By: MonkeyWerks

It is because they can’t, although they want to.  That’s why.  Even the married Christian men are not getting pussy from their wives.  That was the bill of goods sold me in church.  I was promised a lot of sexy times in my sanctified marriage.  I have learned that that was total BS.  Don’t believe me, then why is porn supposedly so rampant with Churched™ men and why do married men need porn so much?  It is because their wives simply refuse to have sex to them.  These men are also not doing what is necessary to make their wives sexually attracted to them, I will admit.  The Church™ ironically teaches these men to do the exact opposite of what would make their wives positively sexually aroused by them.

I have a good friend that when we talk about banging women, or more accurately the woman I am banging,  he always tells me his morals don’t allow him to pump and dump sluts, or engage with multiple woman at a time.  He rationalizes that his morals will not allow him to engage in such behavior.  He is MGTOW not by choice, but by circumstances. I try to tell him red pill truths but he will argue with me and rationalize these truths away using the very shaming language the feminists do, but the real reason is that he cannot meet women to bang because he lacks self confidence and Game and refuses to understand the principals involved.

He is one of the nice guys that’s has gotten fucked over by every woman he was involved with.  He has told me several times that no woman would want a 50 year old fat and balding man who is broke, and he is probably right, to some extent, but how to the similarly situated alphas bang the woman they do? He has owns his own business, but as like many small business owners he has been through some tough times.  I know hypergamy is a cruel master of all women.  It just sucks that he is in this position.  Will he find happiness and peace without a woman?  I hope he does, but I don’t think he will.  I say this because he wants a woman.  Most men honestly do.  He just is unwilling to do the work to reinvent himself to be in the position to attract the women we wants.

Recently he argued with me about the SMV of men and woman.  He thinks an older woman has the same value as a similar aged man in the SMP and the MMP.  I tried to explain the difference in SMV in the SMP, but he wouldn’t listen.   In fact he tongue lashed me with sever anger, which I stoically let him vent before continuing undeterred.  He is also was very firm on his belief that dating should lead to marriage.  I will mention more on that issue below.  He denigrated me when I told him I would never marry an older woman or a woman who has had more than 1 other sexual partner; if I was even to remarry.  He brought up the forgiveness factor for (reformed sluts), which when I explained the science behind sluts being unable to pair bond and the statistics showing how a woman’s number of sexual partners negatively affect her ability to remain married for life became quite angry telling me stats are meaningless, and went on to explain if you make a decision to not be a statistic you won’t be one, which of course is absurd when considering such important issues as marriage.  I patiently reminded him that statistics are cold hard facts that don’t lie.  This is a problem I see all of the time debating with TradCon’s.  They are so invested in their ideologies they are unable to look past them and then they use these same ideologies as excuses for their failures.

On the issue of marriage Dalrock’s post on boyfriends and Donal Graeme’s post on courting explain the current state of affairs (dating) even with traditional and Christian women.  The behaviors accompanying these social conventions preclude many of these women from even being marriage material.  When considering that all woman use the same program to find husbands, their families uselessness, the issue of female hypergamy and the feminine imperative that has become a cancer in the Church™ it is not hard to conclude that unless a young Christian man marries a young Christian woman who is a virgin about the age of 18-21, he is screwed or not screwed, depending how you see things.  Furthermore, if you are not willing to be the man in your marriage, you don’t deserve a good one and deserve the ass raping you will get in divorce court.  Don’t be this type of man.

Sex is a need and it is up to the man to put himself in the best situation to fill that need as morally and as in line with God’s word as possible.  I will leave it up to you to decide if premarital sex is a necessity in this present day due to the general and unfavorable marriage market that is presented to men.  Personally, I came to the realization that there is no shame in having premarital sex under the current system.  The article Why Christian men don’t deserve virgins says it crudely. The message Christian women are receiving is the same nevertheless?  They are learning in Church™ that there is no shame for being a slut and that Christian men are obligated to marry them once they ask for forgiveness for their lifetime of whorish behaviors.  Here are two more article here and here that you should read.  You don’t want to be the only virgin in the room when all the women have had enough cock to outfit a football team.  That fact will defiantly not get you laid or a wife.  As for saving yourself for marriage, I don’t think men should worry about their virginity as much.  It is far more important for a woman to be a virgin than a man for many reasons.  It seems that most of the sexual dysfunction comes from the actual teachings about sex than the fact the woman is a virgin.  See here also.  I have not guilt for my extensive sexual dalliances pre marriage.

I see a very common, but yet extremely dangerous mindset prevalent with Christian men I speak too.  All devout Christian men I have spoken to about sex, marriage, dating and women in general all say the essentially same things.  They tell me that I should “sacrifice” myself for my wife regardless of her behavior towards me.  They tell me if I do this my wife will then respect me.  They of course conveniently never mention the other issue of biblical submission. Of course I bring up that the bible states that the wife should submit to and respect her husband first, as the bible clearly states that is the order for this dynamic to operate.  To further explain this, a young woman growing up should be respectful and generally submissive to all of the men in her family, such as her father and brothers.  This is evidenced when exploring gender dynamics in scripture, from Sara to Mary.  I also tell these same men that nowhere in scripture does God command men to sacrifice themselves for women.  We are commanded to love our wife like Christ loved the church and take care of them like we would ourselves.  Dying to self for the sole benefit of our wife or any woman for that matter is unbiblical and silly. Therefore, this mindset creates the favorable conditions for a wife to control and lead her husband contrary to scripture.  This is the common problem we see in the feminized Church™ of today.  Most Christian men are simply submissive and controlled by their domineering wives.  Even my ex tried that shit with me far too often, twisting the scriptures as she was taught to do for her own gain and to further her feminine imperative.  It did not work of course, but her feminist beliefs compelled her to nuke our marriage anyways.  It goes against common sense and biblical dictum for the Church™ to actually promote to Christian men to marry these LINE THROUGH sluts reformed virgins, such as this one who is just like my brothers fiancé.  I know there is a very small minority of Christian men who are awesome alphas that run their families with love and firmness, but let’s face it, most Christian men are pussies and they are utterly supplicating to their domineering and controlling wives.  They will defend their ego driven ideology by saying that they are emulating Christ, but Jesus was not weak, nor was he ever powerless.  My ex told me once that she heard in Church™ “The man is the head of the family, but the woman is the neck that turns the head”.  That was an entirely circular statement negating the man’s real headship of his family and giving the power to the wife.  That is just an example of the stealthy indoctrination that is occurring and no Christian man I ever met would ever speak up against such crap, let alone even notice such bullshit spewing forth from no other than a female preacher’s ass (mouth).  The truth is if the typical Christian man did in fact grow some balls and spoke up against this crap to his wife she would stop giving him those patronizing back circles in Church™ and his bi-monthly allowance of sex would be cut off.

Women all want to portray the Strong Independent Woman persona.  My ex wife made a point to make clear to me she was this way when we met up until she left me.  Her leaving was just the end result of her mindset and indoctrination.  She became angry at me for demanding we change Churches for how I say that their teachings were not only unbiblical but how those teachings were destructive to our marriage.  During our discussion I was filled with righteous anger about the garbage spewing from her mouth and told her so, but her anger at my questioning her consistent desire to control our family and lead it to ruin was quite baffling at the time.  But instead of her being able to communicate about this issue in a calm mature way, she decided nuking our family was the best course of action, for her.  What was likely also churning in her mind was her revulsion for a recent business failure I had to endure.  As I was taking the corrective actions and dealing with the particular challenges that were presented to me, it was very apparent the whole episode thoroughly disgusted her.  This was one of the rare times I really needed her to understand and just love and help me help our family get through these hard yet temporary challenges.  This was a test of our marriage and our abilities to work as a team and she failed miserably.  With her help we would have made it through this time fairly well, without our problems were multiplied, especially mine.  However all I received from her was contempt.  The lesson learned was Hypergamy is a cruel task master.  It was during this time I started to doubt my entire marriage experience and my entire belief system..

It is time to fully boycott the Church™ and refuse to finance this direct attack against our masculinity and our marriages.  I wish I could recommend targeting these men for some serious red pill wisdom, but their indoctrination with the fem-centric church and the fear of their wives is strong, likely too strong I am afraid.

All women say they want nice guys, but they don’t really want them because nice guys do not dampen their panties like the alphas do.  Women will treat the nice guys like shit, they always have and they always will.  Women are actually easy to understand.  These rules apply to Christian and secular women alike.  All women respond to the same cues God inserted into their firmware.  It’s the men who are too lazy or who just plain refuse to learn how women think who seem to do the most complaining.  Also, if you look close at them these same men lack any real power in their lives over many aspects of their lives.  Meeting and having sex with any woman that you want is only a part of a successful and enriched life.  God wanted us to live to our full potential for His glory.  He gave us our individual gifts, why do men squander them and live life only half way?

Women who are worth a commitment will usually get one from a decent man.  The problem is that the Church™ and other Christian woman will get in the way of any marriage by teaching women everything they need to know to screw their marriage up.  The only logical conclusion to have is to avoid Christian women in general for anything more than a fuck toy.  It is like they are virgins anyways.

In the end my extensive experience with various Churches™ and Christians in general, specifically my devout ex wife has left me with a very bitter taste in my mouth and has affected my own Christian walk in ways that have left my faith shattered if not completely broken.  Maybe it was my own fathers absence that cause me too often stumble in my walk with God, and like me, my daughters are likely to suffer the same fate.  When my daughters become more self aware and are able to reason such things out, they will come to learn that their mother’s Church™ and her core religious and feminist beliefs were a major contributor to the failure of their parent’s marriage and the subsequent breakup of our family.  I no longer have the spiritual or emotional energy to spiritually lead my children.  Frankly I just no longer care if my children believe in the bible or believe in a more relativistic ideology, and based upon the constant twisting of the scriptures, the feminization of the Church™, and the Churches™ total unwillingness to hold Christian women accountable for their actions, I cannot in good conscience promote Christianity as a valid and positive belief system.  Also the Church™ refuses to temper and correct Christian women’s feral nature and unrealistic expectations.  Therefore, I see no future benefit with either myself or my children’s continued affiliation with either a Church™ organization or individuals specifically because of their belief in Christ.  My story is very common.  Maybe my attitudes will change and maybe they will persist.  Only time and Gods will tell.

Edit: Further Reading:

Reframing Christian marriage
Reframing Christian marriage part 2: rebelling wives aren’t to blame for their own rebellion.
Reframing Christian marriage part 3: husbands as helpmeets.
Reframing Christian marriage part 4: judging the performance.
Reframing Christian marriage part 5: sex as a weapon.


  1. infowarrior1 says:

    Fornication is a sin period. In the old testament if you seduce a virgin though you must pay the bride price and she shall be your wife. If you cheat you are killed according to the law.

    • monkeywerks says:

      I realize fornication is a sin. But so is all the things women do such as promiscuous, divorce, controlling their husbands, etc. At what point does a man say fuck it and do his own thing. Celibacy is not in the cards for me. Spinning plates was fun but after marriage I like the idea of a monogamous relationship, just not marriage. If I met and fell in love with a virgin, I would likely marry her, IF she proved that she would follow the proper standards and principals for a good lifetime marriage.

      • infowarrior1 says:

        Alright I understand.

      • kona145 says:

        Hi. Thanks for pinging this on my blog. I found myself nodding my head a lot while I was reading this article. I see now that feminism has crept into the church (starting from the Civil War) and the damaging effects it’s had with both men and women. Basically, when the men went to fight, the women took over and put their spin on how the church should be run. This is why there are so many more women than men in churches now. What man wants to attend basically an extended feel-good tea party? Before the Civil War, the church was a mission to go win souls. I once supported feminism. But the feminists are not after “equality” like we were led to believe. These are sexists. They want women to be the dominant gender. That’s why many of them don’t want to get married and many are lesbians. They don’t want to be “under the control” of a man. Yet, that is how Woman was created – as a helpmeet. And you’re right, unfortunately. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE NICE GUYS. I know this because I am one. You can’t be a nice guy to them. You have to be a dick. With what Infowarrior said, I do agree that fornication is a sin. But what is fornication? I’ve heard that the definition for fornication has changed in the last 200 years to include premarital or extra-marital sex. It originally meant prostitution, especially religious prostitution. Notice in the old testament, if you seduce a virgin, there is not blood penalty necessary for sin. All sin required that, either the person was killed or an animal in his/her place, depending on the severity of sin. Premarital sex has no such punishment. All it had attached was a way for the father to get back his money since now she is no longer a virgin and is “worth” less now than if she was. Contrast this to cheating (i.e., Adultery), a sin so horrendous and damaging that it carried with it the death penalty for both parties involved.

      • monkeywerks says:

        Kona, Thank for joining us. The war of northern aggression signaled a big change and the start of the downfall of this once great country. That war changed the positive paradigm the US operated under. I will write more on this political aspect later.
        But you are correct on your observations about woman moving in and controlling the Church in general. It is women who are the majority that attend church and drag their Beta husbands along with them so they can be brainwashed into the feminist mindset. Notice how almost every churches does not teach biblical submission of wives or biblical headship for husbands.
        Also I like your reasoning about sexual purity in the OT and the NT. As for premarital sex, it is something I noticed many years ago and thus do not feel any guilt about banging sluts before I was married. Your reason on adultery is also correct.
        It has always been important for a woman to be a virgin before marriage and for men there was never any such commandment, although the feminine imperative wants to promote this unbiblical view so as to be able to use sex as a means to control men, especially in marriages. Now going one step further we also see that woman will use this as a way to screen out the “nice guys” who cannot get laid. I could always point out the male virgins in church and even in the church environment they did not get any play while I was banging the reformed sluts.
        So the lesson here is….DON’T BE A NICE GUY.

  2. 8to12 says:

    Great start to your blog.

    Sorry to see you went through the grinder.

    We need more men like you blogging. Christian men that have had their eyes opened to the problems of churchianity.

  3. aaronthejust says:

    My morals didn’t allow me to sleep around when I was young, which probably saved me from a lot of wasted time and heartache chasing girls or accidentally getting them pregnant.

    Continence is still moral. But the truth is, God is probably more concerned with the rampant sin of gluttony in my own life (and amongst my friends and family) than he is with, say, my frequent forays into fornication.

  4. monkeywerks says:

    I think God is far more upset at women nuking their families over nothing than over divorced men banging sluts.

    • MK says:

      Traditional Christianity would say they all will end up in hell so would it make you feel any better to have to spend eternity in hell with them?

      I think probably the biggest downfall with Christianity these days is forgiveness is too easy, repenting should be hard and require true change. Otherwise all you have is cheap grace and bad religion.

      • monkeywerks says:

        Completely agree. The woman want cheap grace and forgiveness so they may run around wild and then say “you cant judge me and tell me what I did was wrong because I am a Christan” yet they will never truly repent and change their behaviors.

  5. Just my two cents, but…

    A man knows when to hold ’em, and knows when to fold ’em. The entire community – legal, church, social – is demanding that you become a slave to your rebellious wife. That you accept responsibility for the marriage she detonated, and that you now beg her for the privilege of seeing your children.

    Don’t do that.

    The best example you can set for your daughters is refusing to bend. Full custody, or none at all; so long as she is the one permitting visitation, she’ll be using your girls as leverage against you; they’ll grow up seeing a father who’s weak and manipulable, and they’ll blame you for the failure of the marriage.

    She’s going to be badmouthing you no matter what; you need to stick to your guns and walk tall, despite that.

    • monkeywerks says:

      That is exactly what she is doing. I have not begged her or put up with any of her demands. I also will not take responsibility for her evil behavior. I do plan on a full custody fight if she does not sign the consent agreement giving me 50% custody or split custody. That way i can influence the kids to a pint to neutralize her effects. The kids already know mommy did all of this and daddy never wanted to break up the family. I made sure they knew the truth from the start.

      It might just happen she will poison my daughters minds to where there is no point in continuing a relationship with them, or that they refuse one with me. Its shitty, but I will not be that dad that has kids who refuse to respect them because of the poison by the ex wife. I would rather make new ones.

  6. deti says:

    Good stuff.

  7. […] Why Christian Men Choose Not to Get Laid Before Marriage […]

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  9. […] Why Christian Men Choose Not to Get Laid Before Marriage ( […]

  10. My first time here. Excellent article. I hope you haven’t given up on your Christian faith. Church attendance is not at all necessary to be saved from the consequences of our sins. Faith in Christ is the cornerstone.

    As mentioned above, joint physical and legal custody is what you need to obtain. Even if you do not obtain this, I highly encourage you to maintain your relationship with your daughters. So many “professionals” indicate the importance of a healthy father relationship for both sons and daughters.

    I’ve been through the ringer as well. No way I would get married again.

    • monkeywerks says:

      Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am writing an essay concerning my faith and my walk with God in the past and in the present. I hope you can read it when its finished. I welcome you to write about your experiences also. I would like to start including other men’s stories on here, especially how they reinvented themselves and succeeded at moving past divorce and similar problems.

  11. […] Why Christian Men Choose Not to Get Laid Before Marriage ( […]

  12. Christianity contains too many legal loopholes for women

    Also monogamous marriage isnt taught in the bible, christians use adam & eve as justification for monogamy, even though most of the men in the bible had multiple wives

    Christianity is nothing but a gynocracy religion, designed to serve women

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