Posts Tagged ‘attraction’

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It’s sad that so many men and women both have such a messed up view of what sex is, what it means and the importance of it in a monogamous relationship.  Take the case of Samantha Pugsley who through an unhealthy mix of her apparent hardcore Christian upbringing and her belief in radical feminism maintained her virginity until she married and now has a very unhealthy attitude about sex and especially sex in marriage.

Since pictures can tell a story by themselves this is her a few years ago and her now after her full indoctrination into feminism, colored short boy haircut included.  Her transformation validates that wedding cake is very fattening indeed.

She was able to convince an obviously very beta or omega boyfriend to remain celibate and wait for her throughout 6 years of dating.  What happens in these cases is that she turned her virginity into not only a big part of her identity but an idol.  The end result for these young women who have this attitude is that they often remain unmarried and become old spinsters who are still virgins, which is bad for men and women both.  The 463 point checklists these women create are also a big roadblock for them in their quest for the perfect feminist Christ like husband.  The whole virginity game that religious women and beta men play is harmful and can have lasting negative repercussions throughout their lives.  We see this game played out in celebrating virginity for virginity’s sake with purity balls, rings, and other such unbiblical nonsense.  These women’s virginity ends up being narcissistically all about them and not about the gift of their body to their future husband, as is apparent what happened in Pugsley’s case.

Although this seems far more common in virgin women than men, many of these people end of with unhealthy attitudes about their sexuality which creates sexual dysfunctions as seen in Pugsley’s article and throughout the comment section with women who adopted virgin game ended up disappointed because they failed to realize their unrealistic expectations about sex.  I follow a fellow blogger who also saved herself for her husband, but she was taught by her mother the proper attitude about virginity and about the importance of sex in her marriage and now her and her husband experience the wonders of sex as God truly meant for it to be.  A lot of poor teachings come from the parents of these young men and women.  The fathers of these girls essentially go super white knight and pedestalize their daughter which in turn just gives her unrealistic expectations because no man would live up to the fantasy that she created in her mind with her parents encouragement.  The boys on the other hand are also taught harmful attitudes.  One such thing is even remaining a virgin to begin with.  Unless a young man quickly courts and marries and has sex (which is biblical) he should be experiencing other women.  He should not become promiscuous per se, but a man does benefit from having experiences, sexual and otherwise, with other women.  A young man should never remain celibate just for the sake of waiting but only a short time in order to marry particular woman.  It’s also important to note for those men with moral hang-ups regarding sex, that nowhere in the bible does it instruct men to remain virgins prior to marriage.  I am of course challenged to raise up my 2 daughters with the proper attitude about sex so they will make their future husbands happy and have lifelong happy marriages.

The church is extremely schizophrenic when it comes to sex in general, and especially sex in marriage.  Deti’s comment stood out to me and nailed the point quite well:

From Pugsley’s article:

“When he did, I obliged. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy because I loved him so much and because I’d been taught it was my duty to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex.

“My feminist husband was horrified that I’d let him touch me when I didn’t want him to. He made me promise I’d never do anything I didn’t want to do ever again. We stopped having sex. He encouraged me to see a therapist and I did. It was the first step on a long journey to healing.

“When I have sex with my husband, I make sure it’s because I have a sexual need and not because I feel I’m required to fulfill his desires.

There is always a horribly distorted view of sex and a woman’s sexual role in marriage whenever these discussions are had. A wife is supposed to be sexually available to her husband at all times. She is supposed to give her husband sex when he wants it. Look at it this way: Would a wife put up with a husband who said “well, I’ll work when I feel like it. I’ll give you money to take care of the family when I feel like it, or I think it’s a good idea, or when I decide you need it”. Would a wife put up with that? Didn’t think so. So it is with sex and a husband’s view of it.** But women don’t want this. They don’t want to be totally sexually available to their husbands, for many reasons, chief among them are that most wives just do not desire their husbands sexually. This is a problem because most women are having sex with men who are more sexually desirable than they can get for marriage.

The other prime reason that women don’t want to be sexually available to their husbands is if they are, then they cede a lot of control in the marriage to the husband. A woman before marriage is able to control men by using sex and sexual access. Sex, sex appeal and sexual access are the greatest measures of a woman’s power, and if she gives them completely and totally to one man, she has given up most of her power. She doesn’t want to do this, of course, because that would require her to submit and trust, and what if he screws it up?

** NOTE TO liberals, feminists and other dipshits: I AM NOT SAYING THAT A WIFE IS CONSENTING TO RAPE. I am not saying a wife must have sex when sick or injured or recovering from childbirth. No loving husband would demand sex under those circumstances. I AM, however, saying that a lot of wives unreasonably withhold and limit sexual access. No wife is too busy that she can’t take 20 minutes out of her schedule to take care of her husband’s need. And if she is, then her priorities are screwed up. I am also saying that if a woman doesn’t consent to having sex with a particular man when HE wants to and NOT just when SHE wants to, then she should not marry that man and should not marry at all, because she has a distorted and improper view of marriage.

It is likely she was only a technical virgin and not one in fact.  She states in her bio she is bisexual and so one may deduce that not only do other women join her and her husband in bed, but she likely engaged in certain woman on woman activities prior to marriage.  That said, she was not a virgin and whatever waiting she forced upon her husband was not done in any biblical or moral sense, but as a way to satisfy her own warped view of controlling her own sexuality and sexual morality.  This is evident in her disgusting attitude of “my body my choice”.  All you have to do is read how she hates her husband so much she cannot stand the thought of being impregnated by him and goes ahead and terminates her pregnancy.  I just wonder what the story is behind her husband who waited 6 years in order to have sex with this average looking obviously mentally unstable woman who’s motivations are fueled by radical feminism.  Regardless of one’s religious convictions this man was nuts to remain celibate for 6 years while he waited for this woman.

By: MonkeyWrench

The reason why this is simply because when I met her and then married her I thought we would be together forever.  As inexplicable as it sounds I loved her from the beginning even though I was spinning plates, a term I learned in sales and reinforced in the manosphere.  Through thick or thin I thought she and I would always be a team.  I guess I should have though the whole marriage thing through a bit more and realized our marriage was bound to fail.  She was a hot (HB 8) 19 year old when we met.  I married her a couple of years later and for the 13 years we were together I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world to me.  I thought I would always feel like this about her and for the most part I have, even today I see her in this light, although I try hard not to.  Maybe this was because of my love for her combined with her general attractiveness and our time together.  However, one mindset I had to change when we married was my habit of looking at flaws in my previous girlfriends.  Although I did not have a term for it then, it was my anti-pedestalization of my former girlfriends.  I knew this was one thing I had to change from my previous behaviors in order to enable a more lifetime monogamous mindset.  I put on my wife goggles; nonetheless I refused to put her on a pedestal, even though I did not concentrate on her flaws.  Unfortunately she did the complete opposite, as women seem to do more than they do not.  She concentrated on my flaws, and when she left she had such a list I am sure she was writing them down somewhere throughout our entire marriage.  I just needed her to want me, so I could want her in the way I needed to.  She wanted to control me and she used sex and my attraction to her to do this.  It was like I had a hot wife who would never let me touch her.

I was 7 years older than her and that was a benefit I thoroughly enjoyed.  I would even speculate we were both at our peak physical attractiveness at the time, but do to my business and higher than average income my SMV was higher but averaged to be the same as her SMV after I joined the marines and my income went to almost nothing.

Dalrock explains that he, like me finds his wife just as beautiful as when they married.  As men, like many others, our love for our wives grew over the years, even while our wives objective beauty lessened, just not to us.  This is how it should be with husbands concerning their wives, as long as our wives makes some effort to stay fit and healthy, as mine did.  We do not see the effects on our wives bodies by having our babies.  We see it as the love they have for us and our children.  I think of my wife’s youth and her formerly tight body as her gift to me so we could have our family.  I always tried to honor her with this mindset.  I was blind to any of her physical imperfections and even today I have a hard time seeing them, although I know objectively they are there.  What I saw every time I looked at her, is the pretty young face I fell in love with originally.  Unfortunately, she threw this all away when she decided to throw away our marriage.

I tried to give my wife the best of me, and my best was in fact good enough.  Even though I screwed up a bunch in our marriage, as did she, I made a commitment to her in front of God that I would never leave her, and I would not have unless she was banging another man.  That is one indiscretion I will not forgive with any woman.

I will always have her youth and her peak fertility.  That is something no other man will ever get from her, she does not have another youth after all.  My replacement will only get stretch marks, saggy tits, and her now flat ass.  And we cannot forget the attitude and the extra emotional baggage along with her diminished sexual responses.  I must honestly admit though that she will stay attractive for her age group for several more years, at least when considering the attractiveness of her mother for her age.  I figure within her age group she will maintain a (6-7) rating until at least 40 if she keeps the weight off, which for her does require some working out a few days a week.

It is so important that woman marry when they are young.  I cannot stress enough that any self respecting man should not marry an older woman after she hits The Wall.  Those few years at her peak hotness is so vitally important for us men to look back to with happiness when the results of the children she bore can be seen and our wives age, at times not so well.  As men we generally will remain faithful and committed for life to the wives of our youth.  This can be seen in current divorce statistics where men are much less likely to initiate divorce or the destruction of the marriage.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

Women are at many severe disadvantages when they forgo marriage when they are young or divorce their first husbands.  Alas, the men who marry women after 25 or so are likely only getting the scraps that are left of her sexuality, her ability to pair bond, her attractiveness and more importantly, her peak fertility.  With older divorced or never married women, men are more likely to encounter women with children from another man, or in many cases several different men.

This scenario creates a cuckold relationship either reactively or proactively, as in my case where my replacement will be likely expending his resources provisioning my children.  I find it terribly disturbing that another man will be influencing my children in any way regardless of his financial contributions, which are more for buying access to my ex wife’s pussy than providing for the children I would imagine.  He will be the Beta who is unable to smell the fear that coming from my ex wife as she approaches the wall at 250 mph.  I suppose she will tempt him with her devotion to God and her mothering skills.  This is likely due to her trying to conform me to the weak Christian Beta male frame.  I hope she at least learns how to give blowjobs for my replacement; he deserves at least that much.  She might even promise him a child.  But as far as I’m concerned the only babies coming out of her are to be mine regardless of our divorce.  It makes sense to have all the kids from the same father anyways and our girls are beautiful and smart, so why mess around with inferior genes, at least that’s my opinion.  I can’t wait for the feminists to jump on me for that comment.

My wife is also teaching our daughters that her behavior is normal.  My ex will justify her actions to them.  I imagine that, like me, they will realize the bullshit when they are older and take her to task for her decision to nuke our family.  Soon after my wife left and moved in with my mother, yes you read that right, I pretty much told my mother that she is no longer a part of my life because of her direct influencing and encouraging my wife to divorce me, and her own prior decision to unilaterally blow up our family when I was younger.  This is a perfect example of the cycle of divorce.  At some point men need to take these women to task for what they do.

This really was not the soft flowery post I was originally hoping to write, but it’s the truth of my life and how the red pill principals, natural laws and social conventions have affected my marriage and my wife’s behavior.  I screwed up plenty also by being Beta when I should have been Alpha and vice versa.  I just wish she would have decided to check her behavior before she left.  I think if she did, we might have been able to fix our marriage, but then again, I probably would have not found the manosphere and would have continued with my same damaging mindset.

EDIT: Even after more than 18 months I still find myself comparing every attractive blond to my her.  I hope I will stop doing this soon.