Christianity has become extremely feminized over the last 20 years or so and I would say that the women a man would meet in church are worse marriage material than the women he would normally meet in the secular world.  Churched women have an unrealistically high sense of entitlement that would be difficult for any man to satisfy, Christian or not.   And of course as a man you will receive a constant barrage of “Man Up” and “men bad- women good” messages, with some twisted scriptures thrown in for an illusion of credibility.  As for me, I have an evangelical protestant background from when I started attending church on my own in my early 20’s but I was not brought up in any church.   The following are mostly from my own personal observations.  I no longer attend Church nor will I ever again.

You have 3 types of women in church:

  1. The actual virgins are looking for the perfect husband and are often so deluded with lists so long that only Christ himself would qualify as good enough to pop her holy cherry. Many of the young women in this group seem to turn their virginity into a type of idolatry.  It seems that God turns out to be the biggest cock block for those men with enough guts to approach these girls.  I say guts because with these young women it will be like traversing a battlefield with the prize of her pure untouched punanni on the other side.  You will just have to hope and pray (and trust her word, lol) that she wasn’t giving up anal sex and blowjobs in an effort to save her pussy for marriage so she could “technically” still be a virgin.  Of course the average churched young man would need to have every qualification on her 463 bullet point list and need to put a ring on her finger before you can get into her panties.  Just remember that these same women have been promised in all of her church groups, in the sermons she heard and from the elders women that their virginity is so valuable and the sex will be so good in marriage that these women on that faithful night will expect nothing less than the planets aligning, the seas parting and little birds singing as they sit on the windowsill.  Unfortunately it is unlikely that she will even reach orgasm that first night and if her new husband is also a virgin they will have quite a bit of a learning curve to deal with.  The worse things these women could do is marry a man who is a virgin himself.  I think it would be best if these young women married men who were considerably older and more experienced than them as was the norm for most of human civilization.  Only an older experienced man has the hand to deal with these entitlement princesses.  Her virginity would only be partial payment for the work he would have to do with her.  However no modern church would ever condone such a thing.  Some of these women will never learn to settle for a real man when compared to the imaginary prince she envisions, and will end up the 30 year old spinster virgin who has lost whatever looks she had and her fertility window.  Many of these women have an unrealistic vision in their heads of what they think they deserve because God said that they are the princess’s to the His Kingdom.  It’s sad to think of all of the good men they ended up disregarding out of hand because of these expectations.  This woman will still need to be gamed hard by her husband because her entitlement monkey will be strong in her.

 

  1. Now we have the born again sluts who rode the carousel hard and are so screwed up biologically, mentally and emotionally that any man who dates (or God forbid, marry) them is in for a world of hurt, torment and self doubt. (Yes, I have seen this many times). I will say this in case you didn’t figure it out from the previous sentence; NO RINGS FOR SLUTS! Period.  The singles ministries are full of them.  They can fake being good girls but an observant man can pick out these women.  You can always go to the Sunday morning nightclub and score with these women where they outnumber the men significantly, but do not marry them.  These women have low impulse control regardless of their new found faith and only the strongest of alpha’s will be able to hold her down (at least temporarily) in what would likely only end up only being a semi monogamous relationship.  For any guy with Game trying to score with these women they are perfect pickings.  Just don’t marry them.  I have even seen men in church have a harem of these types of women in the same church, although this is very rare because most churches will kick such a guy out quickly.  Another thing with these women is that the church will never hold them accountable.

 

  1. Then you have the old housewives who although may stay at home, home school and all of that, you can tell just by meeting them briefly that they are overbearing harpies and all of their husbands are incurable beta chumps who behind the masks of the “yes dears” are utterly miserable. These women will support women’s preferred type of sexual promiscuity, serial monogamy.  They will make sure that men are adequately shamed for such infraction such as dating much younger women and those who do not tow the modern trad-con line.   It is these women that either directly work with church leaders to drive out good alpha Christian men or create the environment where good alpha men will not come to church.  These women will often try to make sure certain rules are followed in order to give other Christian women moral cover for their bad decisions and lack of discretion.  These same women are the ones raising and teaching these younger women in the church how to get what they think they are entitled too.  It is bad that they refuse to follow and heed God’s words in the matter.

 

The modern church will also ruin a good woman.  Yes, those women do exist in very small numbers.  In all good conscience I would never take my daughters or any woman I am in a relationship with to any modern church.  Now good churches do exist, but they are few and far between.  The good ones won’t have rock bands or child ministries or any of that “new” stuff.  The best type of worship services are held in someone’s living room.  But because the pastors of these churches are usually still beta white knights and total mangina’s I am still given pause.  Either way these good women will be negatively influenced by their Christian sisters and that is never a good thing.  In reality Christian women are not looking for a Christian man to marry so they can be a good wife to him and mother to his children, no, they are looking for a man to worship them like she worships herself.

 

See Also:

Reframing Christian marriage

Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.

Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.

Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.

Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.

The Typical Christian Woman’s List

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Comments
  1. LOL I think I’d fall into the #1 category… and many girlfriends I knew back then would’ve too. I was always surprised that the difference between us was that my mom actually talked positively about sex in marriage – and educated me on many things concerning being a wife & sensual being, whereas their moms often NEVER talked about sex positively – or sometimes even at all. For religious Christian girls, that is probably the worst things their mothers can do for them – give them absolutely no information on how amazing sex is, or role model to follow. So obviously, being a virgin was ridiculously hard, and my husband and I didn’t make it to the end of our engagement without having sex – but I think being a virgin before that was definitely worth it – I didn’t have any horrible experiences to ruin how I thought of sex at the least (girls my husband had been with before did have horrible past experiences – and “ruined sex” probably stayed with them throughout their lives)… and there were no past “lovers” to virtually compete with my husband once I got married. Once engaged, I bought sex books and learned as much information as I could before getting married – I don’t think many religious virgins would’ve known to do that, but some of my married friends (Christian women that were also young and married) suggested it – and revealed that they only got those books as wedding presents. Needless to say, that first year of marriage was amazing sexually – it was so insane and mind-blowing for me, all the experimentation and new sensations, being a virgin, I had a clean slate so to speak… my husband was blown away by the quality of our sexual passion, and it definitely set the tone of our marriage for the years to come.
    LOL I think it was like traversing a battlefield that my hubby had to go through when dating or even trying to date me (being honest!)… but I’ve had very close friends who I’ve tried to convince that their lists were too harsh for any man, and as a result, many of them are either 1) unhappy in marriage and making their kids and husbands unhappy as a default, or 2) still single and waiting for some kind of perfect man that I still try to convince them will never exist. Women aren’t perfect by any means, we’re all human, so I don’t know where some girls/women get this idea that their future spouse has to be so perfect.

  2. […] Source: The Types of Women in Church – A Primer […]

  3. monkeywerks says:

    You mentioned 3 very important things. The first is that since you were a virgin you didn’t have the memories of other men in your mind. That’s hugely important. I don’t think it matters a bit if a woman loses her virginity before the wedding and then marries the same man. He was still her one and only. When you just know that this is going to he your husband the temptation is so great.

    Two, is that your mother instilled in you a very positive attitude about sex. I think most sexual problems can be traced to ones upbringing and attitudes about sex. My ex wife was not taught positively for example and sex with her was unsatisfying to say the least. So when you did have sex you were probably looking forward to it positively, maybe a little nervous, but not overly so and you had a true desire to please your husband. I’m speculation of course, and I do this out of respect.

    Third is that your husband was NOT a virgin when you two married. He had at least a little experience. I think that takes alot of the awkwardness away from the act. He at least had seen girly parts before in real life, lol.

    Correct me if I am wrong on any of this. I am neither a woman or a virgin.

  4. […] wrote most of this as a companion to The Women in Church essay, but a comment on J4M prompted me to include his comment in this essay and thus my response to it […]

  5. […] wrote most of this as a companion to The Women in Church essay, but a comment on J4M prompted me to include his comment in this essay and thus my response to it […]

  6. […] to see that the origins of this young woman’s harmful attitudes about sex originated from with her church’s indoctrination and its foundational belief system.  Although she is a stout feminist, her attitudes about sex were likely fully ingrained into her […]

  7. […] to see that the origins of this young woman’s harmful attitudes about sex originated from with her church’s indoctrination and its foundational belief system. Although she is a stout feminist, her attitudes about sex were likely fully ingrained into her […]

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