fucked before I formulated the plan for her to get out of her pretty dire situation which helped save her ass from impending financial doom.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Like her, most women who are currently or were in the past subsidized by a man (or several men) will refuse to help the man in her life when and should he need it either with physical work and her time or financial help, especially if it would require that she went without a comfort item for a short period of time like buying a new piece of equipment for her hobby.  Women seem to have no moral imperative to do what would be considered right or selfless by men’s standards. I have a friend, who if I asked for his help, he would help even possibly to his own detriment, because he is a good friend and he is knows I would do the same for him. I have FINALLY learned to NEVER ask a woman for help.  Even if I have to sell my ass, it is better than asking for a woman’s assistance on anything in life.  Just to be clear I have no intention of selling my ass or becoming a homo, it was only an example.

This essay might sound whiny and yes, I am bitching about her fucked up thinking, but she really illuminated some very important issues and she showed me who she really is as a person and proved to me that modern women are in fact really fucked up. Her actions and words were very clear and convincing evidence that women don’t suffer like men, a woman will not help a man even if she could because just by virtue of the man needing her help reduces or eliminates his attractiveness to her and no woman want to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions.

I realized that I never intended to be with her long term because I was seeing her as more and more undesirable by the day.  I knew I could and would do so much better as soon as I got on my feet again and pulled my head out of my ass.  She was too old, had way too many cocks, was an alpha widow and in the end argumentative and domineering.  Her pussy was fun but in the end that’s about all she brought to the table.  As it turns out the best thing happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates dammit.

Please comment if any of you have seen similar situations happen.  I am interested in hearing your stories.

By: MonkeyWerks

For the most part they do suck for relationships and everything else a woman SHOULD be good for such as companionship, sex, being helpful, etc.  Dealing with my impending divorce and the end of a 1+ year relationship I am mad at myself for not realizing this sooner, but I have finally come to grips with this fact.  It is because of this I will likely not seek any type of committed relationship with one in the future.  I saw this article on my blogroll and it made me think.

Some good points Matt Forney’s article:

AMERICAN WOMAN, STAY AWAY FROM ME

Loyal Confidant

In the past a man’s wife or mistress would buttress him with her powerful and feminine support. He could ask her advice on matters involving decisions where he needed counsel. Today’s American woman thinks she is on a reality sitcom, and anything you tell her will be shared with all of her friends and then filed away for use against you in the future when you have worn out your usefulness. This is a result of her insatiable hunger for attention. Women are natural gossips, but with the rise of feminist laws that make divorce economically in her best interest combined with this relatively new social phenomenon of attention whoring, you can bet that you are not her number one priority.

In the past a woman knew that when her husband rose in stature, she and the family did too, but now she will be regarded as a Strong, Independent Woman™ for divorce-raping you. When a culture celebrates single motherhood as a woman being brave when in reality she’s just dropping her kids off at her parents and partying with her girlfriends on child support wages, you as a man aren’t anything more than an interchangeable provider. Compare that with some of the sweetest, most feminine girls I met in the Philippines, where I would sit and write and girls would rub my shoulders, ask about my life, and make a sincere effort to comfort me. Western women look at these girls as if they’re stupid and misguided, yet few American women have a successful relationship in the course of their lives.

We know that due to the feminine imperative and hypergamy, American women in general are selfish vile creatures.  In the beginning of my marriage I would ask my ex wife her counsel on matters that I thought her perspective might have been useful.  I tried this with another woman I was recently seeing.  In both cases and in both cases either the advice they gave was terribly flawed or they tried to steer me on a path that would provide them with provisioning to the detriment of my happiness and long term goals.  It is interesting that Matt brings up the fact that American woman have such long histories of mostly failed relationships.

Ability to Manage a Household

Today’s “independent” woman doesn’t give a damn about this. She is more interested in her own career, which is understandable on the surface of things until you consider the types of careers women choose. You will not find many female engineers or doctors. If you do they will be “civil” engineers (the ones with the least specialization) or general practitioners (again, the doctors with the least specialization). Of course, when feminist writers talk about the wage gap between men and women, they make no distinction between a mechanical or chemical engineer (who is much more rigorously trained) or an orthopedic surgeon (ditto), but that is off-topic.

The bottom line is that women think they have no reason to support their husbands, because you are viewed as a companion that serves her, not someone she’s supposed to help aspire to greatness.

It’s funny and yet sad that I still have yet to meet a woman who can cook as well as me.  I had to teach my ex wife to cook, clean and, and well she never did learn how to fuck.  They think that somehow hamburger helper is cooking.  This seems to be the same with most other women I have met.  Tell an American woman that her cooking sucks and watch the steam rise from their ears as they try to convince you that meal from a box was good and nutritious.

Charm and Grace

In days past, a man would have his friends and colleagues over for coffee, dinner, or perhaps poker. His wife would be the consummate host: looking pretty for him was her priority; she would accept compliments on her dress or dinner with a grace that complimented her husband; she would deflect comments that were too forward with a politeness that would leave the speaker feeling ashamed for stepping out of place. The girls I dated in Vietnam were all like this. One girl, Chau, would even insist on viewing every bill after dinner to make sure I didn’t pay too much. She would go get beers for THC and me. It was so refreshing. She only wanted to spend as much of the short time I had there with me.

Today’s American woman is as crass and crude as any man. Regularly speaking in vulgarities that would make sailors of an earlier era blush, today’s Western females can’t even be bothered to put on makeup before going out during the day. A recent conversation with a girl really drove home the point. I was talking to a girl whose parents were Russian, but she herself had been raised in America. She had just recently returned from her first visit to the country and was telling me about how “awful” it was there. Her narrative was so laced with the word “like” that I had to force myself to listen. Her biggest complaint was that one morning when her cousins were going to take her to do some sightseeing, they all woke up relatively early, and she donned her sandals, put her hair in a ponytail and adorned herself with a baseball cap. With self-righteous indignation, she described how her female cousin came to her, took off her baseball cap and said “You are not a man, go change and look like a woman.”

Women in less Westernized countries take pride in their appearance. They want to look pretty for their men and they want them to be pleased with how they look. They’re usually much more fit and they take care of themselves. When I was at the beach in Boracay, I was looking at the local girls so thin and gorgeous, and then right next to them were these land whales from Australia (comparable to the US in terms of fattitude). It turned my stomach.

Feminine Beauty

American women today dress like prostitutes of the past. They regularly go out without any money with the sole purpose of soliciting free drinks. They go in groups with their friends and hang around men who have paid for tables in hopes of being invited over, drink as much for free as they can, and the go to the next table.

American women have gotten to the point of insanity with their sense of entitlement. They expect doors to be held open and dinner to be paid for, ridicule men for not being gentlemen and complain about inequality, all while demanding more and more; yet they don’t offer the slightest hint of ladylike grace or value.

Only a fool that would marry one of these creatures. There is almost no way to combat this beast. American women, manginas and white knights will talk about how my views are from the Stone Age and how women deserve equal rights. And I agree, they do deserve equality, I never said they didn’t, but that means divorce is equal.

I think women should willingly do what I’ve said.

Not because they are forced to.

Consider this: more and more men are being clinically treated for mental disorders and depression than ever before. Over half of American women are prescribed antidepressants.

I guess it is no surprise when my ex wife admitted to me that she agreed to our first date because she wanted a free meal.  Too bad I had already married her.  Add that to her overall and extreme entitlement attitude of “GOD SAID I DESERVE HAPPINESS” she learned in her church and it’s no wonder she left when my income was reduced.  The woman I was recently seeing is the same way except she is 45 years old, has hit the wall and hard, never married without any children.  Her hamster runs a light speed rationalizing how she never wanted kids in the first place and how she was just sooo busy with worthless activities that she has had nothing but failed relationship s in her life and few friends.

I feel like shit most days.  Everything from the pain from my wife leaving me and how I don’t see my kids enough to meeting and kind of falling for another woman soon after that turned out to be worse than my ex wife in many ways.  Add to that the serious financial challenges I am enduring and I see my life as shit.  I find it hard not to just want to lay down and not wake up, but I will wake up and get up and thrive.  It just sucks going through the process.  As most men dealing with these same common issues, we have to go through the healing in order to become the better man on the other side.  And like me bad, ill behaves and rebellious feminist woman were the catalyst for many of our problems.  I have been abandoned in my only two greatest time of need by the two women who wanted my all but were unwilling to give anything of themselves to a man.  Some people may see me blaming these women for all my problems I take full responsibility for my own screw ups, but when a man and woman are SUPPOSEDLY in a committed and loving relationship the couple is supposed to help each other. So for my detractors I will tell you to fuck off.  I am just giving credit where credit is due.

Carpe Diem

If you believe as I do—that men and women are different in more ways than just “their parts”—it’s pretty obvious to me that the feminist myth that men and women are the same has caused women to reject their natural femininity and become masculine. This has led men to become more feminine to try and ingratiate themselves in some attempt at equilibrium in this now socially synthetic environment.

There is no way to stop this social development; you’re better off getting your things and leaving for greener pastures. Men, I’m telling you from personal experience that there are still many many wonderful women out there that were raised in traditional gender roles that will be some of the best people you ever meet.

The only thing you have to do is break free of the Matrix, stop pedestalizing these monsters, and go see the rest of the non-Western world. But that’s an article for another time.

Carpe diem!

There are good woman overseas.  I have met many of them and had sex with them when I was in the Marines.  Their families are cool and it is these women who are the last bastion of proper femininity.  American women are truly monsters as Matt states.  Most men have experienced this, unfortunately only a few of us have the balls to talk about it.

And of course from Roosh

http://www.rooshv.com/10-reasons-why-heterosexual-men-should-leave-america
 

 

By: MonkeyWerks

Jenny Erickson could have been my wife.  I see so much that is similar in their though process and rationalizations that is so fucking scary, but not surprising.  I was never as beta has Jenny’s husband Lief, but the treatment I received from my wife was the same nevertheless. Visit the links and the corresponding comments and judge for yourself.  This is what is sick with the church and society today.

The Most Abominable Christian Wife On The Internet
 
God never tells a woman to violate His commandments, not even if she is really, really unhappy.
 
Dalrock’s Posts – Great reads
 
Soothing words for the unrepentant baby mama.
 
Don’t forget your 30 pieces of silver.
 
Twisted Scripture.
 
He ruined the surprise.
 
Trapped!
 

How this happened.  Important!!

Reframing Christian marriage
 
Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.
 
Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.
 
Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.
 
Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.
 
Godly unashamed unwed mothers.
 

Jenny’s Blog – CAUTION it may make you sick to your stomach and become violent.

http://www.jennyerikson.com/2011/07/12/my-wedding-day/
http://www.jennyerikson.com/2013/06/14/its-just-an-appliance-i-think/
http://www.jennyerikson.com/category/divorce/
http://www.jennyerikson.com/2013/10/14/i-am-as-a-gentile-tax-collector-aka-i-was-ex-communicated-today/
http://www.jennyerikson.com/2013/06/11/how-my-husband-found-out-i-was-leaving-him/
 

 

By: MonkeyWrench

The reason why this is simply because when I met her and then married her I thought we would be together forever.  As inexplicable as it sounds I loved her from the beginning even though I was spinning plates, a term I learned in sales and reinforced in the manosphere.  Through thick or thin I thought she and I would always be a team.  I guess I should have though the whole marriage thing through a bit more and realized our marriage was bound to fail.  She was a hot (HB 8) 19 year old when we met.  I married her a couple of years later and for the 13 years we were together I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me.  I thought I would always feel like this about her and for the most part I have, even today I see her in this light, although I try hard not to.  Maybe this was because of my love for her combined with her general attractiveness and our time together.  However, one mindset I had to change when we married was my habit of looking at flaws in my previous girlfriends.  Although I did not have a term for it then, it was my anti-pedestalization of my former girlfriends.  I knew this was one thing I had to change from my previous behaviors in order to enable a more lifetime monogamous mindset.  I put on my wife goggles; nonetheless I refused to put her on a pedestal, even though I did not concentrate on her flaws.  Unfortunately she did the complete opposite, as women seem to do more than they do not.  She concentrated on my flaws, and when she left she had such a list I am sure she was writing them down somewhere throughout our entire marriage.  I just needed her to want me, so I could want her in the way I needed to.  She wanted to control me and she used sex and my attraction to her to do this.  It was like I had a hot wife who would never let me touch her.

I was 7 years older than her and that was a benefit I thoroughly enjoyed.  I would even speculate we were both at our peak physical attractiveness at the time, but do to my business and higher than average income my SMV was higher but averaged to be the same as her SMV after I joined the marines and my income went to almost nothing.

Dalrock explains that he, like me finds his wife just as beautiful as when they married.  As men, like many others, our love for our wives grew over the years, even while our wives objective beauty lessened, just not to us.  This is how it should be with husbands concerning their wives, as long as our wives makes some effort to stay fit and healthy, as mine did.  We do not see the effects on our wives bodies by having our babies.  We see it as the love they have for us and our children.  I think of my wife’s youth and her formerly tight body as her gift to me so we could have our family.  I always tried to honor her with this mindset.  I was blind to any of her physical imperfections and even today I have a hard time seeing them, although I know objectively they are there.  What I saw every time I looked at her, is the pretty young face I fell in love with originally.  Unfortunately, she threw this all away when she decided to throw away our marriage.

I tried to give my wife the best of me, and my best was in fact good enough.  Even though I screwed up a bunch in our marriage, as did she, I made a commitment to her in front of God that I would never leave her, and I would not have unless she was banging another man.  That is one indiscretion I will not forgive with any woman.

I will always have her youth and her peak fertility.  That is something no other man will ever get from her, she does not have another youth after all.  My replacement will only get stretch marks, saggy tits, and her now flat ass.  And we cannot forget the attitude and the extra emotional baggage along with her diminished sexual responses.  I must honestly admit though that she will stay attractive for her age group for several more years, at least when considering the attractiveness of her mother for her age.  I figure within her age group she will maintain a (6-7) rating until at least 40 if she keeps the weight off, which for her does require some working out a few days a week.

It is so important that woman marry when they are young.  I cannot stress enough that any self respecting man should not marry an older woman after she hits The Wall.  Those few years at her peak hotness is so vitally important for us men to look back to with happiness when the results of the children she bore can be seen and our wives age, at times not so well.  As men we generally will remain faithful and committed for life to the wives of our youth.  This can be seen in current divorce statistics where men are much less likely to initiate divorce or the destruction of the marriage.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

EDIT: Even after more than 18 months I still find myself comparing every attractive blond to my her.  I hope I will stop doing this soon.