Archive for the ‘Dating’ Category

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The most fascinating thing about writing is not only the research involved in composing many of my essays and articles, but it’s the emails and the comments I receive.  I have to say that between commenting forthrightly on other articles from other writers and then writing my own articles, I do oftentimes stir up some strong emotions and opinions in others when I debate them.  I suppose because I am in fact very passionate in real life I am just as passionate in my writing.  My essay on spanking your woman apparently riled up one commenter to such a degree that he shared my work with several women, who must be his friends, in order to get their “opinion” about what I wrote and in turn wrote an interesting comment whereas this essay is my response.

To begin with I think he was seeking the approval of these women more so than anything.  I say this because he received what I believe to be disingenuous responses from them based on the context and what he didn’t say in his comment.  A woman will always respond to a question in a way as to benefit them the most.  The truthfulness of their answer is contextual and is therefore oftentimes subjective.  It could be he was trying to gain their approval in an effort to test the waters because he thinks spanking might be a good idea (unlikely), or he was entering into their frame as a white knight so that he could show these women how great and special he is because he not like that sadistic monkey over at The Reinvention of Man who like to spank his lovers asses red and then have wild sex with them (likely).  The following excerpt from his comment really illuminates the frame the commentator is coming from:

“And I know for a bloody fact that many of them would rather chew off their own arm than be stuck in a relationship that you have described in your blog. I know because I asked them.”

It would have been more useful for the class if he had tried spanking one or two of these women first and then wrote about how his experience was either positive or negative rather than trying to protect the illusion that most women are virtuous.  I suspect he had never spanked or tied a woman up during erotic play.  It’s a pity too.  I also suspect he has many other inaccurate preconceived notions about human sexuality in general.

The questions he should have asked himself is what would happen if I just spanked her when my woman did something I felt was disagreeable?  This goes to the issue of initiating sex versus asking for it.  Asking a woman, “can I spank you” completely misses the point of the exercise and many women will probably flatly respond with a “no”.  They are not saying no because they don’t want to be spanked, they are saying “no” because they do not want a spanking from, you a weak supplicating man in their eyes.  I know this is harsh but the truth is often that way.  This comes full circle back to having the proper frame in order to not only spank a woman, but having her want you to do it, enjoy you doing it and of course having the activity (spanking in this case) bring about positive behavior and reactions such as real respect for her man and of course more intense sexual stimulation.  The key lesson here is that a woman who respects you and admires you will more often than not, want to have sex with you, and she will WANT to please you.

Most plugged in and beta’s are quick to criticize unplugged men’s behaviors and what we write about without first really considering the real issues or the evolutionary biology behind our various essays.  I’m not criticizing anyone because I also had a hard time digesting these ideas when I first began reading the articles and essays I found in the manosphere.  For men who truly want to learn I suggest doing just that.  The links I include in my essays will lead readers to far more detailed information than what is contained in this work.  Continuing, these men will think like this for any number of reasons, two most common of which I will note here.  The first reason is based on a sense of white knightery and of course a skewed sense of chivalry which in our modern society is quite outdated.  The second reason these men criticize works such as this are playing beta game in their attempt to garner a positive response in women they either want to bang or in an attempt to gain a favorable reaction from their wives or girlfriends so they can get that atta-boy and recognition and maybe a little tepid sexy time.

Before we continue let us look at the subject of premises.  I wanted to bring this up because of the 2nd sentence of L’s comment which stated that he has never met a woman who enjoyed being patronized.  I can only surmise by the rest of his comment that he equates spanking and male leadership to patronization of a woman.  He is wrong on that issue as we will see throughout this essay, but the key issue to address is his premise, faulty as it may be.  The truth is that he likely never initiated spanking a woman as it related to his woman’s disagreeable behavior.  I believe that had he at least tried to spank a woman he would have mentioned it and described whether her reaction was positive or negative.  The issue of premise addresses a large portion of his comment and how he tried to create a straw man argument against the idea stating that out of billions of women only a few would like spanking.  The important thing he needs to realize is that he is wrong thinking women are all that different from one another.  Women may like different kinds of food, but all of them like to eat.  Women will also act a certain way most of the time and react to certain stimuli on a primal level also most of the time, given the right circumstances and conditions.  Most men do not understand or appreciate this and refuse to open their minds up enough to learn about it.  I see this when men get angry at their girlfriends who fool around.  They cannot grasp the innate desires a woman often exhibits. A good start would be reading Rollo’s essay that I linked to at the beginning of this section and all of his other essays.  Rollo is probably one of my favorite writers because he addresses many of the foundational truths of evo-psycology and gender dynamics.  That is probably why I link to his essays quite a bit.

I have noticed that when plugged in men are confronted by something they either have no experience with or understand as it pertains to human sexuality or gender dynamics, they immediately seem to ask women what their opinion is about this or that.  We see this with dating advice from woman for men. They fail to realize that women will say one thing and mean something else entirely.  Another such example is as it pertains to spanking directly. This is when a woman says she wants a nice guy.  Any unplugged man knows for a fact that the overwhelming majority of women deplore “nice guys”.  Plugged in men still think maybe his love object will love him if he is nice enough to her and does enough things for her but he soon finds himself with blue balls and dealing with a LJBF rejection while she is getting fucked every which way by the alpha bad boy rockstardrummer asshole.  I want to clarify before we continue that I don’t think women want to be abused with daily beatings, nor am I encouraging that sort of behavior.  I also do not think that a woman would like her man calling her a worthless dirty slut every day either (outside of the bedroom at least).  However most women will certainly not respect and definitely not give the best of herself to the typical nice guy or AFC.  Many women who have already hit or who are approaching The Wall do in fact seek out and find beta victims nice guys to marry them, but those men are considered 2nd or even 3rd tier after she has had all of her fun during her younger most fertile years with all of the hot alphas.

He mentions the woman who was amused by the spanking essay.  She was probably being the most honest of them all.  The fact that these women know the particular name of the protagonist in 50 Shades of Grey suggests they have read the book, which is nothing more than the female preferred form of porn.  I would think that many women who enjoyed that book would also enjoy some spankings from the right man.  He mentions BDSM and its kinkery and how it does not relate to somehow patronizing a woman by spanking her.  I am not sure what his point was, however for many of the individuals who do enjoy a BDSM lifestyle, that is a big part of their life.  Some may live a DDlg lifestyle while some are more into other facets such as the woman being collared and owned, and some others like the dungeon work like in 50SoG.  However many couples do play rope games and engage in soft BDSM, but even all of that is beside the point.  The point is only a white knight or beta chump would consider a man being the head of his household and exercising his headship however necessary to ensure the members of his family are happy and that the household in general is content and peaceful would call disciplining someone, even an adult, “patronizing”.  Nor are spankings considered kinky or BDSM as used in the context I suggested.  When I was in the Marine’s I was disciplined plenty and it was done to ensure the efficient operation of our combat unit.  Because I cannot make my woman dig fighting holes in the yard, a quick spanking is a good alternative that yields many more positive results such as not having a hole in my yard that at some point will need to be refilled.

Society used to have controls on women’s Hypergamic natures, such as slut shaming, marriage 1.0 and teaching male headship.  This was when society, and especially families and marriages were not only gentler in many respects but overall happier and more content.  In our modern society sometimes we need to reintroduce old concepts that once worked so very well.  Amazingly enough as many eventually find out, these concepts really did work as shown in the video in the previous essay, where John Wayne verbally chastises a woman but then spanks her over his knee to reinforce what he said.  The scene ended with him kissing her.  She initially half heartedly resisted but then kissed him back with passion.

Now, I hope this guy read through and thinks about this essay and reads all of the accompanying links.  I hope he does not get to something he does not agree with and stops reading, which is very common.  The men who do that normally end up responding in the typical blue pill fashion by calling aware red pill men misogynists and claim that we have some all sorts of psychological issues, such as he stated that I did in his first comment to my essay.  We in the sphere and unplugged men alike are often called names, shamed and told we are immoral for the mere act of observing and writing about our observations and life experiences and how certain modern day social ideologies affect us in our day to day lives and the lives of other men.  For some reason anyone who does not ascribe to pro-feminine beliefs is somehow labeled a misogynists who hates women.  The real reason these men get upset is that these foundational truths and observations conflict with their feminine conditioning.

My practical advice for living a full eventful life is, “It is better to ask for forgiveness than it is permission”.  This pertains to relationships, sex, and business.  I realized long ago that most men don’t have the guts and instead of doing, they criticize those of us who “do” and try to pull us back in the barrel.  As for the woman who was allegedly disgusted, maybe she was, but I can almost guarantee that not only was she also intrigued by the idea of being spanked by the right man, once she thought about it a little their panties were gooey as a result of the tingles she felt.

I do want to quickly address a few other issues you brought up.  In my marriage my ex wife never abused me.  Her trying to hit me twice does not necessarily constitute abuse on her part or severe psychological issues.  Alternatively, I never abused her either.  Me defending myself and disciplining her also does not constitute abuse.  I will agree with L that she does have anger issues, but most of that could likely be tracked back to her feminist upbringing and her unrealistic expectations of marriageWhen I didn’t respond to her threats in the manner of how she was taught I would, she was became confused and angry because her upbringing and current belief system didn’t equip her with the tools on how to be a good wife in a successful marriage.  My personal toolbox was also lacking.  Other than during sex once in a while I never spanked her although I should have many times.  That is my failing for catering to her feminine imperative and my acting as an AFC.  Had I lead her properly we would still be together, because contrary to what people like the commentator says, women can be taught, as men can be taught.  They are taught every day, what matters is who is leading and teaching them.  Spanking is nothing but a tool to use when teaching a woman to behave in a positive way.  Lastly my ex wife’s beliefs, attitudes and actions were all atypical of virtually every American woman.  You statement in your closing sentence that the hypothesis that women are attracted to assholes has been thoroughly debunked is wholly incorrect when the exact opposite has been not only proven by several studies but also by the man on street who meets quality women and yet rejects the notion of being the nice guy.  Asking some women what their opinion is does not disprove a hypothesis.  Next time please link sources and research materials when forwarding a theory.

Recommended additional reading:

Nice Guys – The Rational Male (multi)

People are People – The Rational Male

Nice Guys – Heartiste (multi)

Chicks Despise Niceguys – Heartiste

Niceguys Lose… Again – Heartiste

Girl Admits She Loathes Niceguy “Boyfriend” – Heartiste

Defining White Knights and Mangina’s – Society of Phineas

White Knighting Explained – Heartiste

 

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Christianity has become extremely feminized over the last 20 years or so and I would say that the women a man would meet in church are worse marriage material than the women he would normally meet in the secular world.  Churched women have an unrealistically high sense of entitlement that would be difficult for any man to satisfy, Christian or not.   And of course as a man you will receive a constant barrage of “Man Up” and “men bad- women good” messages, with some twisted scriptures thrown in for an illusion of credibility.  As for me, I have an evangelical protestant background from when I started attending church on my own in my early 20’s but I was not brought up in any church.   The following are mostly from my own personal observations.  I no longer attend Church nor will I ever again.

You have 3 types of women in church:

  1. The actual virgins are looking for the perfect husband and are often so deluded with lists so long that only Christ himself would qualify as good enough to pop her holy cherry. Many of the young women in this group seem to turn their virginity into a type of idolatry.  It seems that God turns out to be the biggest cock block for those men with enough guts to approach these girls.  I say guts because with these young women it will be like traversing a battlefield with the prize of her pure untouched punanni on the other side.  You will just have to hope and pray (and trust her word, lol) that she wasn’t giving up anal sex and blowjobs in an effort to save her pussy for marriage so she could “technically” still be a virgin.  Of course the average churched young man would need to have every qualification on her 463 bullet point list and need to put a ring on her finger before you can get into her panties.  Just remember that these same women have been promised in all of her church groups, in the sermons she heard and from the elders women that their virginity is so valuable and the sex will be so good in marriage that these women on that faithful night will expect nothing less than the planets aligning, the seas parting and little birds singing as they sit on the windowsill.  Unfortunately it is unlikely that she will even reach orgasm that first night and if her new husband is also a virgin they will have quite a bit of a learning curve to deal with.  The worse things these women could do is marry a man who is a virgin himself.  I think it would be best if these young women married men who were considerably older and more experienced than them as was the norm for most of human civilization.  Only an older experienced man has the hand to deal with these entitlement princesses.  Her virginity would only be partial payment for the work he would have to do with her.  However no modern church would ever condone such a thing.  Some of these women will never learn to settle for a real man when compared to the imaginary prince she envisions, and will end up the 30 year old spinster virgin who has lost whatever looks she had and her fertility window.  Many of these women have an unrealistic vision in their heads of what they think they deserve because God said that they are the princess’s to the His Kingdom.  It’s sad to think of all of the good men they ended up disregarding out of hand because of these expectations.  This woman will still need to be gamed hard by her husband because her entitlement monkey will be strong in her.

 

  1. Now we have the born again sluts who rode the carousel hard and are so screwed up biologically, mentally and emotionally that any man who dates (or God forbid, marry) them is in for a world of hurt, torment and self doubt. (Yes, I have seen this many times). I will say this in case you didn’t figure it out from the previous sentence; NO RINGS FOR SLUTS! Period.  The singles ministries are full of them.  They can fake being good girls but an observant man can pick out these women.  You can always go to the Sunday morning nightclub and score with these women where they outnumber the men significantly, but do not marry them.  These women have low impulse control regardless of their new found faith and only the strongest of alpha’s will be able to hold her down (at least temporarily) in what would likely only end up only being a semi monogamous relationship.  For any guy with Game trying to score with these women they are perfect pickings.  Just don’t marry them.  I have even seen men in church have a harem of these types of women in the same church, although this is very rare because most churches will kick such a guy out quickly.  Another thing with these women is that the church will never hold them accountable.

 

  1. Then you have the old housewives who although may stay at home, home school and all of that, you can tell just by meeting them briefly that they are overbearing harpies and all of their husbands are incurable beta chumps who behind the masks of the “yes dears” are utterly miserable. These women will support women’s preferred type of sexual promiscuity, serial monogamy.  They will make sure that men are adequately shamed for such infraction such as dating much younger women and those who do not tow the modern trad-con line.   It is these women that either directly work with church leaders to drive out good alpha Christian men or create the environment where good alpha men will not come to church.  These women will often try to make sure certain rules are followed in order to give other Christian women moral cover for their bad decisions and lack of discretion.  These same women are the ones raising and teaching these younger women in the church how to get what they think they are entitled too.  It is bad that they refuse to follow and heed God’s words in the matter.

 

The modern church will also ruin a good woman.  Yes, those women do exist in very small numbers.  In all good conscience I would never take my daughters or any woman I am in a relationship with to any modern church.  Now good churches do exist, but they are few and far between.  The good ones won’t have rock bands or child ministries or any of that “new” stuff.  The best type of worship services are held in someone’s living room.  But because the pastors of these churches are usually still beta white knights and total mangina’s I am still given pause.  Either way these good women will be negatively influenced by their Christian sisters and that is never a good thing.  In reality Christian women are not looking for a Christian man to marry so they can be a good wife to him and mother to his children, no, they are looking for a man to worship them like she worships herself.

 

See Also:

Reframing Christian marriage

Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.

Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.

Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.

Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

The Typical Christian Woman’s List

How many times have we seen our friends move in with a woman or have their girlfriends move in with them and then later the relationship always fails and your friend is worse off than if he had not lived with his girlfriend?  I see this all of the time.

But it gets worse for men who live with their girlfriends.  Now we have some interesting data that living with a woman is worse for your health than living alone.

Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Figure 1. Percentage of men aged 18–64 with at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Regardless of age, married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months.

Men aged 45–64 (79.6%) were more likely than men aged 18–44 (64.1%) to have had a health care visit in the past 12 months. However, the association of marriage and cohabitation with men’s use of health care was generally consistent regardless of age. Among both age groups, men who were married were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year. Cohabiting men were less likely than other not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past year (Figure 2).

Figure 2. Percentage of men aged 18–64 who had at least one health care visit in past 12 months, by age and marital status: United States, 2011–2012

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Married men were more likely than cohabiting men and other not-married men to have received recommended clinical preventive services in the past 12 months.

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recommends that, on a regular basis, all adults have their blood pressure checked, men aged 35 and over have their blood cholesterol checked, and adults with hypertension be screened for type 2 diabetes (3). Marriage and cohabitation were both related to men’s receipt of these clinical preventive services. Among men for whom the service was recommended, receipt of each service was more likely for those who were married than for those who were cohabitating or not married. Cholesterol and diabetes screenings were less likely for cohabiting men than for other not-married men (Figure 4).

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Summary

Married men were more likely than not-married men to have had a health care visit within the past 12 months. This association was observed for both younger and older men, but only among men with health insurance. When men have the means to access health care, spouses may play a role in their use of health care by directly encouraging men to seek preventive care and by indirectly evoking in men a sense of economic and social obligation to the family (1,2).

The results suggest that cohabiting partners do not play a similar health-promoting role. Compared with both married men and other not-married men, cohabiting men were less likely to have had a health care visit. They were also less likely to have had selected clinical preventive services in the past 12 months, including blood pressure checks and screenings for elevated cholesterol and diabetes. In fact, cohabiting men are a group particularly at risk of not receiving clinical preventive services recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. Only about one-half of men in this group for whom cholesterol and diabetes screenings are recommended had received these screenings in the past 12 months.

Summary and charts from the CDC:

So what does all of this tell us?  Married men are usually encouraged by their wives to take better care of themselves and go to the doctor for preventative health care services.  Single men living alone are less likely to go to the doctors but still they seek out preventative medicine in substantial numbers.  For men who cohabitate with a woman they are the least likely to go to the doctors for preventative medicine and they take care of themselves the least.  It seems that they are less healthy overall than both married and single men living alone.

Looking at this as a social dynamic, I speculate that the women these men live with care much less about them than a wife would.  Living with a woman is so much different than living with your wife (who you did not live with previous to marriage) for a variety of reason.  There is a subconscious dynamic that although it initially may be hard to see, it is there.  Not only will you be less healthy but you will be less happy overall.  There is never a good reason to live with a girlfriend.  Just ask yourself what are the benefits that you cannot get living alone, with male roommates, or even just marrying her?  Will she appreciate you more?  Will you have more and better sex?  Will your girlfriend whom you agreed to live with love you more?

I think the worst thing a man could do is live with a woman and then marry her.  The dynamics involved will almost certainly assure that not only will the marriage ultimately fail but the marriages that do in fact succeed (in relative terms) the man will be more miserable overall.  In these situations such as this the man becomes preconditioned by the faulty premise of the previous cohabitation dynamic.  Thus the merging of the different dynamics from cohabitation to then marriage is such that most men are powerless to navigate the minefield of a woman’s hypergamy and solipsism.  Maybe she really loves you and wants to always be around you.  That is fine, but remember, the anxiety she may feel when you two are not together is the same emotion that helps keeps her attracted to you.  When you agreeing to live with her you take away that anxiety and you lose your power and most importantly room to maneuver and you might die sooner.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

Sexless Marriage Series #2

The Spreadsheet Couple who received so much notoriety as of late as shown some very disturbing trends in how a large portion of American men and women think about sex, especially sex in marriage.

One issue as Dalrock recently brought up is the vagina’s power that women often then misuse with most men.  I agree that the nets reactions was based on the sudden loss of the wife’s V-power and all women’s sudden worry that their men would wake up and realize how tenuous their own power plays really were.  Go read Dalrock’s article and come back.

I will however disagree with Dalrock’s observations that women were only half hearted in their support of the wife.  The articles were essentially all the same, essentially telling us that this guy creates a spreadsheet because his wife didn’t want to have sex and that although she should have used better excuses, no man, and especially this lame ass, should ever expect sex from his wife or any women.  What I read was pretty much all female and most male writers supported the wife directly.

Another issue is the very disturbing trend that I have seen reading the comments on the various articles.   This trend is one of male entitlement to sex, specifically as it relates to the sexual dynamics within a marriage.  Feminist have been telling women that their body is theirs to do with as they please regardless of consequences or context.  At first this was directed towards abortion and the feminist’s belief that only women have a right to decide whether to kill their babies or not.  Of course the fathers feeling in the matter are irrelevant.  However, this same attitude spilled over into the sexual arena.  Now we read stories such as this where a wife consistently denies sex to her husband and he is then compelled to document her refusals and reasons in a spreadsheet.  Instead of working on her marriage WITH her husband, she runs off and posts the spreadsheet and her brief story in the net hoping to garner the support of her sisters.  We then see women and their male supporters come out of the woodwork in droves supporting this woman using the same logic that a woman has an absolute right and even an obligation to refuse sex to her husband anytime she does not feel like it.  The modern woman and mangina really do believe that a woman should NEVER put out if she did not immediate desire sex and that sex should ONLY occur if she wants it.  Of course a lot of blame was laid at the husband’s feet because he approached his wife everyday for sex.  Apparently men are not supposed to do that either.

Now we all know, or should know, that you don’t “ask” a woman for sex, you initiate sex with her.  Oh, I can hear those feminists yelling rape already. Speaking of which, the feminists and manginas often state that anytime any man, husbands included, cajoles, pesters or negotiates for sex it is rape when the woman finally gives it up so her man will shut up about it.  Although I find having to pester any woman for sex unacceptable and I would never do that, I do not think such a thing is rape.  I need to write about what rape is and what it is not.  I know that essay will piss a lot of people off.

So what are a woman’s rights and obligations in regards to her husbands or boyfriends sexual desires and needs?  As I stated before, MEN NEED SEX.  I am not talking about duty sex which is lame and is usually less satisfying than looking at porn and jerking off, I am talking about good mutually enthusiastic and satisfying sex.  Without regular quality sex men will normally drift away from his spouse emotionally.  In time he may want nothing to do with her.  This happened to me. My now ex wife always maintained the belief that men are not owed sex and we ended up drifting far apart, so much so that I had zero desire to even try to reconcile with her after she left.  Needless to say our sex life was lame, I looked at porn, she pulled a Jenny Erickson and left.  On the other hand an ex girlfriend of mine not only told me she believed her job was to keep me utterly satisfied, our sex life was such that I had no thoughts of looking at porn and we even adopted the practice that every orgasm we each had would be with the other person.  No more going solo.  She didn’t care if I looked at porn, but we both wanted to share ourselves with each other all of the time.  Simply put, she derived satisfaction by tending to my needs and I derived satisfaction tending to her.  Yes there were times I didn’t want to have sex but because I cared for her I did it willingly and enthusiastically and I’m sure there were times she didn’t want to have sex also.  Ok maybe not, but she still would have had sex anyways.  Another thing to mention is that by cuming inside her pretty much every time I think the bond between us was greatly increased.  Also, regular sex keeps our man parts in good working order and we do feel discomfort and even pain if we have to go too long.  Either way men’s bodies are designed to have sex and ejaculate very regularly.

As Dalrock puts it:

A wife who almost never wants to have sex with her husband is a terrible wife.  As with a slut, only a foolish man would (knowingly) fall in love with a frigid woman.  However, unlike the slut she isn’t even desirable.  A frigid wife is powerless, undesirable, and (romantically) unlovable.  This recognition is what so horrified women around the world when the spreadsheet went viral.

We know that some women will refuse sex often, even when she wants it in order to leverage the power of her pussy.  However this is not the way God or nature intended things to work.  Reading Dalrock’s statement above we see that a frigid wife is a bad wife, a woman not even deserving of our love.  He is right.  Even the ones who “claim” they do cook, clean, etc. unless they are tending to her husband’s sexual needs she is still a bad wife.  You can hire out most of a wife’s other duties, but sex should not be one of them.  Sex is the only bio-chemical bonding a couple will experience.  I have yet to meet or hear about a sexless couple that is happy with two normal adults.  Although no woman seems to understand her own body as well as she should, that is fine because the amateur gynecologist is here.  Reading the comments from Scarymommy’s article it is easy to deduce that sex reinforces the bond between a loving monogamous couple such as a husband and wife.  You will read many of the wives report that they feel so much closer to their husbands with the more sex they have with them.  Without getting into the science, let me say that the science backs this up.  I just made a Walsism, oops.  Anyways, I will save the scientific details for another essay I am working on because it’s that important and it’s interesting.

A wife owes her husband sex.  Even in other committed and monogamous relationship sex is owed to the other partner.  We explored the health benefits and the benefits to the relationship.  Let’s now look at another issue the feminist will certainly scream about.  Us men we work hard for ourselves and our families.  Oftentimes we sacrifice our happiness by not doing things we would rather do or work a job we would enjoy more but the pay would be much less.  Also when we get married we EXPECT that there will be regular and enthusiastic sex with our wives as much as reasonably possible.  For the promise of our commitment, which men honor way more than the modern women does, we want sex, which is also part of the promise and commitment on the part of the woman.  What we do not want is to be the second man eating off of the same plate, which all too often happens.  Married women and women in committed monogamous relations have a responsibility to have a genuine desire, and to actually have sex with their men.  She owes it to him for his commitment to her and in exchange for his work.  If she no longer is sexually attracted to him then she should end the marriage and refuse to take any of his assets when she leaves.  In other words a woman might have to fake it, yes I know, but if she truly loves him her negotiated desire will likely change to the genuine desire which is so important in any couples relationship.  When a woman marries or otherwise commits to a man she loses her right to continually say no.  If she has a medical condition that makes sex difficult she needs to address it immediately.

One thing about control and feminism as it pertains to this instant issue.  Feminism and by extension pretty much all American women desire to control men’s sexuality.  They will use their frigidity, or refusals to have sex, their anti-porn stance, and of course the all too common tactic of using sex as currency.  All of this boils down to not just women attempting to control men’s sexuality but women controlling the whole man.  If you have a woman like this it’s simply better to leave.  It will suck at first but in the end a man will be better off.  I have noticed that many frigid women and women who use sex as power have deep emotional issues and unresolved baggage in their lives.  All you have to do is talk to a feminist pansexual woman for only a few moments to smell the psychosis.  One study pegged over 20% of American women fall into this category.  Unfortunately these same women can behave themselves long enough to snare an unwitting man into a relationship with them.  As I said before the man should just leave her.  If for whatever personal or financial reasons a man decides to stay, he will have to game the shit out of her hard and be at the peak of his own emotional strength.

Sexless Marriage Series #1

I was first going to write this essay about the Spreadsheet couple that has recently gone viral over the internet and the sphere here and here just to mention a couple of good articles, but I wanted to address this one thing first.  Men who look at porn.  Much has been written about this subject and I think most of it is wrong.  I am not going to take a moral stance against it because doing so will not only dilute the topic because I believe the common moral stance against itself immoral.

Men NEED sex.  Be it from their wives, a girlfriend, a mistress, hooker, Fuck Buddy, or good old jerking off it does not matter, we need to have that release often and when it comes to actual sex it needs to be good.  If we are in a loving monogamous relationship, regular quality sex causes us men to love and bond to our women more.  Likewise they bond to us more.  It’s funny how biology works.

However, the attitude of the modern American woman is that we, as men, are not entitled to sex and therefore should never expect it, even in the confines of a monogamous relationship or even marriage. Yet, these same women will state that they are entitled to an earth-shaking orgasm every time they bless the man with access to their golden magic super awesome vaginas.  Of course any man who might want sex from a woman, or dare I say expect it as part of their relationship is a creep.  This even applies to the husbands of frigid wives.  These women will of course get quite angry if a man ever rejects her sexual advances and will even post his rejection of her online with her hamsterlation on why she is so wonderful and how he was an asshole.  The other side of this coin is that men do not owe women commitment, fidelity or our resources.  If we are married and have scrotial fortitude we may very well leave them or fool around on these women.  Sorry babe, but that’s the price you will pay for your rejection of us.  Also it’s worth mentioning that a woman who only offers duty sex or who is otherwise frigid or unenthusiastic is quite unattractive, at least to me.

For the hapless beta or man who is otherwise chained to an unhappy marriage because of his religious beliefs there is porn.  Yea porn!  It’s maybe not the best thing for reasons I won’t get into right now but for many men it’s a valid alternative to getting a mistress, going to hookers or divorcing his wife.  Just remember that for most of you moral shackled men, your wife has done things too.

If a woman wants to keep her man around she needs to give it up enthusiastically and often, she needs to stay fit and be an overall pleasant person to be around.  The only happy relationships I have seen all had an exciting and full sex life in common.  Most western women simply refuse to be exciting in bed with their men.  They use sex as a commodity to be traded for men’s resources, favors and oftentimes commitment.  I don’t think many women even do this conscientiously but as a result of their upbringing in our feminist and female entitlement driven society and the unshackling of women’s behaviors due to feminism.  Then they take this destructive attitude about sex into their marriages essentially putting their own pussy on a pedestal all the while forgetting that sex is one of the main (and most important) components to bonding with your spouse.

I have to mention that when many of these women were young, and considering the modern view regarding female promiscuity, these women, now wives, likely had sex with quite a number of partners prior to marriage which would have lessened their overall value as potential mates and have increased the chances any marriage they entered into would ultimately fail.  Some became alpha widows and in all likely hood irreparably damaged their ability to pair bond to any man they might meet in the future.  When these women finally did catch their beta husband after a solid ride on the carousel, they will all too often deny him the wonders of her past sexual experiences and only give her now husband infrequent and vanilla sex.

One issue that came up several months ago was with Matt Walsh’s article telling married men that when they look at porn they are committing adultery thus lending moral justification to millions of women to justify divorcing their husbands.  I was heavily involved in the comment section which seems to have been erased for some reason.  It was good that I made notes at the time.   There were over 3000 comments on that article back in February.  Now there are only a little over 300.

In the comment section of that article there was a vigorous back and forth between commentators stating essentially the following three positions:

  1. Almost 95% of the female commentators stated, and many times with much vitriol, that a married man looking at porn is in fact equal to and in some cases worse than the act of committing adultery with another woman. Most of these women were self professing Christians. Several women stated that when they caught their husbands looking at porn they were mortified and so disgusted they never wanted to haves sex with their husbands again. In many cases They also stated that previously they were more than willing to have sex with their husbands but were rejected because their husbands would rather look at porn than have sex with them. I would say that a majority of these same women ended up divorcing their husbands for this reason alone, or for the ones who have not done so yet are seriously considering divorce. Most of these women plainly state that no man, including their husbands, are not entitled to, nor shall he expect sex on a regular basis with his wife.  Of course these same women get upset when their husbands would rather look at porn then have duty sex with them. These women then lavishly praised Walsh on his courage in writing the article condemning all men who dare to look at porn as adulterers, perverts and rapist in waiting.  This group of women and their supporting men always blames the man.  They say things like any man who “needs” sex lacks impulse control. They shame anyone who has a different view than theirs, oftentimes telling these individuals that they are sorry for their partners because the commenter in support of porn is such a wicked vile individual.  Most will shame any man or woman who even mentioned that looking at porn may be caused by a spouse not getting sex from their wives.  Most of the vitriol is directed to male commenter’s and the female pro porn commenter’s are responded to with a little les hate.  The people in this group never mention women looking at porn, divorce porn, or women and their romance novels.  The men in this group seem to me like they are soft and catering to their wives opinions.

 

  1. Another camp defended anyone looking at porn. This group postulated that in many cases porn use seems to be the symptom of them not getting enough actual and “quality” sex in their marriages and from their wives. This camp stated that INSTEAD of committing REAL adultery by having sexual relations outside of the marriage covenant they will look at porn and take care of their own needs instead.  These men along with a few women who supported these men’s actions, would rather have good fun and enthusiastic sex with their wives but either their wives are lame in bed (read duty sex) or their wives are just not interested in sex with them.  As stated above, this group was shouted down and shamed by the anti-porn people for their opinions.

 

  1. The third and smallest group consists of both men and women who both look at porn with and without their spouses or partners, but each allowing the other to look at it and even encouraging the other spouse to explore their own desires and fantasies online and later discussing what each other likes and even using porn as foreplay. From what I gleaned from the limited information in the comments, these men and women seem to enjoy the most stable and yet exciting marriages.  They also seem the happiest with their spouses. One thing I did notice is that in these marriages and relationships neither person overtly identified as being a Christian.

 

It should be obvious by now that feminist and trad-cons share many harmful ideologies in regards to male sexuality, male shaming, porn and divorce.

It seems to me that women who stridently identify as being Christian are the ones who seem to not only feel they are entitled to withhold and deny quality and regular sex from their husbands but that they will almost certainly be willing to divorce their husbands for the singular reason of him looking at porn, thereby stealing his money, resources and children from him using the Church™ and its femcentric teachings along with articles like those from Matt Walsh and Jenny Erickson as a justification for their decisions.

As for the article I think its pure rubbish.  All it was is pandering to women, especially Christian wives, giving them moral cover for frivorcing their husbands.  It was pointed out by a small minority of aware men that this article and others like it highlight that not only do men need regular and enthusiastic sex with their wives, these men when deprived will take the path of less damage and look at dirty pictures and videos instead of carrying out an actual affair with another woman, which in reality if done, may have a far greater negative consequences for the marriage than a man simply looking at porn, or would it?

Jenny Erickson left her husband over his alleged porn use.  It seems that in her case and with the many men who have to resort to porn and masturbation to relive themselves in their sexless marriages, porn is just a symptom to the far greater problem of having a wife who continually denies sex to her husband and when he finally does get it on his birthday and anniversary, if that, it is worse than lame.  In these marriages porn is more fun than having to throw a fuck into and likely overweight, definitely overbearing unpleasant woman.

There are many real world consequences for women’s prior and current bad behaviors.  Sex and female promiscuity prior to marriage and women’s entitlement attitudes are two issues that have negatively affected more marriages than any other issue, including men looking at porn.

His name is Robert Lindsay.  Yesterday I posted an essay about his criticism of Game and his personal attacks on various writers in the sphere.  I commented on the essay he wrote pertaining to the same subject.  I thought we had a good back and forth going on at first as I was thinking he just did not get some of the basic premises of Game theory and so forth.  However after reading more about him I see that he is suffering from severe cognitive dissonance and probably some sort of narcissistic disorder because he thinks everything in the world should be fair and men shouldn’t have to change or be engaging in order to succeed with women all the while attempting to learn Game himself.  It’s weird actually.  I guess he wants to still be able to be a dweeb and score with hot chicks.  It was no surprise that I found out he is a radical liberal and a Communist.  Like all liberals he lives in a fantasy land and he is a hypocrite because anyone who disagrees with him is an asshole then banning them if they have a “hostile tone”.  I have to LOL this one.

Anyways, throughout his blog in almost every article he bans someone and anyone he disagrees with.  I suppose I should have not been surprised that he banned me for disagreeing with him and then calling me an asshole.  I truly wanted to help him because looking at his picture and reading his articles; he needs all the help he can get.  But like it has always been stated, some men you just can’t help.

Below are my comments to him and his responses.  There is value in that it may help those trying to overcome their misunderstanding or objections to Game. Or we can just have a quick laugh at the weird guy’s expense.  Whatever dude.

 

Robert Lindsay

August 5, 2014 at 4:41 AM

To me, a 10 is simply a woman in the Top 10% of attractiveness. That’s all there is to it, real simple.

Game isn’t futile. But the notion that all men can be Alphas is insanity, and this what the whole lunatic PUAshpere is all about. It’s madness.

Nevertheless, I think most guys would do better to learn some of the principles of Game and to try to be more Alpha. The more you learn Game and the more Alpha you act, I think the more success you are going to have with women.

That whole PUAsphere is absolutely repulsive. I don’t even see how you guys can read any of that shit. SMFH.

Also, how come 100% of Game and PUA sites are run by reactionaries?! Why do all Game and PUA sites have be part of some shit called the Alt Right (the modern reactionary movement). Game is simply the truth. Why don’t progressive men need to learn this stuff too? I mean the truth is that many of us Left guys have always known a lot of this stuff, and personally I have been practicing a lot of this Game stuff for 35 years now, but still, it is sickening that the only websites we can go to to talk about how to get girls are run by reactionary shits and misogynist fucks. Sickening.

 

monkeywerks

August 5, 2014 at 10:47 PM

Really dude?  The common sites promoting game promote nothing more than positive masculinity and self improvement in one flavor or another. Maybe it’s that that you really have a problem with? Improving one’s self often leads to more attention from women. Its cause and effect. For the moralist they can choose the best women to date, have sex with, marry, etc. For amoral men they may choose to bang as many of these women as they can.

The biggest issue I see that you have is that you seem to think that these writers think much less of men who would be considered “beta” or “lesser alphas”. Now I can see why it’s funny to make fun of men who are “omegas” and such. (I use these terms loosely of course). The omegas seem to want to keep their head in the sand and deny the existence of many of our current problems by just wishing they did not exist. Many of these same men will choose to criticize Game in all of its formats instead of spending their time improving themselves or going out and actually meeting women.


Anyways back to my point. Roissy, Vox, Deti, and all of the others seem to have a genuine interest in helping the betas and even the omegas improve themselves and improve their success with women. I have been an avid reader of many sites in the sphere for quite some time and very rarely if ever do I see the vitriol you expressly state exists.

Although I have always had pretty good experiences meeting women I do not consider myself a womanizer or great alpha by any means. However I still met many a HB8 and above and married a woman who objectively was considered a HB9. She is tall, blue with long blonde hair and has a high IQ. Unfortunately it was my BETA mindset and her feminist ideology that led to the failure of the marriage. Not that I’m sorry about it because it’s what I learned from these sites that helped me to realize what a catch I am and helped me to be even more successful at meeting new higher quality women.

As for the other issues you bring up, I will say that your take is very debatable and conflict with my own personal observations and experiences. Even my wife had to prove herself to me when we first started dating because I was dating several other women at the same time. She didn’t like it of course but I think that it increased her attraction to me. That’s the way it works in reality it seems.

Robert Lindsay

August 6, 2014 at 12:01 AM

Trust me, I have no truck with masculinity of self-improvement and trust me, Game sites go far beyond that.

You want to give me a reason why all PUA sites are swarming with the most horrible misogyny? You want to give me a fucking reason why I have to be a Godddamn reactionary to sharpen my pickup skills? You want to give me a reason why most Game sites not only hate women but also hate men who don’t make much money (See the Libertarianism) and people who aren’t White (notice that at this point most of the PUA idiots are White nationsists if not overt fucking Nazis). You want to give me a reason why most of these PUA tools are insanely narcissistic if not sociopathic? You want to give me a reason why all PUA advocate treating women like shit? You want to point out these PUA sites that don’t advocate being a promiscuous player Alpha and instead teach you how to settle down with your wife? You want to name me one fuckin site like that?

Ok, now you see my beefs.

You may not believe this but I read these sites myself, and of course I practice Game myself. If you knew about my life, you would realize that I was already practicing “Game” in the late 1970’s in my teens (all of us were – we had to be). A lot of this is stuff you already know or have been doing anyway. There is some new stuff there and I have been taking notes from all of these Game sites all the time. I agree that they have a lot of cruel and awful truths to tell, and I agree that your life tends to go better with Game.

Now you see that I am part of the Loyal Opposition maybe you will calm down.

I am very happy you used Game to have a happier and more productive relationship with your current girl and with the ones who came before. I myself am using Game to improve my relationships. My beef is not with Game per se but with some of the subaspects of it and mostly with the fucktards who peddle it.

You seem to be implying that most men would do better if they tried to be more “Alpha” in their behaviors, no matter how the Alpha – Beta – Omega scorecard plays out when the whistle blows. I agree. Alphas, Betas and Omegas can probably all improve their lives with women by employing variations of Game.

As you can see, we are actually on the same page here.

monkeywerks

August 6, 2014 at 1:18 AM

Angry much? For one Dalrock promotes relationship game within a Christian context while also promoting a more moral execution of game theory. He does not advocate male promiscuity. I would love to emulate his marriage. Rollo Tomassi is another who speaks a lot about gender dynamics while leaving out politics and most personal experiences. That is 2 sites instead of just 1 like you asked for.
As for your accusation of misogyny well I think your opinion is quite subjective because your premise is faulty. How about we talk about misandry?
The blacks have their own sites. Furthermore blacks and whites approach mating and gender dynamics differently. Learn about black’s intergender dynamics pre and post Reconstruction Acts then report back. Your findings will surprise you. Also, there is no rule saying I have to write my essays in such a way as to encourage readers from other races. That’s just pure PC bullshit. Otherwise none of these sites are fundamentally racists. Point to a specific example of blatant racism, if you can.


As for your issue of Game being reactionary. We all react to outside forces. When there is a bad storm coming I close the windows to my house. Game is a reaction to feminism (of all flavors) and the harmful effects it created and the harmful ideologies it inspired in women and to mangina type men. You come out strongly saying that the men who successfully use game in their mating strategies are sociopathic, well considering that the newspeak for otherwise normal behaviors is now considered bad I’m not surprised you make that accusation. It’s wrong though to the extent that the behaviors are developed and controlled. Most powerful and successful men have some or many of these so called traits. Its natural human behaviors in a certain subset of our population. You do not have to like the fact for the fact to be true.


Poverty is a state of mind. I actually currently broke, but I’m not poor. I have made money and I have struggled financially as I’m currently doing so now. My current situation does not affect my ability to meet high quality women to any great degree. When I have more money, sure its easier but that’s just common sense. More money makes you more attractive to women. However for those of us with less we have to compensate with our awesome personality.

Simply, game works. Men without game don’t get laid, at least not very often and usually not with quality women. Love it or hate it, that’s just the way it is.

You have obviously invested heavily in your opinions and your subsequent hate of all things Game related even though you use it. Some of my most important advisers I do not like personally. However that does not change the validity of their info or knowledge. I see value for what it is, where it is.
I think it’s intellectually dishonest of you to criticize Game and its advocates while practicing the techniques it promotes. If not for those men we would not have learned what we have and our lives would be less rich for it. You should be grateful they spend the time they do to write and compile the information they put out, sometimes at a personal expense.


As the old saying goes, love the player, hate the game.


I see you trying to couple your liberal ideology with game theory and it various flavors. I see that this may be creating a sort of dissonance in you. Us smart guys sometimes have a problem with this. However your resistance to things is a normal symptom of taking the red pill and in time it will pass. It’s a hard thing to reevaluate ones belief system and find out that there oh so many pretty lies.
There is more I can write but I’m tired. One last thought. I have read many of the comments to your articles and what I see is a lot of men who refuse to accept the truth and the reality about how the world works and thus probably do not succeed to any great degree with women. Life’s not fair and it certainly as hell aint equal.

 

Robert Lindsay

August 6, 2014 at 2:40 AM

Look I am banning you. Your presence here suffices to prove to me that almost all of you Game characters are assholes. You are also violating the Comments Rules. Hostile tone.

HAND!

I found this post on Alpha Game to be a very entertaining and illuminating back and forth between an older Christian man denouncing Game and Deti, Vox and Yohami to name but a few.  The OP was originally about a socially inept liberal manboob’s rant calling Roissy an asshole for his writing about Game, women’s natural hypergamy, and essentially the poor state of things in our morally corrupt society that has gotten rid of all restrictions on bad female behavior while shaming men who exhibit positive masculine traits.   Unfortunately this is a common stance held by the majority of men who throughout their lives, have utterly failed with women and the White Knights who proclaim themselves followers of Christ.  (There are also many secular white knight manboobs.)  Both groups, while sometime differing in their ideology, cause great harm by encouraging women to not only behave badly but they give an air of acceptance to women’s poor behaviors and downplay the consequences of those behaviors.  They are also harmful in respect to misleading men by denying the true nature of women (they think they are all special snowflakes) and denying all levels of Game.

It’s interesting to note a few things found not in the article per se, but in the comment section.  The first issue of import is that all women are in fact sexual beings.  I even read something recently that stated that women are in fact more sexual than men.  I can see some truth in that.  For the sake of staying on topic we can put that aside for now. The important issue is that all men and women, in and out of the Church are members of the SMP.  Whether they are married or not is also irrelevant because even in marriage couple have sex, or at least they should be doing so, exclusively with each other of course.

As Deti stated here, even women in the Church are looking for sex with attractive men.  In fact some of these women may even have husbands.  You can go into any medium or large sized church and see that the women are dressed not for church but for the Sunday Morning Nightclub.  I think the short skirts and panty shots should be proof enough.  However too many men will try so hard to tell us aware men that these women are all good girls when in fact many of them are reformed (born again) sluts.

I encourage you to read the article and the comments for a pretty good debate that shows how Game is not only valid but a necessary component to not only meeting women but maintain a happy marriage.  I will point out that Game itself is not immoral.  Some aspect such as banging many different hot women may infuriate the moralist in some of you, but before you condemn game, lets condemn the behaviors of women and our society at large, like female sexual promiscuity and no fault divorce that gave rise to the necessity of Game in every man’s life and in every mans marriage.

Personally I like having sex with a variety of attractive women, but I prefer the special connection found only in a monogamous relationship with one woman I can love and trust.  However those women are exceedingly rare.  Because of this I am selective about the woman I have sex with by my choice, not social ineptitude.   Game and my naturally attractive persona give me this ability to not only make this choice but to be choosy.  Without Game I am susceptible to not only falling into beta behaviors in a comfortable monogamous relationship with a woman and thus would encourage the premature end to the relationship, I would only have 2nd or 3rd tier women to choose from or be chosen from.

To me there is a profound difference in meaningless sex, or sex just for the act of ejaculation and passionate sex with a woman who I really love, care about, and trust.

My married sex life lacked the passionate sex I so craved all of the time.  I can count on my appendages the times that the sex was actually very good during my marriage.  It was not like my wife was not hot, she was.  She even tried to do things from time to time.  However we just never had that chemistry, or if we did, something else was screwed up between us.  I do blame a lot of our marriage problems of her feminist beliefs and her neo-Christianity.  I still think that had she not joined a gyno-centric church we would have made it and had had a good marriage.  Also she was very repressed about her own sexuality in general.  I once believed, albeit incorrectly, that this was a problem I needed to correct.

After many years of lame duty sex I thought I sucked at being a lover.  The lame sex in my marriage affected me deeply.  I began to doubt myself.  I felt inadequate.  I was dying inside, slowly over many years. After she left I doubted myself even more.  I felt worse.

I even spoke to a couple of my female clients about it while I was still married and they offered to “grade” me.  I declined their offers, which I regret doing so now.  After she left I noticed that with the variety of women I started banging that I was in fact a very good lover.  They not only told me so, they showed me with their sexual responses and their bodies.  I enjoyed the passion of the entire act from seduction and foreplay to post coitus cuddling.  My lovers enjoyed how I loved the entire act.  One particular woman I met after my wife left me brought out all of those many years of my sexual repression and my wife’s denial of my own sexual pleasure.  She allowed me to explore my sexuality in a safe environment and with her.  The one thing her and I had was a connection.  I always looked forward to our lovemaking.  For days after we made love I felt complete, I felt like a man.  These feelings compelled me to be a better man overall.  These feelings she aroused in me also compelled me to want to please her in every way.  I wanted to spend time with her when I could.  It was with her I no longer doubted my sexual abilities.  It was after her that all of my lovers showed me that I was ranked among their very best.  For that I will always be grateful to her.  Unfortunately, the relationship had to end for other reasons, but our time together will be counted as a fond memory of mine.

After that woman and some others I have had, I no longer desire meaningless sex with just any woman.  It is more than knowing I am the prize and my natural aloofness.  It is that in a loving relationship where we both love and trust each other a connection happens that leaves me feeling full.  It is that connection that I am seeking.  I know there will be meaningless sex along the way, but I will always seek out the “connection” that makes me a better man.

I know couples that have that connection.  I have spoken to both men and women about their sex lives.  The best relationships are those where they both can feel open and honest with each other to not only express their fantasies but explore them with each other.  I think this woman gets it from the female point of view.  Another thing I noticed is that when a woman embraces her own and her man’s sexuality he will normally stop desiring other women and desire to commit to only her.  I think that women who have a problem with their men looking at porn should take heed to this.  If he can equate that full feeling and connection that (he craves with you) to having sex with you, then I don’t see porn being a problem in your relationship.

Empowered Strong Independent Women™ will scream that its just a number.  Well, when your dealing with numbers you have to do the math.  Right?  The video below puts a funny spin on how many miles of cock a woman will take by the time she is ready to settle down with Mr. Right or more correctly Mr. Good Enough.  Let’s all say it out loud “Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks.

One thing Terry failed to address in the video is that the men described in the article are probably Alphas in their own ways and they likely are the ones rejecting (for long term relationships and marriage) the women that follow this mating strategy.

I am working on several essays that deal with the issue of why most men don’t want to marry promiscuous women.

I’m a car guy so I’m going to use a car analogy.  In some cases I will pay top dollar for a newer rare hard to find car with low mileage, such as a SRT-8 Challenger, however I will never pay more than getto-ride price for any generic car with over 120,000 miles.  I see men all of the time paying full sticker price for cars (women) that have over 250,000 miles (or 500 miles of cock) on the clock.  These cars have knocking engines, the tires are bald, the seats are worn and the body is all too often banged up.

Watch the video below.  It explains a part of these issues using some math.  Also, follow this blog because the following essays will explain these issues in detail.

500 MILES OF MR. RIGHT

/\ For whatever reason I can’t embed this video properly so click on the link above. /\

By :MonkeyWerks

Women hate to watch a man struggle; it makes them sick and their pussy as dry as popcorn farts.  They will make every excuse to run away from you as fast as they can unless of course you are that uber alpha rock band bass player.

When C broke ended our relationship, she did so because I am pretty broke. That night I had to ask her if she had really ever struggled in life, specifically financially.  I knew the real answer, but I had to ask anyways.

Some men have not had to struggle either, but I think most men have had times where they had to struggle financially and sometimes even to the point of being on the brink of losing everything.

Most of us when we go through hard times pick ourselves up and work to fixing the problems.  We scrimp and live frugally.  We change our lifestyle in order to reduce the need for financial resources.  In other words we adopt a simpler lifestyle.  Sometimes this simpler lifestyle gives us a means to a sort of financial independence.  I have seen many men who made large annual incomes yet although they had more “nice stuff” they did not have any independence and their overall happiness with their lives was lower.

As I see it financial independence is such that I could live my life and do what I want when I want.  This may not entail having the resources to become a jetsetter but being able to live comfortably on a minimal annual income stream has always been a goal of mine.  My current lifestyle allows me to work only a few hours per day.  With the income that comes in I can tend my garden and pursue many of my other interests.  Some of these pursuits also make money which offsets the costs of my various hobbies.  As things in my life stabilize, I believe that in the next 24 months I will be living a much more carefree life filling my days with my children’s laughter and the satisfaction of doing the things I most want to do.  That is freedom.  I don’t mind doing the hard work to live naturally and off of my land reloading my own ammo or working on my turbo cars.  Freedom does not necessitate I drive an $80,000 car or live in a 5000 sq/ft house.  A nice home on some land and my current collection of fast cars is plenty for me.  This was a goal I though even my ex-wife was interested in.

However, for many women my ideal would never be enough.  They would always want that big house, a big diamond and the expensive car to drive.  In their gut they will desire to acquire the symbols of social status, including the hot alpha man if they can pull it off, but a beta will do if he makes enough money.  Many women have been raised to expect this either by being brought up in a household with higher than average income or being married to or involved with successful (but beta) men.  Of course they need a man to work his ass of so she can realize her ambitions, which is the common denominator in all of this.  These women will trade whatever they need to and nothing more to secure a mans resources.  This can be her conditional sexual intimacy, children and even a cleverly disguised feigned genuine interest in the man’s goals and ambitions.  I have seen this far too often.  My ex-wife admitted this to me one day in not so many words and C has also admitted to me that they were both very interested and supportive of my ambitions until it became apparent they too would need to work hard and help me if they were to benefit from my labors.  These women acted the same differing only by degrees and detail in the execution of their overall plans to run away as soon as it became necessary that their hands might get dirty.  Upon realizing this I had decided I will never work for a woman ever again.  I will only work for me.  She may follow me and even possibly enjoy SOME of the fruits of my labors if she helps out, but she will never be either the motivation or the sole recipient of these fruits.  I will never buy a woman a house or car.  I will not pay for her hobbies such as her horses.  The only thing she offered me was sex and escorts and young sluts can provide that if necessary and for a much lower overall cost.  Most women will make excuses and run whenever it became necessary for them to help their man out a jam.  This is why it is important to never rely on a woman or her help in order for you to realize your goals.  Of course this was not always the situation, but it now seems the norm with the modern woman.

My ex-wife is living the typical post divorce lifestyle.  I really do feel bad for her, but the choice was all hers and so are the consequences.  She seems to be just getting by but is not doing well by any means.  Many of my influences, such as simple and holistic living, have rubbed off on her and her current lifestyle depicts this, but her execution of my influences is terribly flawed, which is why she will always struggle financially until she either gets remarried or gets a higher paying job thus trading much of her freedom of choice for more financial security. She would also have to stop homeschooling our daughters at this time.  Between her added expenses of paying for her own household without my help and her desire to keep my children away from me, she is running ragged by her situation and it shows.  She is starting to look like shit.  She needs a roommate to help her financially because she is unable to afford live on her income alone.  She eschewed being married to me, a loving and faithful husband who worked hard for his family and a father for our children to living with various other women with their (probable illegitimate) children which only accelerates my daughters being fucked up even more.  She will have no choice, like most divorced women, but to find (settle for) and marry a man who can (put her on a pedestal) provide for her financially.  My mother did this, my brother’s fiancé with her 3 children from 3 different men is doing this with my brother and C had been attempting to groom me to do this for her. Almost every other divorced woman I know or have met aspires to this same end if they have not already succeeded in securing their provider chump after their run on the carousel.  This illuminates several other problems and issues I will address in later essays but suffice it to say although she has tried I won’t be this fucking guy.  However, this essay is not about my ex-wife, it is about my former lover C.

I am going to use her as an example because it is a perfect one in my opinion, to show how the modern woman thinks in these and similar situations.  It also shows why I have no desire to bust my ass for an older slutty woman, a single mother, a reborn again Christian virgin, or a feminist.  In Financial Frame I explained some of the dynamics at play.  One thing I want to mention is that she made a very big deal about how she made more money than me.  I personally did not have a problem with that personally, but she did.  She stated that men feel inferior when their woman earns more. I think that Rollo had it right when he wrote about this dynamic conflicting with her Hypergamic nature,

She was raised in an upper middle class home with a SAHM and had never had to go hungry or worry if there was money to buy shoes.  Her parents have more than $3 million in the bank from what I understand.  In and of itself that’s good.  My family was quite poor growing up and I don’t wish than on anyone.  When she graduated high school at 18 she was engaged to and lived with a guy and apparently she worked but they were pretty broke.  Now to be fair, her parents made her work from a young age and instilled a good work ethic in her.  In this regard she was awesome and at first I thought she would be an asset to my endeavors, but as was shown above, she only expended her energies for things that would benefit her directly and immediately.  The two main drawbacks to her upbringing are that her mother is a narcissist and due to inadequate bonding caused C to have acquired a form of Borderline Personality Disorder as many American women currently have to some degree and she was brought up by her beta father to be a Strong Independent Woman®.  As I incorrectly assumed that my wife would assist me in getting back on track, I also erroneously assumed that C would also assist me in setting up a life that we both could benefit from and enjoy. That was apparently not the case.

Continuing with her story, when she was about 20 she moved in with a 40 year old man she worked for a within a week after they started dating.  This man was also broke from the divorce he JUST went through although he owned the company she worked for.  So because she worked for her future fiancé she was getting a paycheck and he was unable to draw a sufficient one for himself the first year.  She helped pay their bills during this time.  After a year he was apparently back on his feet and all was well in her world.  He bought her some horses and a farm in order to have them at home.  To give you an idea on this man’s wealth he owned a ½ million dollar boat race team.  He died after they were together for about 13 years and she inherited the bulk of his estate, not his children from what I understand.  They never ended up getting married and he committed suicide when she left him, at least that’s her story.  She could have been fucking everyone behind his back for all I know.

She seemed to have been an asset for this man.  Judging by her stories she helped with the boat team and was integral in the operation of his companies.  It is apparent that this man made her an alpha widow.  Allegedly, he was her 3rd sexual partner and the last before she became unable to pair bond to another man.  She told me she had about 6 other sexual partners after him and I was her 10th.  Yeah right.  It became obvious that because this man’s history, situation, including having 2 daughters and our personalities being strikingly similar, I was to become his replacement for her.  Unfortunately for her, she was all used up by the time her and I met, not only sexually, but emotionally as well which caused me to decide that she was unqualified for any serious investment on my part.  Furthermore, it just grated on me when she made comparisons between he and I. I did call her out on that shit when it occurred and ignored her for a week or so.  Out of her admitted number of past sexual partners there were 3 STR with lesser alphas or greater betas, and the rest were likely pretty beta. I can only surmise by listening to her talk about these men and asking questions. Thankfully, I was wise enough to see from the beginning she had been searching for her first alpha’s replacement by engaging in serial monogamy coupled with a young fuck buddy and a couple of Craigslist hookups with her playing the unicorn.

Fast forward to about 18 months ago and this is where we met.  She could not afford groceries, she never had much if any cash available and she ALWAYS used her credit cards to buy everything.  I think she had like a dozen of them at this time.

Her financial picture is as follows.  She spent about ½ the estate she inherited on her horses to the tune of more than $250k-$300k.  She works as a secretary for a company making over $50k/year.  When we met she was deeply in debt to the tune of $105k for credit cards and about $300k for real-estate for a total debt load of $405k.  With her other assets she is about $200k in the black.  Not good at all, her liabilities really offset her otherwise considerable assets.  And she is only a secretary with no education, which is interesting. At her rate of burning through her finances she would have been broke long before she was able to retire had I not taught her how to fix her situation.  Now she is in a much better financial position and she has been able to retain 90% of her assets while reducing her considerable liabilities.  I was happy to assist her in the off chance I ended up deciding to commit to her for the long term, but as it turned out I would need her help in the future.

She apparently slept with all the right men until she met me. All of the other men made good money at their jobs.  I even saw a past email she wrote to a friend where she boasted that four men she was dating consecutively all made over $100k/yr.  When I read this her real intentions became crystal clear to me.

Between business challenges and my wife leaving me I was both an emotional and financial wreck.  I sold some assets to barely live off of for the first year.  It was hard and things got shut off from time to time but I made it.  I will admit she did help me out in small ways, but never in a way that would have alleviated any of the considerable pressure I was under at the time.  When she ended the relationship, at a time I REALLY needed her help, she stated very clearly that, “if I am with you I would feel obligated to help you, so in order for me to not feel this obligation I have decided to end this relationship between us”.  She also stated afterwards, “I feel guilty about doing this, so can you just tell me it’s ok, (for being a bitch -my thoughts) so I won’t feel so bad about this?”  I cannot even comment on the selfishness of her words and how her hamster must be running at light speed.  She also mumbled something about all the other men wearing her out.  I think I chuckled at that. I know that it was a nuclear shit test in the order of 100 megatons.  This one was even bigger than the ones she gave about me banging younger woman because she is too old and how I blew off her concerns about the woman I fucked a couple of times during our most recent break up.  The only way I could have diffused this one was when I told her that I am fine with her leaving if she was that selfish and really trying to meaning it.  Either way, I failed in defusing that particular bomb.  I am now indifferent to her, which may even make her want to come back to me, unfortunately.  I had to call her last night (about 3 days after breakup) for some information she had that I needed and I was pretty well indifferent to her.  She asked how I was doing, feigning concern, and I flatly told her I was doing well (I am honestly) and I was hustling up more work.  I never asked how she was doing, nor did I particularly care to be honest.  She did however make it clear she was alone on a Saturday night.  I figured she would be out mining for men again, but I think she mentioned something about her going back to online dating in the spring which is mating season after all.

I will be more diligent of assuming a more amused mastery in my future relationships because ALL WOMEN ARE IN FACT JUST LIKE HER and women do not have any empathy for a man’s problems.  She had to make she also told me she always had money to pay for her stuff, and “she liked her nice stuff”.  Maybe that’s how she managed to burn through so much of her money on just bullshit with nothing of any real value to show.  Her shit test was her hamster validating her rationalizations for leaving me because she did not want to loan me $1000.  That was all I needed and she had the money.  I would have paid her back in 60 – 90 days and I offered her sufficient collateral for this loan.  I hated even having to ask her for this loan for my own egotistical reasons, but if she did loan me the money it would have saved me a bunch of grief.

She never had to struggle financially even when her finances were pretty well fucked before I formulated the plan for her to get out of her pretty dire situation which helped save her ass from impending financial doom.  No good deed goes unpunished.  Like her, most women who are currently or were in the past subsidized by a man (or several men) will refuse to help the man in her life when and should he need it either with physical work and her time or financial help, especially if it would require that she went without a comfort item for a short period of time like buying a new piece of equipment for her hobby.  Women seem to have no moral imperative to do what would be considered right or selfless by men’s standards. I have a friend, who if I asked for his help, he would help even possibly to his own detriment, because he is a good friend and he is knows I would do the same for him. I have FINALLY learned to NEVER ask a woman for help.  Even if I have to sell my ass, it is better than asking for a woman’s assistance on anything in life.  Just to be clear I have no intention of selling my ass or becoming a homo, it was only an example.

This essay might sound whiny and yes, I am bitching about her fucked up thinking, but she really illuminated some very important issues and she showed me who she really is as a person and proved to me that modern women are in fact really fucked up. Her actions and words were very clear and convincing evidence that women don’t suffer like men, a woman will not help a man even if she could because just by virtue of the man needing her help reduces or eliminates his attractiveness to her and no woman want to feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions.

I realized that I never intended to be with her long term because I was seeing her as more and more undesirable by the day.  I knew I could and would do so much better as soon as I got on my feet again and pulled my head out of my ass.  She was too old, had way too many cocks, was an alpha widow and in the end argumentative and domineering.  Her pussy was fun but in the end that’s about all she brought to the table.  As it turns out the best thing happened and I can concentrate on my own life without any distractions from her.  And yes, I will spin more plates dammit.

Please comment if any of you have seen similar situations happen.  I am interested in hearing your stories.