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The most fascinating thing about writing is not only the research involved in composing many of my essays and articles, but it’s the emails and the comments I receive.  I have to say that between commenting forthrightly on other articles from other writers and then writing my own articles, I do oftentimes stir up some strong emotions and opinions in others when I debate them.  I suppose because I am in fact very passionate in real life I am just as passionate in my writing.  My essay on spanking your woman apparently riled up one commenter to such a degree that he shared my work with several women, who must be his friends, in order to get their “opinion” about what I wrote and in turn wrote an interesting comment whereas this essay is my response.

To begin with I think he was seeking the approval of these women more so than anything.  I say this because he received what I believe to be disingenuous responses from them based on the context and what he didn’t say in his comment.  A woman will always respond to a question in a way as to benefit them the most.  The truthfulness of their answer is contextual and is therefore oftentimes subjective.  It could be he was trying to gain their approval in an effort to test the waters because he thinks spanking might be a good idea (unlikely), or he was entering into their frame as a white knight so that he could show these women how great and special he is because he not like that sadistic monkey over at The Reinvention of Man who like to spank his lovers asses red and then have wild sex with them (likely).  The following excerpt from his comment really illuminates the frame the commentator is coming from:

“And I know for a bloody fact that many of them would rather chew off their own arm than be stuck in a relationship that you have described in your blog. I know because I asked them.”

It would have been more useful for the class if he had tried spanking one or two of these women first and then wrote about how his experience was either positive or negative rather than trying to protect the illusion that most women are virtuous.  I suspect he had never spanked or tied a woman up during erotic play.  It’s a pity too.  I also suspect he has many other inaccurate preconceived notions about human sexuality in general.

The questions he should have asked himself is what would happen if I just spanked her when my woman did something I felt was disagreeable?  This goes to the issue of initiating sex versus asking for it.  Asking a woman, “can I spank you” completely misses the point of the exercise and many women will probably flatly respond with a “no”.  They are not saying no because they don’t want to be spanked, they are saying “no” because they do not want a spanking from, you a weak supplicating man in their eyes.  I know this is harsh but the truth is often that way.  This comes full circle back to having the proper frame in order to not only spank a woman, but having her want you to do it, enjoy you doing it and of course having the activity (spanking in this case) bring about positive behavior and reactions such as real respect for her man and of course more intense sexual stimulation.  The key lesson here is that a woman who respects you and admires you will more often than not, want to have sex with you, and she will WANT to please you.

Most plugged in and beta’s are quick to criticize unplugged men’s behaviors and what we write about without first really considering the real issues or the evolutionary biology behind our various essays.  I’m not criticizing anyone because I also had a hard time digesting these ideas when I first began reading the articles and essays I found in the manosphere.  For men who truly want to learn I suggest doing just that.  The links I include in my essays will lead readers to far more detailed information than what is contained in this work.  Continuing, these men will think like this for any number of reasons, two most common of which I will note here.  The first reason is based on a sense of white knightery and of course a skewed sense of chivalry which in our modern society is quite outdated.  The second reason these men criticize works such as this are playing beta game in their attempt to garner a positive response in women they either want to bang or in an attempt to gain a favorable reaction from their wives or girlfriends so they can get that atta-boy and recognition and maybe a little tepid sexy time.

Before we continue let us look at the subject of premises.  I wanted to bring this up because of the 2nd sentence of L’s comment which stated that he has never met a woman who enjoyed being patronized.  I can only surmise by the rest of his comment that he equates spanking and male leadership to patronization of a woman.  He is wrong on that issue as we will see throughout this essay, but the key issue to address is his premise, faulty as it may be.  The truth is that he likely never initiated spanking a woman as it related to his woman’s disagreeable behavior.  I believe that had he at least tried to spank a woman he would have mentioned it and described whether her reaction was positive or negative.  The issue of premise addresses a large portion of his comment and how he tried to create a straw man argument against the idea stating that out of billions of women only a few would like spanking.  The important thing he needs to realize is that he is wrong thinking women are all that different from one another.  Women may like different kinds of food, but all of them like to eat.  Women will also act a certain way most of the time and react to certain stimuli on a primal level also most of the time, given the right circumstances and conditions.  Most men do not understand or appreciate this and refuse to open their minds up enough to learn about it.  I see this when men get angry at their girlfriends who fool around.  They cannot grasp the innate desires a woman often exhibits. A good start would be reading Rollo’s essay that I linked to at the beginning of this section and all of his other essays.  Rollo is probably one of my favorite writers because he addresses many of the foundational truths of evo-psycology and gender dynamics.  That is probably why I link to his essays quite a bit.

I have noticed that when plugged in men are confronted by something they either have no experience with or understand as it pertains to human sexuality or gender dynamics, they immediately seem to ask women what their opinion is about this or that.  We see this with dating advice from woman for men. They fail to realize that women will say one thing and mean something else entirely.  Another such example is as it pertains to spanking directly. This is when a woman says she wants a nice guy.  Any unplugged man knows for a fact that the overwhelming majority of women deplore “nice guys”.  Plugged in men still think maybe his love object will love him if he is nice enough to her and does enough things for her but he soon finds himself with blue balls and dealing with a LJBF rejection while she is getting fucked every which way by the alpha bad boy rockstardrummer asshole.  I want to clarify before we continue that I don’t think women want to be abused with daily beatings, nor am I encouraging that sort of behavior.  I also do not think that a woman would like her man calling her a worthless dirty slut every day either (outside of the bedroom at least).  However most women will certainly not respect and definitely not give the best of herself to the typical nice guy or AFC.  Many women who have already hit or who are approaching The Wall do in fact seek out and find beta victims nice guys to marry them, but those men are considered 2nd or even 3rd tier after she has had all of her fun during her younger most fertile years with all of the hot alphas.

He mentions the woman who was amused by the spanking essay.  She was probably being the most honest of them all.  The fact that these women know the particular name of the protagonist in 50 Shades of Grey suggests they have read the book, which is nothing more than the female preferred form of porn.  I would think that many women who enjoyed that book would also enjoy some spankings from the right man.  He mentions BDSM and its kinkery and how it does not relate to somehow patronizing a woman by spanking her.  I am not sure what his point was, however for many of the individuals who do enjoy a BDSM lifestyle, that is a big part of their life.  Some may live a DDlg lifestyle while some are more into other facets such as the woman being collared and owned, and some others like the dungeon work like in 50SoG.  However many couples do play rope games and engage in soft BDSM, but even all of that is beside the point.  The point is only a white knight or beta chump would consider a man being the head of his household and exercising his headship however necessary to ensure the members of his family are happy and that the household in general is content and peaceful would call disciplining someone, even an adult, “patronizing”.  Nor are spankings considered kinky or BDSM as used in the context I suggested.  When I was in the Marine’s I was disciplined plenty and it was done to ensure the efficient operation of our combat unit.  Because I cannot make my woman dig fighting holes in the yard, a quick spanking is a good alternative that yields many more positive results such as not having a hole in my yard that at some point will need to be refilled.

Society used to have controls on women’s Hypergamic natures, such as slut shaming, marriage 1.0 and teaching male headship.  This was when society, and especially families and marriages were not only gentler in many respects but overall happier and more content.  In our modern society sometimes we need to reintroduce old concepts that once worked so very well.  Amazingly enough as many eventually find out, these concepts really did work as shown in the video in the previous essay, where John Wayne verbally chastises a woman but then spanks her over his knee to reinforce what he said.  The scene ended with him kissing her.  She initially half heartedly resisted but then kissed him back with passion.

Now, I hope this guy read through and thinks about this essay and reads all of the accompanying links.  I hope he does not get to something he does not agree with and stops reading, which is very common.  The men who do that normally end up responding in the typical blue pill fashion by calling aware red pill men misogynists and claim that we have some all sorts of psychological issues, such as he stated that I did in his first comment to my essay.  We in the sphere and unplugged men alike are often called names, shamed and told we are immoral for the mere act of observing and writing about our observations and life experiences and how certain modern day social ideologies affect us in our day to day lives and the lives of other men.  For some reason anyone who does not ascribe to pro-feminine beliefs is somehow labeled a misogynists who hates women.  The real reason these men get upset is that these foundational truths and observations conflict with their feminine conditioning.

My practical advice for living a full eventful life is, “It is better to ask for forgiveness than it is permission”.  This pertains to relationships, sex, and business.  I realized long ago that most men don’t have the guts and instead of doing, they criticize those of us who “do” and try to pull us back in the barrel.  As for the woman who was allegedly disgusted, maybe she was, but I can almost guarantee that not only was she also intrigued by the idea of being spanked by the right man, once she thought about it a little their panties were gooey as a result of the tingles she felt.

I do want to quickly address a few other issues you brought up.  In my marriage my ex wife never abused me.  Her trying to hit me twice does not necessarily constitute abuse on her part or severe psychological issues.  Alternatively, I never abused her either.  Me defending myself and disciplining her also does not constitute abuse.  I will agree with L that she does have anger issues, but most of that could likely be tracked back to her feminist upbringing and her unrealistic expectations of marriageWhen I didn’t respond to her threats in the manner of how she was taught I would, she was became confused and angry because her upbringing and current belief system didn’t equip her with the tools on how to be a good wife in a successful marriage.  My personal toolbox was also lacking.  Other than during sex once in a while I never spanked her although I should have many times.  That is my failing for catering to her feminine imperative and my acting as an AFC.  Had I lead her properly we would still be together, because contrary to what people like the commentator says, women can be taught, as men can be taught.  They are taught every day, what matters is who is leading and teaching them.  Spanking is nothing but a tool to use when teaching a woman to behave in a positive way.  Lastly my ex wife’s beliefs, attitudes and actions were all atypical of virtually every American woman.  You statement in your closing sentence that the hypothesis that women are attracted to assholes has been thoroughly debunked is wholly incorrect when the exact opposite has been not only proven by several studies but also by the man on street who meets quality women and yet rejects the notion of being the nice guy.  Asking some women what their opinion is does not disprove a hypothesis.  Next time please link sources and research materials when forwarding a theory.

Recommended additional reading:

Nice Guys – The Rational Male (multi)

People are People – The Rational Male

Nice Guys – Heartiste (multi)

Chicks Despise Niceguys – Heartiste

Niceguys Lose… Again – Heartiste

Girl Admits She Loathes Niceguy “Boyfriend” – Heartiste

Defining White Knights and Mangina’s – Society of Phineas

White Knighting Explained – Heartiste

 

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Comments
  1. L. says:

    Haha… Well this took a quick turn for the weird. I’ll be honest; I didn’t read most of that nor do I intend to. I would, however, greatly enjoy meeting you and your … err … “partner” in person, as I’ve never experienced or witnessed a healthy relationship that involves anything that you’ve described (though I’ve seen many unhealthy versions). It would be interesting to see if and how that works for you and your … err … “partner”.

    Otherwise, feel free to reply or email me, but, just to let you know, it’s highly unlikely I’ll respond.

  2. monkeywerks says:

    So I was correct in my original analysis. You can criticize these ideas and call it depraved and of course smugly put down my partners, then you refuse to read not only the essay but obviously the links contained in it as well. Class this is what ego protection and blue pill thinking looks like.

    As for meeting me and my partner you have us already, or at least you have met men and women who do employ this activity in their daily lives and men who think as I do. You do not like us though because we think differently than you, and yet we often have the things and live the life you secretly desire. I will be the guy driving a cool car with a fine woman in the passenger seat. Hell, who knows maybe she will be driving her own fast car.

  3. L. says:

    Great! Let’s meet. Time? Place?

    • monkeywerks says:

      Now why would I want to go out of my way meeting with someone who cannot even show enough common courtesy to entirely read my essay even though you may not agree with it. Might I remind you that in your first comment to me you stated you wanted to write more but didn’t because you were afraid I would not respond and dismiss you out of hand, which says a lot about you in and of itself. Not only did I respond but I addressed your following comment in detail. So you begged my time and my respect to not only read your comment which was lacking in any sort of supporting evidence for your contentions and was rich in unsupported conflicting opinion, but now you show me disrespect by acknowledging you outright refuse to read my essay in full and respond in detail with supporting evidence to the contrary if you can find some that is. And no, polling a few women with a highly loaded question as I suspect, does not equal supporting evidence. You sir are a hypocrite.

      Is it because what I wrote challenges your ego or prior conditioning? In your smugness are just expecting to see what you want to see, such as an emotionally abused meek woman. In reality the meeting would disappoint you. Most of the women I date are actually alpha females themselves in most respects. My ex wife would race one of my cars and owns her own business and one girlfriend remodeled 2 of her houses by herself. Both of these women could probably beat many men in a fist fight. They are far from meek or submissive in day to day life. If anything they only submit to me. These are just 2 of several examples.

      No, the people I choose to spend my time with are already friends or at least men and women open minded enough to honestly listen and consider the issues I and many others write about. With these individuals we mutually are considering friendship with each other even though we may disagree with one another on certain topics. You already have your mind made up, so any meeting would be unfruitful.

  4. L. says:

    Yeah, I figured you were full of shit. I’ll read your bloody essay when I have a reason to believe you’re not just another e-badass trying to pass off your 50 Shades of Grey fanfiction as reality.

  5. […] agree with me, yet he and his ardent supporters of rational thinkers were greatly outnumbered.  As I stated yesterday to a white knight defending feminine […]

  6. […] agree with me, yet he and his ardent supporters of rational thinkers were greatly outnumbered. As I stated yesterday to a white knight defending feminine […]

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