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I found this article through Empathologism’s site and found it to be quite interesting in that it is consistent to what I have pointed out in some of my recent essays.  Before we get into the overall theme, I want to point how this article and this site in general seems to encourage beta behaviors as it also caters to a primarily female audience under the auspice of helping men in their marriages.  It is important to point out directly that if a man does indeed follow the advice given, it is likely it would negatively affect the happiness of both partners and probably lead to the premature ending of the relationship.

As Anonymous commented on Empath’s article:

The article is deeply flawed as relationship advice because the problem is stated in such broad and fuzzy terms as to be almost without meaning. Empath hit it : what problem is to be solved, here? By lumping in all sorts of visual behavior into one, catch-all category “looking at other women” the author conflates many different male actions with “bad”.

Whatever the intent of the author (and I am not so kind as Empath) the effect is to give a blank cheque to women’s demands. No matter how strictly a man may control his eye muscles, from time to time in the Western world he will see a pretty woman, and by declaring the simple act of “looking” to be a crime or a sin, men are set up in the “Nothing you can ever do will be good enough for me” pedestalization trap.

There is a not very subtle dominance issue in the original article – men are to be accountable to women, period. Oh, and apparently to God as well, but women first. So the standard Churchian hierarchy is reinforced: God > women > men > children.

Although as always, there is more than a whiff of: women > God > men > children, even though it would be stoutly denied by the original author and the various female commenters. But frankly, “God says you have to do what I say!” does bleed over from the first hierarchy into the second without much effort. […]

[‘’’] Even if the author is well meaning, he’s just fanning fears. I’m sure that there are women who will find the article and who were sorta content with their husband / LTR, but who after reading it will find themselves compulsively watching his eyes in order to see what he’s looking at, then taking notes for future reference. So as with so many other “advice” articles, the author is creating trouble in other people’s lives by playing on the fears of women.

In the end, it’s just another example of how the notion that women must control men, and men must submit to women, has become shot through all aspects of at least US society.

(emphasis mine)

Most of the aforementioned article represents two separate but related issues that need clarifying.  The first is that women will often act hypocritically.  In this article and other on the site, they are flavored with men bad>women good either overtly or implicitly.  However when men understand women’s behaviors and motivations it will help us navigate through the various minefields and shit tests that will inevitably come our way.   This is part of the feminine primary social conditioning that the ‘sphere has illuminated over the last decade or so.

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Men should never notice this.

 

It is worth noting that the comment section represents the various shit tests these women gave their partners and the results of their partners failing and them.  At first, I thought that the women who get upset at their men looking at other women were possibly mate guarding behaviors, but mate guarding would entail that woman actively try to please her husband all of the time and thus keep him interested and invested in their marriage.  However, that attitude was not shown in any of the comments, nor was it presented in the article.  In fact Smith put the entire onus on the man to somehow suppress his natural urge to look at beautiful women.  When considering preselection and women’s attraction triggers, a man who looks at another woman and especially other women showing interests in him normally trigger behaviors in the woman that would reinforce her attraction to her husband.  This would manifest as behaviors such as the woman being more sexually available to the man and a likely increase in a woman’s general submissiveness to her husband.  This is the proper context of mate guarding behaviors and as such should have been mentioned by Smith.  Instead he promoted the general fem-centric view that woman should control men via a man’s sexuality by essentially encouraging the tactic of the women throwing a temper tantrum until a she gets her way.

A brief reading of the comments, which were mostly a repeating of the same mantra, show us that women have no understanding of men and our sexual impulses, nor does it seem that most women are in fact really interested in learning how to improve their relationships.  One such natural and normal impulse is when a man glances and even starts at a beautiful woman.  The feminine imperative tries to shame men and tell them that we are wrong and we should “bow our heads” and divert our eyes” in a perverted display of submission and supplication to the feminine goddess.  As I stated in my comment to his article:

Women have no right to castrate men’s natural urges to appreciate other women.  As one respected writer (Empath) indicated “women generally feel a strong inclination towards letting their morals be guided by their emotions”.  That is probably the underlying cause of a majority of frivolous divorces, only to be spurned on by shit article like this that give women the moral cover they desperately seek.  These same women would set aside their high morals when it comes time to divorce their husbands, proving the above statement.  It’s all about you honey, aint it?

I suspect that the majority of the women who take issue with this are at, or have already hit the wall.  All the comments showed was that overwhelmingly these women are very insecure and not content in their relationships.  I suspect that their men simply look at women who are much hotter than themselves.  I wonder if these women honestly assessed themselves and made themselves more attractive to their men by growing out their hair, losing weight, and being sexually more available and exciting how much less this would be a problem in their relationships.  Of course that would mean they would have to stop being delusional and maybe appreciate their husbands more, but I digress.  The women who got their panties all twisted up seem to constantly need the affirmations and reassurances of their beta husbands that they are the most beautiful women in the world to them, blah, blah, blah.  I pointed out in my comment that no, that with a lot of men their wives are in fact NOT the most beautiful women in his eyes.   It is not hard to notice that with the typical married woman, they gain weight, cut their hair short and it seems deliberately make themselves unattractive.  Even in cases where a man’s wife is still a hottie, men should use caution in telling her this all of the time.  In many cases (with the typical woman) this just adds to her already excessively large ego.  Nothing good comes out of pussy worship.  I will add that in a healthy relationship a man shows his wife his attraction for her on a daily basis through his actions, and a woman with a healthy attitude accepts this as his affirmation of love and attraction.  What we commonly see is that too many women have unhealthy attitudes and expectations.

Fat_chicks_1   Many mens wives.

If I can point at one important thing I learned is that women are responsible for their own feeling, good or bad.  It’s not something men are responsible for in this age of female fickleness and general flakey behavior. Smith adds to this by encouraging the delusions of these women.  He has several articles about how husbands are not attracted to and do not want to have sex with their wives.  The comment sections were hamsterbation in the first degree.  Reading many of the comments on some of his articles it is apparent that many of these women are seeking validation for their behaviors which simply turn their partners off.

My comment was met with the typical white knight shaming language from the author and of course he preemptively dismissed the entire context and premise of what I said;

Michael, You’re correct that insecurities can drive some of the conflict between partners on this subject. However, so can how many men look at other women in such a disrespectful way. Many of your points can apply to both men and women. I wish you had chosen to present them in a more balanced manner, because unfortunately your one-sided, angry approach is going to cause your points to get dismissed. –Kurt

(emphasis mine)

There are two quiz’s on his site, one for men to see how shitty of a husband he is, and another is for wives so they can validate their feelings that their husbands are in fact shitty.  Below is the pitch.

Guys

  • Are you a good husband? Learn more about yourself, take the quiz and see how you rate
  • Learn what women really want from their husbands
  • Discover ways to be a better husband

Ladies

  • Want to know what kind of husband you have? Take the quiz and see how your husband rates
  • Learn how to get the husband you’ve always dreamed of

The questions were typical and I received the grade I expected.

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How can you not look?

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Comments
  1. […] Source: Sometimes You Just Have to Look […]

  2. […] is a true philosophical statement, ironically made by arms dealer Yuri Orlov.  In Sometimes You Just Have to Look, I noted that men and women will act according to their instincts and it is these instincts that […]

  3. WJ says:

    “In the end, it’s just another example of how the notion that women must control men, and men must submit to women, has become shot through all aspects of at least US society.”

    Paranoia will destroya.

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