Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

By: MonkeyWerks

I was thinking about the frame the relationship was in.  Because of her stated reasons for ending the relationship were primarily financial, which was only a part of it, I thought I would delve deeper into the financial frame our that was set in our relationship.  To start financially I am in a pretty bad place, one that I have never been in before.  My challenges although seemingly complex can be dealt with but I just needed time, like in the neighborhood of 1-2 years to be back to where I was.

She made more money than me, a lot more actually.  I did not have a problem with and it did not make me feel inadequate by any means.  I felt that I would be where I wanted to be financially in a reasonable amount of time.

Although I was working at making sure I kept the correct frame to our relationship so it may succeed long-term,  I noticed that C was resisting that frame because of my lack of financial resources and her general resistance to any form of headship or leadership by a man.  I thought that what I was doing was correct because it would help to build happiness and contentment in our relationship.  About mid-point to our relationship we talked about being together long-term, living together and me running one of my business’s out of our new house.  She had the money to make it happen and I had the brains.  Neither of us could move forward without the other.  That was the reality of the situation, but it was win/win.  It was not the first thing I would have liked to do because it reduced some of my overall control over our relationship and I would have to Game her much harder and more consistently in order to maintain a high level of attraction and satisfy her hypergamous nature and inclinations.  This would have taken a huge amount of effort and that comfortable place in any relationship would never been experienced.  I do understand her need to feel secure in all respects but everything she did throughout her life and her decisions actually hurt her overall long-term security and happiness.  This was something I was attempting to help her avoid, and I now realize how White Knightish this mindset was.

I was willing to consider this option due to the time saved if I did something similar on my own.  She benefited by my knowledge and my commitment to her.  I would be giving her that last chance at a successful relationship if she did not fuck it up.  I benefited by making an environment where I could immediately start thriving and rebuilding what I had previously lost. I would also have had a good home environment for my two daughters, at least that was what I led myself to believe at the time.

She even brought up the idea of her having a child which I told her she was insane because she is waaaay to old and of course I noted her questionable past.  That might have been when I put the brakes on this plan.  She also wanted me to retire her in 2-3 years and pay over $14k/yr for the maintenance of her 2 horses.  It was the issue with her horses that ultimately caused the plan to fail in her mind.  See the article on women with horses and you will understand this better.

Even when my business was doing well, due to reoccurring expenses my take home pay was just a little over what was needed to live the basic yet good lifestyle my family and I lived at the time.  I took the remaining funds and reinvested them into the company in things such as new equipment and research and development.  I taught my ex-wife to clean like a Marine in the beginning of our marriage because she did not know how because I wasn’t going to clean the fucking house. I led her to set up a cleaning business when the opportunity presented itself.  I also taught her how to run such a business instead of just letting her sit on her ass and get fat.  The money she made from her business went into the household expenses.  This gave her something profitable to do and took some stress off of me.  The problem with this plan was that I did not control the money that was made.  I didn’t even check on her accounts often enough.  So my plans flaws encouraged her in some ways to not only become independent of me but it gave her that little bit of encouragement for her to break up the marriage when she saw fit to do so.

What I should have done was control the money she made and gave her an allowance as needed.  Now this brings up the issue with C.  C makes more money, she repeatedly stated I needed to make much more than her so she could become the dependant one and help me with my businesses.  What she really wanted to do was to quit her job and ride her horses all day.  She would often state that when a woman makes more than the man there are problems because it makes the man feel insecure. This might be true for a STHD or ultra beta maybe, but I did not feel threatened by this situation.  She was seeing my income level as not only a point of qualification for long-term provisioning but possibly as a means to justify to herself that entering my frame was ok.  One of her biggest fears by giving me control was that I would be unwilling to pay for her horses.  She would always tell me she felt that I would consider them “frivolous” expenses, which I did actually.  My thoughts were if the extra money was there and the effort to generate the funds were minimal I MIGHT not give a shit, but working by the hour, no fucking way was I going to waste $14k/yr on animals as a hobby or entertainment.  If she wanted her horses she would have to work and still pay half of the household expenses.  She is not young or hot enough to demand anything else.  I would always discuss with her options and plans but if a decision needed to be made, I would make regardless of how much she bitched about it, and I would never apologize for leading my household.  She did not like this and even if I was to pay for her horses the same problems would still be there and I would end up in her frame.  Much of our disagreements stemmed from her lip service to being a good submissive woman.  I knew deep down I could never Game her into submission because she was permanently fucked up and no amount of Game or alpha would fix that.

The only way things could have worked is if I controlled all the finances in the relationship regardless of who generated the majority of it.  I would also have to pretty much rule the roost in all other areas without question.  Although she made good money at her job, she was still irresponsible with her cash flow.  She paid a lot of taxes in her bracket by being single.  Her horses consumed about 30% of her income on average and although she could have lived quite comfortably on the rest she was still always cash poor, which I never understood.  She did have some non-liquid assets, but those assets were in large part originally generated by her now deceased first husbands (fiancé of 13 years) estate.  She stated that because she cook, clean, and ran the books for this man she helped build the estate, although it was his skills that actually built the companies he owned.  For example she was over $105k in consumer (credit card) debt when we met.  There was no reason for her to have generated this level of debt and although it is very common for single women in this day and age to have such large debt, the amount seemed far more than the norm to me.

I taught her a process to greatly reduce her debt and then eliminate it like a good white knight.  Just because I happened to be broke did not mean my mind was broke or that I did not have the skills to manage finances in a responsible way. Even though, I guess I failed in her eyes to “prove my worth” to her by not rebuilding my company up fast enough and by my desire to live a more simple life with greatly reduced expenses.  It’s all bullshit from her I realize, but I wanted to point this out.  I guess she figured that because she chose a career and animals over a man when she was younger that she would still be able to control every man she was involved with.  If I had money she would have been butter to me, but because I did not desire to chase the almighty dollar I was apparently of little long-term use to her.

If I did not express my thoughts about my desire for a simpler financial life I am fairly confident she would have seen me as someone who could fulfill her Hypergamy and would have chosen to lock me down via marriage or at a minimum cohabitation as she expressed quite plainly soon into our relationship.  But it was her Hypergamous nature that compelled her to end the relationship.  However, I do find it baffling that such a woman (at 45yrs old) is still being that choosy when she has very obviously hit the wall and her prospects for a committed and loving LTR are just about gone, if not totally expired.  I have noticed this in other similarly situated woman, as many other men also have.  She told me several times I was to be her last relationship, which I did not believe for an instant.  I guess its cougarville and a bunch of cats for her next, or she will have to rush to find that beta provider, which she has already has I am afraid.  I know I am the last alpha she will have the opportunity to be in a real LTR with, and I do think she honestly realized that.  I was still in the LTR (beta) mindset after my marriage failure and she took full advantage of that and my heartbreak and worked hard to show me she could be a good replacement for my ex-wife.  I was playing the odds at the time and the older women do seem very enthusiastic to get with a man even if he is only a little alpha.  Now I don’t disagree with being in a loving committed and monogamous relationship if a man’s needs are being met and the woman is pleasant, but such a relationship is becomes dangerous for a man as soon as he is not getting his needs and desires met and who does not set the frame to HIS reality in such a relationship.  When men fail to set the frame we have Oneitis and the relationship is in the woman’s frame which does nothing but to encourage her hypergamous nature and increase the likelihood of the man being left due to the loss of attraction his woman will have for him.

In the end she did me a favor by ending our relationship when she did.  For various reasons, which I will explain in later essays, I wished to remain in the relationship, even though I knew for a fact I could do so much better.  I am now convinced that my mindset was doomed to failure and my unhappiness would almost be guaranteed later as she aged more and started menopause.  I had even tried to unsuccessfully convince myself that she was a better choice for various reasons than chasing young hotties because of her maturity and business skills.  Now I realize the fallacy in the way I was thinking.  The Red Pill has helped me to see this and those principles greatly reduced the shock and negative emotions I would have otherwise felt from her ending our relationship.  At last it is over and this relationship will have to go out like yesterdays garbage.  At least I am not burdened by any desire to reconnect with her again.

I write these essays based on my experiences so other man can see these common issues in their relationships.  Most of these things I write about are issues that are occurring or have occurred in my past and it was not until after the issue, relationship, or the chance to fix something had expired that I realized the dynamics that were involved.  Of course I am learning not to do the things that I found to be detrimental.  By documenting these things, other men can have the information to make changes in the ways that is most profitable for them and their relationships.

This is a working group so we can all learn.  I would like input on this from my readers.  Where did I go wrong?  Where did I go right?

I want to note that she was obviously never bride material and she would never have gotten a ring from me, but I was willing to take a limited calculated risk to commit to her for at least a few years while I got back on my feet.  If we did not work out we would both still realize profits from the venture and that’s how I looked at it.

 

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By: MonkeyWerks

For the most part they do suck for relationships and everything else a woman SHOULD be good for such as companionship, sex, being helpful, etc.  Dealing with my impending divorce and the end of a 1+ year relationship I am mad at myself for not realizing this sooner, but I have finally come to grips with this fact.  It is because of this I will likely not seek any type of committed relationship with one in the future.  I saw this article on my blogroll and it made me think.

Some good points Matt Forney’s article:

AMERICAN WOMAN, STAY AWAY FROM ME

Loyal Confidant

In the past a man’s wife or mistress would buttress him with her powerful and feminine support. He could ask her advice on matters involving decisions where he needed counsel. Today’s American woman thinks she is on a reality sitcom, and anything you tell her will be shared with all of her friends and then filed away for use against you in the future when you have worn out your usefulness. This is a result of her insatiable hunger for attention. Women are natural gossips, but with the rise of feminist laws that make divorce economically in her best interest combined with this relatively new social phenomenon of attention whoring, you can bet that you are not her number one priority.

In the past a woman knew that when her husband rose in stature, she and the family did too, but now she will be regarded as a Strong, Independent Woman™ for divorce-raping you. When a culture celebrates single motherhood as a woman being brave when in reality she’s just dropping her kids off at her parents and partying with her girlfriends on child support wages, you as a man aren’t anything more than an interchangeable provider. Compare that with some of the sweetest, most feminine girls I met in the Philippines, where I would sit and write and girls would rub my shoulders, ask about my life, and make a sincere effort to comfort me. Western women look at these girls as if they’re stupid and misguided, yet few American women have a successful relationship in the course of their lives.

We know that due to the feminine imperative and hypergamy, American women in general are selfish vile creatures.  In the beginning of my marriage I would ask my ex wife her counsel on matters that I thought her perspective might have been useful.  I tried this with another woman I was recently seeing.  In both cases and in both cases either the advice they gave was terribly flawed or they tried to steer me on a path that would provide them with provisioning to the detriment of my happiness and long term goals.  It is interesting that Matt brings up the fact that American woman have such long histories of mostly failed relationships.

Ability to Manage a Household

Today’s “independent” woman doesn’t give a damn about this. She is more interested in her own career, which is understandable on the surface of things until you consider the types of careers women choose. You will not find many female engineers or doctors. If you do they will be “civil” engineers (the ones with the least specialization) or general practitioners (again, the doctors with the least specialization). Of course, when feminist writers talk about the wage gap between men and women, they make no distinction between a mechanical or chemical engineer (who is much more rigorously trained) or an orthopedic surgeon (ditto), but that is off-topic.

The bottom line is that women think they have no reason to support their husbands, because you are viewed as a companion that serves her, not someone she’s supposed to help aspire to greatness.

It’s funny and yet sad that I still have yet to meet a woman who can cook as well as me.  I had to teach my ex wife to cook, clean and, and well she never did learn how to fuck.  They think that somehow hamburger helper is cooking.  This seems to be the same with most other women I have met.  Tell an American woman that her cooking sucks and watch the steam rise from their ears as they try to convince you that meal from a box was good and nutritious.

Charm and Grace

In days past, a man would have his friends and colleagues over for coffee, dinner, or perhaps poker. His wife would be the consummate host: looking pretty for him was her priority; she would accept compliments on her dress or dinner with a grace that complimented her husband; she would deflect comments that were too forward with a politeness that would leave the speaker feeling ashamed for stepping out of place. The girls I dated in Vietnam were all like this. One girl, Chau, would even insist on viewing every bill after dinner to make sure I didn’t pay too much. She would go get beers for THC and me. It was so refreshing. She only wanted to spend as much of the short time I had there with me.

Today’s American woman is as crass and crude as any man. Regularly speaking in vulgarities that would make sailors of an earlier era blush, today’s Western females can’t even be bothered to put on makeup before going out during the day. A recent conversation with a girl really drove home the point. I was talking to a girl whose parents were Russian, but she herself had been raised in America. She had just recently returned from her first visit to the country and was telling me about how “awful” it was there. Her narrative was so laced with the word “like” that I had to force myself to listen. Her biggest complaint was that one morning when her cousins were going to take her to do some sightseeing, they all woke up relatively early, and she donned her sandals, put her hair in a ponytail and adorned herself with a baseball cap. With self-righteous indignation, she described how her female cousin came to her, took off her baseball cap and said “You are not a man, go change and look like a woman.”

Women in less Westernized countries take pride in their appearance. They want to look pretty for their men and they want them to be pleased with how they look. They’re usually much more fit and they take care of themselves. When I was at the beach in Boracay, I was looking at the local girls so thin and gorgeous, and then right next to them were these land whales from Australia (comparable to the US in terms of fattitude). It turned my stomach.

Feminine Beauty

American women today dress like prostitutes of the past. They regularly go out without any money with the sole purpose of soliciting free drinks. They go in groups with their friends and hang around men who have paid for tables in hopes of being invited over, drink as much for free as they can, and the go to the next table.

American women have gotten to the point of insanity with their sense of entitlement. They expect doors to be held open and dinner to be paid for, ridicule men for not being gentlemen and complain about inequality, all while demanding more and more; yet they don’t offer the slightest hint of ladylike grace or value.

Only a fool that would marry one of these creatures. There is almost no way to combat this beast. American women, manginas and white knights will talk about how my views are from the Stone Age and how women deserve equal rights. And I agree, they do deserve equality, I never said they didn’t, but that means divorce is equal.

I think women should willingly do what I’ve said.

Not because they are forced to.

Consider this: more and more men are being clinically treated for mental disorders and depression than ever before. Over half of American women are prescribed antidepressants.

I guess it is no surprise when my ex wife admitted to me that she agreed to our first date because she wanted a free meal.  Too bad I had already married her.  Add that to her overall and extreme entitlement attitude of “GOD SAID I DESERVE HAPPINESS” she learned in her church and it’s no wonder she left when my income was reduced.  The woman I was recently seeing is the same way except she is 45 years old, has hit the wall and hard, never married without any children.  Her hamster runs a light speed rationalizing how she never wanted kids in the first place and how she was just sooo busy with worthless activities that she has had nothing but failed relationship s in her life and few friends.

I feel like shit most days.  Everything from the pain from my wife leaving me and how I don’t see my kids enough to meeting and kind of falling for another woman soon after that turned out to be worse than my ex wife in many ways.  Add to that the serious financial challenges I am enduring and I see my life as shit.  I find it hard not to just want to lay down and not wake up, but I will wake up and get up and thrive.  It just sucks going through the process.  As most men dealing with these same common issues, we have to go through the healing in order to become the better man on the other side.  And like me bad, ill behaves and rebellious feminist woman were the catalyst for many of our problems.  I have been abandoned in my only two greatest time of need by the two women who wanted my all but were unwilling to give anything of themselves to a man.  Some people may see me blaming these women for all my problems I take full responsibility for my own screw ups, but when a man and woman are SUPPOSEDLY in a committed and loving relationship the couple is supposed to help each other. So for my detractors I will tell you to fuck off.  I am just giving credit where credit is due.

Carpe Diem

If you believe as I do—that men and women are different in more ways than just “their parts”—it’s pretty obvious to me that the feminist myth that men and women are the same has caused women to reject their natural femininity and become masculine. This has led men to become more feminine to try and ingratiate themselves in some attempt at equilibrium in this now socially synthetic environment.

There is no way to stop this social development; you’re better off getting your things and leaving for greener pastures. Men, I’m telling you from personal experience that there are still many many wonderful women out there that were raised in traditional gender roles that will be some of the best people you ever meet.

The only thing you have to do is break free of the Matrix, stop pedestalizing these monsters, and go see the rest of the non-Western world. But that’s an article for another time.

Carpe diem!

There are good woman overseas.  I have met many of them and had sex with them when I was in the Marines.  Their families are cool and it is these women who are the last bastion of proper femininity.  American women are truly monsters as Matt states.  Most men have experienced this, unfortunately only a few of us have the balls to talk about it.

And of course from Roosh

http://www.rooshv.com/10-reasons-why-heterosexual-men-should-leave-america
 

 

By: Monkey Werks

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Regardless of how hot she looks in those tight britches, finding a normal woman who happens to own horses seems akin to finding her riding a unicorn.

First read this article from Return of Kings: Avoid Women with Horses.

But I will tell you this, and this is the moral of the story.

Avoid, with all of your might, women who have horses.  It is the reddest of red flags.

Imagine, if you will, a woman with 3 children from 3 different fathers, who insists on hyphenating her name if you were to ever marry, who has a ton of cats, and majored in Women’s Studies with a Masters in Social Justice.

That woman is more reliable, sane, stable, and trustworthy than a woman with a horse.  Women with horses are plagued with financial problems (not to mention psychological), and if they aren’t, they are so rich and deluded you will not even be able to compete with a dumb, inferior animal.

The world of women is already pockmarked with landmines of an unfathomable variety.  You can easily sidestep one as clearly marked by horses.

Watch the video, it has a personal importance to me.

Terry and I are Eskimo Brothers.  Watch the video below for a funny description of what this is.  When I saw this I laughed my ass off for like 2 hours.

We banged the same chick about 5 years apart.  She is into horses.  She loves her horses more than people.  She spends all her money and time on her horses.  Every decision she makes somehow involves her keeping and paying for her horses, even to the extreme detriment of her financial future and any romantic relationships she is in.  I liked her horses but fuck, they are fucking livestock and if the SHTF they are food.  So anyways, I thought I would post this because it was, you guessed it, her sick horse, and the fact that she was probably going to dump thousands of dollars into him that helped bring about the recent end to our relationship, because she had to make a choice, which for a normal woman shouldn’t have been all that hard to make the right choice, which never even involved getting rid of her fucking horse.

Her pussy was tight and yes she would do absolutely anything sexual that I could think of, but is that worth bat-shit crazy and bankruptcy?  I’ll let you decide.

Some various comments below from the web.  I have seen all of this and more after only a year with a horse chick.  Terry spent 4 years with the same one and his stories are like WTF!

Yes, I’m telling you guise. The chicks literally fall in love with the horse. You will constantly be compared in every aspect to the horse, in which you can never win b/c the horse can do no wrong. The chick then gets frustrated at you and begins to despise you….

They are not insane but emotionally they are different from you and I
They love horses but a horse does not show love back, he just cares about food and drink and he will not love you back like a dog
This can fuck up with their perspective of life and they will learn not to love others just like the horse has done to them
Smash but leave right after would be my advice

Think back to all the girls you know who are crazy horse lovers. Bet you they’re all fuking crazy as chit


I lived with a girl who worked at my gym, knew she was a little nutty
Anyway, come to find out when I moved in:
1. The wall had sheet metal horse replica/art on it.
2. The silverwear had horses on it and was styled in the horse-theme
3. Horse plates and cook wear (srs)
4. Horse blankets
Horse everything honest, she used that hair-n-mane shampoo that has a horse on the cover too.
Craziest bitch I ever knew.

My wife is a horse nut and our house is everything horses (even the cookie jars are horse related/all paintings are of horses etc)…and horse women ARE weird….met very few over 20 years who are normal…a different breed.

Lol I worked at a tack store on high school that sold all sorts of horse related chit…. Long story short I’ve met more crazies in a one year time span working there than I ever care to meet again. Old horse ladies are the worst.

Dated a girl from the south for a year, she rode horses and competed, so was did all her gf. none had bf’s I can see now why.
From there on out, I swore if I heard the words I love riding horses, shes a hit it and quit it.

I spend alot of free time on a horse ranch aroudn two horse women, they even say horse girls are crazy and to avoid them TROLOLOL…
they are ALL nuts.

I can confirm this, I am brother of crazy horse lover…

Because their horses are their BFs (srs)
Horses make them orgasm/get wet because of the motion of riding them, so they form a very intimate bond

In my dorm I lived next to the boyfriend of a screamer who also happened to be a horse nut. She’d post creepy statuses about her horse romance on FB.

100% true.
They use the horses as a replacement for a man. Except the horse will do what they want and they can control it.
Same reason why most lesbians have a big dog. Replaces both the men and children in their lives.

Its bc they’re clits are desensitized so they are mad at the world.

glad to know this is common knowledge and some of you guys are staying safe

my sister for one.

seems legit

hmm… My mom loves horses and owned one as a girl, and she is bat**** crazy. Interesting

I honestly think any girl who favors a particular animal has some crazy ass screw loose with the exception of dogs. Srs

out of lurk-mode i come to confirm this. dated one and she was bat****ter crazy

My mother bred dogs for years, registered with OKC, dog shows, all that jazz etc. Has friends in the same business. They’re all crazy as **** and many are divorced or live alone. My mom’s crazy as fuk too.

Then there’s cat lady’s and they’re always fuarked as well.

Too fukking true.
First girl I ever dated was in love with horses and was actually bat sh*t insane, I mean I’ve met crazy girls but this girl was next level.

I also might add that girls who seem to like snowboarding are cool as fukk.

I went to a school on the outskirts of the suburbs/country and my friends, brother and I all had a theory that horse chicks were slutty/crazy.
Almost without fail this theory has been proven time and time again, spot on OP.

Can confirm this theory as well.
First dated horse girl for 4 months, waste of my summer. Crazy ****ing broad telling me she secretly wanted to throw her best friend into traffic and crazy laugh. Her legs were amazing tho..
Second girl went on a first date, she didn’t wash, she smelt and was all sorts of crazy. Then gave me a wtf look when I wouldn’t plow her in car and told her to go inside.
Third girl another first date, this girls hair was like complete grease. Had a bitch attitude and expected me to pay for everything, no thanks for the night or anything. Did not call back. She rage posted crap on fb and deleted me a week later.
Will not happen again unless body and personality are normal. These freaks were from dating sites, so I guess it was expected.

“horse girls” are almost invariably weird in some way.

I can confirm this. First GF was a horse lover and a total slut. Found out afterwards..

My god…. This is true.

Weirdest girl in my high school rode horses and was obsessed with them.

Used to **** around with a horse girl… holy fuk, all suspicions are true. Bish is the craziest, neediest chick I’ve ever met.

Is this a serious mental condition or just a weird coincidence?
Misc doctors?

First girlfriend i had was a horse rider.

Brb u should always come with me and watch me
brb why wont you clean the horse shiat with me
why dont you wake up at six in the morning on your free weekend to go to the horse
brb my girlfriends boyfriend always helps cleaning stall and horse
brb if you want to keep dating me…you gotta take me and my horse in a pack

brb fkn dumped her..not a single horse was seen again

you’re really onto something. I met a girl who really liked horses, bish gave me a lap dance then face raped me…. in front of about 50 people.

ex of mine must of fukked in excess of 70 guys (obviously i didnt know this before we started to smash) crazy about horses, major daddy issues (heroin overdose scumbag) I’m 90% convinced shes fukked her horse (srs)

Ok, there are some positive things about horse chicks such as riding makes their pussies tighter, most are in shape and, well that’s about it, but the list below and the comments above, makes it pretty clear that most, if not all, are probably sluts.

20 Reasons To Date a Horseback Rider

1.We have 4 speeds and many positions.
2.We wear tight pants and tall boots.
3.We love getting dirty.
4.We know how to ride our mounts.
5.We perform well with animals.
6.We like to be in control.
7.We’ll ride it for hours.
8.We know how to handle a big girth.
9.We get off easy.
10.We’re always on top.

11.We like it rough.
12.We have our legs spread all day long.
13.We love using whips.
14.Straddling is our natural position.
15.We don’t mind being bucked around.
16.Endurance riders do it longer.
17.We can ride standing or sitting.
18.We think the fast ones are the most fun.
19.We’re used to having hands between our legs.
20.If we fall off we get back on and ride harder.

Or you can just be this guy.

By: MonkeyWerks

I should have remained single for more than 4 months after my wife T of 10 years left me.  I needed much more time to reinvent myself before I became involved with another monogamous relationship and the absurdity that such a relationship is.  Jumping into another LTR caused me to become emotionally codependent on C and for more than 6-8 months I was unable to start reconciling my emotions from my nuked marriage.  This introduced problems into the new LTR and hampered my ability to move forward emotionally and in life in general.  The bitter taste of the Red Pill did not help my mindset during this time either.  The relationship was interesting in many ways to say the least and I will describe it and C more fully in a later essay, but the failure of this relationship was all but inevitable.

So I find myself single and I feel relived in many ways.  Her lack of any youthful beauty and her feminist attitudes would have caused me to completely lose attraction for her in a short time, and once I was more healed emotionally I have to admit.  Her excuse for not wanting to continue in the relationship was my undesirable financial situation caused by my impeding divorce and my business challenges, but as we all know it was likely a result of her loss of attraction at my temporary weakness and my request for her help and of course her unfettered Hypergamy.  At C’s ripe old age of 45, yes I know, she is seeking a man who is financially secure enough to insure she can continue to live the lifestyle she desires.  As she has stated many time “I like all of my nice stuff”.  Although she makes her own money she has several large and optional expenses such as two horses and her huge amount of consumer debt.  Her SMV is considerably lower than mine even in the midst of my present challenges, but combined with her financial recourses and my mind and skill we could have made some good money in the next 24 months.  I gave her a plan to eliminate her over $100k in debt in 12-18 months, but aside from that I outlived my usefulness to her.  The only explanation is that an even higher value man is likely waiting in the wings, which actually brings solace to the situation.  That would actually explain her other recent behaviors.  As we all know Hypergamy doesn’t care.

A friend of mine told me that women do not like to see a man struggle.  This is a very true statement, because women have no empathy, regardless of the relationship dynamic.  Even though C was asking me that night what she could do to help me, I failed to realize in time the shit test that it was with both women.  As my wife left me when my business challenges came to a head so did C as I was still working at fixing the financial difficulties in my business and repairing my heart from the deep emotional pain I felt from losing my family.  My mistakes were confiding in her and seeking her assistance, mistakes I will diligently try to avoid in the future.  As Tin Man  and Deti correctly state below:

Once again, another good post – for those looking for LTR or marriage. Once committed, Men will over look these types of short comings in a woman, and in many cases, will help them through it (even if in a bumbling or awkward way). For many Men, it’s a shock to the system when their wife (or SO) doesn’t help them when times are “tough”. In my experience, there is more anger than caring during those times – and a basic rallying cry of “get your shit together” or the ubiquitous “Man Up”.

And if Men ever open up about their “feelings” to these same woman that ask the question “just tell me what’s wrong, what can I do to help?” – God help them. Because if you naively believe they really want to know that you may be questioning your path, your life, your existence – it’s the first step down the path of “losing her” and subtracting from her attraction to you. Stay on that path, instead of reversing it, and you end up minus a wife (or SO).

It sucks – especially if you are unprepared, or unknowing of this dynamic. It is the path of Men to be strong, to show no fear, to shed no tears, to show no weakness – to lead. Anything opposite of those have to be done in private, away from her and others. If you are not prepared to do that – or believe that your wife/GF/SO (or even your daughter as Rollo mentioned) isn’t like that – your path will be much harder than it has to be.

Live, Learn, Lead — that’s the path to creating attraction in woman and living a fulfilled life as a Man.

From MEN: What Do You Wish Women Knew About You?

Women cannot bear to see a Man experiencing negative emotions such as extreme anger, rage, fear, despair, despondency or depression for extended periods of time. You say you want to “be there” for your Man; but you cannot do it. If it goes on long enough, it kills the attraction; it sets off your hypergamy alarms; and subconsciously causes you to start hunting for a replacement Man.

A woman seeing a Male go through the above will seek to replace that Male immediately.

Women cannot listen to Men talking about or working out their dating/mating/relationship issues or problems. Women reflexively view a Man discussing such issues as “whining” or “complaining” or “bitterness” or “sour grapes” or “well, you just chose poorly, so sucks to be you” or “suck it up, no one wants to hear you bitching about it”.

As to both of the above principles; when a Male is involved, ratchet up by a factor of 5 the disdain and repulsion a woman experiences when seeing a Male do or experience the above.

As wrong as the mindset may be, and as much as I would rather succeed on my own, I originally believed I could have reoriented my life quicker with assistance first from my STBX wife and second from C.  My wife assisting me would have been of the most benefit for our family in the long run, and if C helped I would have provided her the status and benefit of my company and my commitment for a time, plus I thought she was still pretty hot.  Suffice it to say that I am actually in the best position I can be in so I can build my new life alone which will encourage my adherence to red pill principles and discourage any future reliance on any singular woman for any type of support or recognition.

As far as my future is concerned, I told C repeatedly that MY MISSION was one of my making and that she could be a part of this plan if she was helpful, and if not she was just a fuck buddy and temporary companion.  By taking advantage of her assistance and how that assistance was rendered, I would determine the level of my commitment to her.  When it became evident I was not going to live for her and her desires or marry her, and considering my current state of affairs, she attempted to negotiate her desire for me, which is a known path to destruction for any relationship, and I knew it.

I refused to court her in any sense of the term.  An older woman with quite a number of previous sexual partners, advanced sexual skills, her reliance on her IUD form of birth control and her Strong Independent Woman mentality does not deserve courtship or marriage, and probably not even any type of long-term commitment.  This is a cold reality, but a reality nevertheless.  She seemed to not want to come to grips with the reality of this situation that she squandered her best with various other men and she incorrectly thought that this was her reality.  I would never commit to a woman who I could not enjoy at least a good portion of their youth.  That’s not to say that she did not bring anything to the table, but everything she did offer had steep conditions and her SMV was pretty darn low, so I modified the level of my commitment and emotion investment in her accordingly.   A good woman who is smart, hardworking, attractive, submissive, loyal, discreet in her sexual conduct and good in bed will usually tempt me to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I have seen that it is almost impossible to find all of these basic qualities in most women.  Because of my emotional devastation and my previous feminist indoctrination from my mother I was somewhat attracted to her independence, but as I became more and more red pill aware and the realization that I would never put on wife goggles with her, I became comfortable with the inevitable end to the relationship and my obvious return to spinning plates with younger and hotter woman.

We also cannot forget that she may also be an alpha widow of some degree for her first LTR of 13 years which ended in her fiancé’s suicide.  This man was a very successful business man and apparently had much experience with various woman.  He got together with C when she was 20 and he was about 40 years old.  She would often overtly compare me to him and although we both have gone through similar circumstances and have some similar personality traits, our application of these traits are much different.  I believe that had he has the resources to learn what is commonly discussed in the manosphere he would have not committed suicide.

I suppose she did not like the fact I was a skittles man, now so more than ever.  Her dislike of my increasing knowledge of the feminine reality became more and more pronounced as our relationship progressed.  It would lead to more of my questioning of her past and the incongruities that became very evident.  And of course we know that all women are in fact like that.

I needed her help right now but because one of her horses became injured she refused to help me.  Instead she told me that she cannot be with a man who makes less than her ($55,000/yr).  Shem mentioned some BS about how men get upset or something.  She also stated she wanted me to make her feel less guilty for essentially choosing her sick horse over me, which I always knew she would do.  I told her that I will not alleviate her guilt by telling her it’s ok and not fucked up and that this is entirely her decision.  She will rationalize it away as she uploads pictures of her younger self on OK Cupid.

She admitted to “gaming” me when we met but I knew I was gaming her best I could under the circumstances.  It was when it became necessary for me to deal with my emotional issues and my reinvention stemming from my failed marriage, my ability to game her waned as might be expected in such a circumstance.  Going through the red pill awaking process and learning game does hammer on a man’s self worth and self-esteem at times as it did mine.

The evening we broke up I mentioned my reoccurring thoughts about leaving the country after liquidating my remaining assets and she again expressed a genuine desire to join me on my adventures.  However, when I blatantly refused her company she broke up with me about an hour later, citing my financial insecurity as her reasoning for doing so.  Apparently my worth only goes as far as the fun she can have on my dime.  In the end it will be her solipsism that will get the best of her.  She will end up alone with a bunch of cats I am sure.

Further reading:

http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/21/fem-centrism/
http://therationalmale.com/2011/12/20/the-feminine-reality/
http://marriedmansexlife.com/2012/12/relative-vs-absolute-sex-rank-and-the-forty-year-old-wife/
http://therationalmale.com/2013/09/10/the-male-experience/
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/25/nursing-power/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/11/21/promise-keepers/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/07/11/denial/
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/23/wait-for-it/
http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/13/the-peacekeepers/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/12/smv-in-girl-world/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/06/04/final-exam-navigating-the-smp/
http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/05/16/hypergamy-doesnt-care/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/21/relational-equity/
http://therationalmale.com/2012/05/11/coquetry/
http://therationalmale.com/2013/01/17/mister-softee/
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/female-solipsism/
http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2012/09/why-solipsism-matters.html
http://hawaiianlibertarian.blogspot.com/2009/09/relationship-dynamics.html
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/03/cashing-out/
http://therationalmale.com/2013/11/13/empathy/
http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2012/10/shes-probably-had-better.html
http://socialpathology.blogspot.com/2012/03/sexual-history-divorce-risk-ii.html
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2012/10/06/debasing-marriage/
http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/be-a-skittles-man/

By: MonkeyWerks

It is because they can’t, although they want to.  That’s why.  Even the married Christian men are not getting pussy from their wives.  That was the bill of goods sold me in church.  I was promised a lot of sexy times in my sanctified marriage.  I have learned that that was total BS.  Don’t believe me, then why is porn supposedly so rampant with Churched™ men and why do married men need porn so much?  It is because their wives simply refuse to have sex to them.  These men are also not doing what is necessary to make their wives sexually attracted to them, I will admit.  The Church™ ironically teaches these men to do the exact opposite of what would make their wives positively sexually aroused by them.

I have a good friend that when we talk about banging women, or more accurately the woman I am banging,  he always tells me his morals don’t allow him to pump and dump sluts, or engage with multiple woman at a time.  He rationalizes that his morals will not allow him to engage in such behavior.  He is MGTOW not by choice, but by circumstances. I try to tell him red pill truths but he will argue with me and rationalize these truths away using the very shaming language the feminists do, but the real reason is that he cannot meet women to bang because he lacks self confidence and Game and refuses to understand the principals involved.

He is one of the nice guys that’s has gotten fucked over by every woman he was involved with.  He has told me several times that no woman would want a 50 year old fat and balding man who is broke, and he is probably right, to some extent, but how to the similarly situated alphas bang the woman they do? He has owns his own business, but as like many small business owners he has been through some tough times.  I know hypergamy is a cruel master of all women.  It just sucks that he is in this position.  Will he find happiness and peace without a woman?  I hope he does, but I don’t think he will.  I say this because he wants a woman.  Most men honestly do.  He just is unwilling to do the work to reinvent himself to be in the position to attract the women we wants.

Recently he argued with me about the SMV of men and woman.  He thinks an older woman has the same value as a similar aged man in the SMP and the MMP.  I tried to explain the difference in SMV in the SMP, but he wouldn’t listen.   In fact he tongue lashed me with sever anger, which I stoically let him vent before continuing undeterred.  He is also was very firm on his belief that dating should lead to marriage.  I will mention more on that issue below.  He denigrated me when I told him I would never marry an older woman or a woman who has had more than 1 other sexual partner; if I was even to remarry.  He brought up the forgiveness factor for (reformed sluts), which when I explained the science behind sluts being unable to pair bond and the statistics showing how a woman’s number of sexual partners negatively affect her ability to remain married for life became quite angry telling me stats are meaningless, and went on to explain if you make a decision to not be a statistic you won’t be one, which of course is absurd when considering such important issues as marriage.  I patiently reminded him that statistics are cold hard facts that don’t lie.  This is a problem I see all of the time debating with TradCon’s.  They are so invested in their ideologies they are unable to look past them and then they use these same ideologies as excuses for their failures.

On the issue of marriage Dalrock’s post on boyfriends and Donal Graeme’s post on courting explain the current state of affairs (dating) even with traditional and Christian women.  The behaviors accompanying these social conventions preclude many of these women from even being marriage material.  When considering that all woman use the same program to find husbands, their families uselessness, the issue of female hypergamy and the feminine imperative that has become a cancer in the Church™ it is not hard to conclude that unless a young Christian man marries a young Christian woman who is a virgin about the age of 18-21, he is screwed or not screwed, depending how you see things.  Furthermore, if you are not willing to be the man in your marriage, you don’t deserve a good one and deserve the ass raping you will get in divorce court.  Don’t be this type of man.

Sex is a need and it is up to the man to put himself in the best situation to fill that need as morally and as in line with God’s word as possible.  I will leave it up to you to decide if premarital sex is a necessity in this present day due to the general and unfavorable marriage market that is presented to men.  Personally, I came to the realization that there is no shame in having premarital sex under the current system.  The article Why Christian men don’t deserve virgins says it crudely. The message Christian women are receiving is the same nevertheless?  They are learning in Church™ that there is no shame for being a slut and that Christian men are obligated to marry them once they ask for forgiveness for their lifetime of whorish behaviors.  Here are two more article here and here that you should read.  You don’t want to be the only virgin in the room when all the women have had enough cock to outfit a football team.  That fact will defiantly not get you laid or a wife.  As for saving yourself for marriage, I don’t think men should worry about their virginity as much.  It is far more important for a woman to be a virgin than a man for many reasons.  It seems that most of the sexual dysfunction comes from the actual teachings about sex than the fact the woman is a virgin.  See here also.  I have not guilt for my extensive sexual dalliances pre marriage.

I see a very common, but yet extremely dangerous mindset prevalent with Christian men I speak too.  All devout Christian men I have spoken to about sex, marriage, dating and women in general all say the essentially same things.  They tell me that I should “sacrifice” myself for my wife regardless of her behavior towards me.  They tell me if I do this my wife will then respect me.  They of course conveniently never mention the other issue of biblical submission. Of course I bring up that the bible states that the wife should submit to and respect her husband first, as the bible clearly states that is the order for this dynamic to operate.  To further explain this, a young woman growing up should be respectful and generally submissive to all of the men in her family, such as her father and brothers.  This is evidenced when exploring gender dynamics in scripture, from Sara to Mary.  I also tell these same men that nowhere in scripture does God command men to sacrifice themselves for women.  We are commanded to love our wife like Christ loved the church and take care of them like we would ourselves.  Dying to self for the sole benefit of our wife or any woman for that matter is unbiblical and silly. Therefore, this mindset creates the favorable conditions for a wife to control and lead her husband contrary to scripture.  This is the common problem we see in the feminized Church™ of today.  Most Christian men are simply submissive and controlled by their domineering wives.  Even my ex tried that shit with me far too often, twisting the scriptures as she was taught to do for her own gain and to further her feminine imperative.  It did not work of course, but her feminist beliefs compelled her to nuke our marriage anyways.  It goes against common sense and biblical dictum for the Church™ to actually promote to Christian men to marry these LINE THROUGH sluts reformed virgins, such as this one who is just like my brothers fiancé.  I know there is a very small minority of Christian men who are awesome alphas that run their families with love and firmness, but let’s face it, most Christian men are pussies and they are utterly supplicating to their domineering and controlling wives.  They will defend their ego driven ideology by saying that they are emulating Christ, but Jesus was not weak, nor was he ever powerless.  My ex told me once that she heard in Church™ “The man is the head of the family, but the woman is the neck that turns the head”.  That was an entirely circular statement negating the man’s real headship of his family and giving the power to the wife.  That is just an example of the stealthy indoctrination that is occurring and no Christian man I ever met would ever speak up against such crap, let alone even notice such bullshit spewing forth from no other than a female preacher’s ass (mouth).  The truth is if the typical Christian man did in fact grow some balls and spoke up against this crap to his wife she would stop giving him those patronizing back circles in Church™ and his bi-monthly allowance of sex would be cut off.

Women all want to portray the Strong Independent Woman persona.  My ex wife made a point to make clear to me she was this way when we met up until she left me.  Her leaving was just the end result of her mindset and indoctrination.  She became angry at me for demanding we change Churches for how I say that their teachings were not only unbiblical but how those teachings were destructive to our marriage.  During our discussion I was filled with righteous anger about the garbage spewing from her mouth and told her so, but her anger at my questioning her consistent desire to control our family and lead it to ruin was quite baffling at the time.  But instead of her being able to communicate about this issue in a calm mature way, she decided nuking our family was the best course of action, for her.  What was likely also churning in her mind was her revulsion for a recent business failure I had to endure.  As I was taking the corrective actions and dealing with the particular challenges that were presented to me, it was very apparent the whole episode thoroughly disgusted her.  This was one of the rare times I really needed her to understand and just love and help me help our family get through these hard yet temporary challenges.  This was a test of our marriage and our abilities to work as a team and she failed miserably.  With her help we would have made it through this time fairly well, without our problems were multiplied, especially mine.  However all I received from her was contempt.  The lesson learned was Hypergamy is a cruel task master.  It was during this time I started to doubt my entire marriage experience and my entire belief system..

It is time to fully boycott the Church™ and refuse to finance this direct attack against our masculinity and our marriages.  I wish I could recommend targeting these men for some serious red pill wisdom, but their indoctrination with the fem-centric church and the fear of their wives is strong, likely too strong I am afraid.

All women say they want nice guys, but they don’t really want them because nice guys do not dampen their panties like the alphas do.  Women will treat the nice guys like shit, they always have and they always will.  Women are actually easy to understand.  These rules apply to Christian and secular women alike.  All women respond to the same cues God inserted into their firmware.  It’s the men who are too lazy or who just plain refuse to learn how women think who seem to do the most complaining.  Also, if you look close at them these same men lack any real power in their lives over many aspects of their lives.  Meeting and having sex with any woman that you want is only a part of a successful and enriched life.  God wanted us to live to our full potential for His glory.  He gave us our individual gifts, why do men squander them and live life only half way?

Women who are worth a commitment will usually get one from a decent man.  The problem is that the Church™ and other Christian woman will get in the way of any marriage by teaching women everything they need to know to screw their marriage up.  The only logical conclusion to have is to avoid Christian women in general for anything more than a fuck toy.  It is like they are virgins anyways.

In the end my extensive experience with various Churches™ and Christians in general, specifically my devout ex wife has left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth and has affected my own Christian walk in ways that have left my faith shattered if not completely broken.  Maybe it was my own fathers absence that cause me too often stumble in my walk with God, and like me, my daughters are likely to suffer the same fate.  When my daughters become more self aware and are able to reason such things out, they will come to learn that their mother’s Church™ and her core religious and feminist beliefs were a major contributor to the failure of their parent’s marriage and the subsequent breakup of our family.  I no longer have the spiritual or emotional energy to spiritually lead my children.  Frankly I just no longer care if my children believe in the bible or believe in a more relativistic ideology, and based upon the constant twisting of the scriptures, the feminization of the Church™, and the Churches™ total unwillingness to hold Christian women accountable for their actions, I cannot in good conscience promote Christianity as a valid and positive belief system.  Also the Church™ refuses to temper and correct Christian women’s feral nature and unrealistic expectations.  Therefore, I see no future benefit with either myself or my children’s continued affiliation with either a Church™ organization or individuals specifically because of their belief in Christ.  My story is very common.  Maybe my attitudes will change and maybe they will persist.  Only time and Gods will tell.

Edit: Further Reading:

Reframing Christian marriage
Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.
Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.
Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.
Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

 

By: MonkeyWerks

I wish my father explained theses things better to me.  In fact I am going to write a list for a future article on what my father should have taught me but didn’t.  This lesson I never received bit me in the ass hard.  Vox wrote this article that illustrated the importance of this lesson.

Women fall into two different categories for most men, who we will fuck and who we will fuck and then marry.  Most men will fuck any woman who is above a HB5 depending on circumstances, which is most women, so having a “will not fuck” list for a man is immaterial.

My beautiful ex wife was an HB8 to me, tall blonde and blue, just the way I like them.   As it turned out, on the surface she had the looks and the attitude for being a good wife for life, but in reality should have been on the bang list only.  She was a hardcore feminist and dressed in ways that were generally not feminine and were also not slutty like many of the woman I was meeting time.  Very rarely did I see her in dresses or any sexy clothes, and even now she refuses to wear a sun dress in the summer, but that may change as she hunts for a new chump husband.  Unfortunately, I took her manner of dress to mean she was not a slut like so many of the attractive young women I was meeting.  Instead she was all the way opposite and had no idea what it meant to be a real feminine woman, nor was she taught any other traditional values or domestic skills.  I must have thought at the time that she would be more faithful, which in a way she might have been because I don’t think she was sexually unfaithful during our marriage, but I will never know for certain.  She was just not faithful in the other ways that also mattered.

The lesson is that looks matter to us men for the initial attraction but it is how a woman acts in general that will mitigate even her very good looks and lower her MMV.  As my wife looked like she was much less of a slut than her sister feminists, she did give it up on the 3rd date as I expected her to do.  In her defense I did pull out all of the stops in my seductions.  She never had a chance.  However, it was then that I should have downgraded her to the bang list.  Her becoming more feminine never materialized and as our marriage dragged on she became less and less like the good and sexy wife of my youth and more of our typical, yet still reasonably attractive radical feminists Christians. It really started to go downhill for her and us when she added a bunch of her Church™ nonsense into the mix of her identity.

Dalrock’s comment was quite interesting:

I look forward to the series. One thing which strikes me about the topic is the flip side to the fact that women can bang higher SMV men than they can marry, and that is that men can (generally) marry higher SMV women than they can bang. The first is pretty universally recognized in the sphere, but I don’t see the latter discussed. One corroborating data point is how often a man’s mistress is of a lower SMV than his wife, especially if the wife is still young. (I have always heard that your mistress should always be less attractive than your wife.  I would hope Dalrock or someone could elaborate more on this piece of advice and its origins). ROM

I figured my wife had a lower SMV than I when we met, and we were about even when we married.  She was hot, educated and had a low partner count, from what I have been told at least.  I was attractive and was making good money and owned a business when we met, but joined the Marines soon after September 11, and my income and options went to shit for 4 years.

How the women look and act in the very beginning will help you determine which list to put her on.  She may go from the Bride list to the Bang list, but rarely do they get promoted to Bride from Bang.  As I like to say, trust your gut.  It is rarely wrong.  If your initial feeling was Bang list then keep her there.  Remember, you can’t turn a whore into a housewife.  You will tank me and Vox for it later.

Read this article about doing a Gut Check and trusting your instincts.